GreenerGrass Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 hello all. I got a new light shed on me yesterday. The ex and I met up to get ice cream together with our daughter. The meeting was actually peaceful. She ended up breaking down, and apologizing for how she hurt me, and how selfish she was. This is the first time, she's ever put that much emotion into something. No, I'm not accepting her apology, nor accepting her back. This didn't ruin my day by any means. The day was fantastic and eventful. I no longer what if anything. I fully accept its over. But time to time I still get down because our daughter is not going to be raised by two parents in the same household, and coming from a broken home I wanted better for my daughter. However, at first I didn't want to have a friendship with her. Simply because she was pretty much a jerk, but in a female version. I think I maybe able to salvage a friendship out of the deal, and explain in the next paragraph. After her apology, I explained to her, the damage is irreversible, and the trust is completely gone. Then I thought about it after she left. This girl doesn't know what love means. She has a new flame (albeit a dead one). Pretty much is just using her, but that's not my problem. That's a laugh on my part. She's not in love with either one of us. Even though she misses everything we had, and feels like trash for abandoning her family (My daughter and I). I finally saw the light.. This girl will never find love until she stops being selfish. Everything always had to be about her. I couldn't do anything for anyone else without her getting enraged. If I bought a pair of shoes, she'd have to get a pair, or we'd fight for hours or days about it. Love isn't selfish, love is about give and take. Bottom of the line is this. I'm ready to find that give and take, comprising, love with someone else. Good day LS GG
spriggig Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 People who don't love themselves can't fully, honestly love another. It's hard to love a selfish person--even if it's yourself.
Shakz Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Right on GG. But I'm a little curious why you wouldn't accept her apology. Love and forgiveness are closely related. Stay strong but try to forgive, and you'll be a happier man. Remember your daughter always, and that as much as she loves you, she probably loves her mom too.
Author GreenerGrass Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Well aside from the cheating she did during the relationship. The constant, bs, drama, and general lack of care, and constant lack of respect. There is no bringing any of that back. I put in my 150% to make it work but couldn't. During our break, she ran off with some married guy, and is torn between the two of us. It doesn't bother me one bit. I became an option, and I shouldn't have to be an option in my lovers life. GG
AlwaysConflicted Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 You did the right thing. That selfish quality is a real show stopper. If I got sick, my ex would talk about how it affected her, if I lost my job my ex would complain about how it affected her. Ditch the selfish girls, they are nothing but trouble.
willirecover Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 GG I see so many parralels with your story, My ex was the same everything had to be for her otherwise I was selfish! I admire your strength and will be following your updates! WIR
Author GreenerGrass Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Thanks WIR. I have troubles from day to day. The biggest one I have is the fact I'm single while everyone of my friends are either married or have a LTR. I'm looking forward to the future... but I still can't see anyone else wanting me. I have a 5 year old who I wouldn't trade for anything.. But I feel as if women are going to look down on me and just walk away. Which is fine. Any woman who won't accept my child isn't for me. I'm trying real hard to work on it. I'm over my ex, and all I feel is numbness when she's around. She can talk to me all day about her new flame, and I don't think anything of it. I know that I'm going to be alright no matter the outcome. Furthermore, I know what I got, and that's good enough for me. My ex is bad news. She's extremely selfish. If I did something for my parents, she'd be screaming for hours. But anytime her mother called, I couldn't say anything. Well it turns out her pull to see her mother is how she met her new flame LoL. I was lied to the entire relationship about her feelings towards him. He was just a friend. Either way it don't matter much. I'm working on me, and not focusing on her.
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