newguyhere Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Hi guys, I have been reading posts on here for quite some time trying to find comfort in my own situation. Me and my ex girlfriend of 4 years broke up in july 2009, but I just cant seem to let her go. It has been a year now and both of us are still single, but she told me yesturday that we will never be together again. Everyone I know ask me why I still want her. I dont know why I also have a fear that I will never love or be loved by anyone again. The pain I feel right now is just as bad as it was a year ago. All my friends have moved across the country and are married, I moved to this town for work and dont have any close friends or family near. I go to work and come home to an empty apartment feeling alone. Its unbearable sometimes.
cleveraccountname Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 If you are remaining in contact, this needs to stop. Honestly, it's the only way. I was broken up with a couple of weeks ago after 3 years together. I know it's a long road ahead but if you remain in contact, you're never going to be able to get on with your life. You WILL find someone who will love you and appreciate you more than your ex ever could, but you're not going to be in the right frame of mind to succeed romantically while you're still attached to your ex. As painful and depressing as it is, you have to cut her out of your life - completely. It might not have to be forever, but it has to be long enough for you to see beyond your life with her. NO CONTACT. Best of luck with everything and remember you DESERVE to be happy, and you will be.
Author newguyhere Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Thanks. I know that you are right. We were in no contact for about 6 months but she lost her job and ended up getting a job at my workplace of all places . I was feeling pretty good about everyting up to that point but seeing her again just brought up all those feelings that were deep down inside. I know feeling sorry for myself is not going to get me anywhere. I keep a smile at all times when we cross paths at work and make her laugh. I told her that I would not bother her anymore and didnt get upset in front of her or anything. I just wonder how someone could be so cold after being together for 4 years. I guess I just need to vent out my frustrations and feelings. Feels good .
Theideaofme Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 My ex told me the same thing, and went back and forth and back with it. She once said that she'd "never be in a relationship" with me again, called about a week later crying saying that 'she knows that she doesn't want to be with me now, but can't say that she'd never want to be with me' (which gave me false hopes, big-time) only to tell me several weeks from then that she doesn't love me anymore and will never view me as "husband material" and will "never be in a relationship" with me "ever again" and that she "was never happy" with me, despite 3 years etc etc. She had reasons for stating these things, what reasons does your ex have for saying this to you?
Author newguyhere Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the reply Theideaofme. Im not entirely sure why she said those things. I know the reason why we broke up. I got really sick back in January 2007 and was on very strong medication for 2 years. This medication has a side effect of changing your personality and making you depressed. I was not the same person while I was on those meds and treated her wrong, so she broke up with me. Its hard for anyone to understand what I went through and how I felt while I was on the medication. I didnt even realize how much I changed at first. But the damage was done and she won't believe me when I tell her that it was the medication. I have been off it for a year now and thankfully back to normal. I guess she said those things expecting me to be the way I was for the last 2 years we were together. She lost all feelings for me and don't care if I changed or not. She told me she is not mad, she dont hate me, she just dont want to be with me anymore. Ever Edited July 12, 2010 by newguyhere spelling LOL
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