theodora Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Hi everyone Haven't posted for a while...my resolve slipped. I went back . We had sex bla bla. It was the same as it always was. Excep,t maybe Didn't even feel that amazing. But naturally, having done a good job of unattachig myself from him b4...he just kept pestering me...and eventually I succumed. Telling myself "he loves me" "he can't let me go"...so funny how easy I am to fool. All it takes is a couple of texties from him, and most of those were sex-based HOWEVER, obviously it hasn't taken long before it's just started to hurt again, and this evening, thinking about the fact that my MM is currently ignoring me, ouch, it suddenly occurred to me that it's actually quite useful to consider the possibility that this pain is deserved. I don't mean in a moral sense, I mean in a logical sense. I mean, because I choose it. I am doing the emotional equivalent of running into a brick wall and then feeling sorry for myself when it hurts. It's not because "life is unfair". It's not because "my one true love just happaned to be already taken". it's not because "I deserve to suffer" on some kind of cosmic level. My pain is directly connected to who he is as a human being: he hurts people. He hurts me. And I hurt is because I choose him. Listen, fellow OWs, there isn't much pain in life that you can say that about. Do you know what I mean? The pain of losing a family member, the pain of sickness, the pain when someone we love is suffering, the pain we all feel allbeit perhaps unconsciously at the certain knowledge of our own impending deaths . What other pain is so swiftly and easily removed from one's life than the pain directly attributable to one person and one hopeless relationship? I sort of think it really IS that easy: it doesn't have to hurt like this. I can end all my pain and suffering. I can euthanize my expectations of him. Like a dog, I can have my fantasy about him put to sleep. And the pain will go away. OMG. I just realised something: "OW" or "Ow! That hurts!" I'm going to stop choosing this pain. I swear it. I am. I don't want it to hurt any more. And somehow, the true realisation that I choose it, that I have it because I choose it, it feels like I'm having an epiphany!!! And now instead of feeling sad, I feel extatic! ................. Hope I'm not just bipolar .........
jthorne Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 This is one of the best posts I have read in a long time.
Author theodora Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 wow thanks my spelling is a bit hay-wire, think i was a bit overexcited when I wrote it!
D-Lish Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 he hurts people. He hurts me. And I hurt is because I choose him. This is insightful, and it's the truth. Your situation isn't limited to an ow/mm situation; Single women also opt to accept less than what they deserve. I've stayed with more than a few men in my past that simply didn't deserve my adoration or attention. The specifics of your situation are different, but the logistics are the same. We've all settled for men we know aren't good enough for us, or will ultimately bring us trouble. You don't deserve the pain, and I'm sorry you're feeling it. I guess what I want to convey is that I am a former BS, (never been a ow)- but I've made some pretty ridiculous choices about some of the guys I've dated in the past. They might not have been married- but I should have known better. We're all prone to making bad choices when our emotions come into play, because we're all human.
Spark1111 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 to me, it does not matter if you are a WS, BS, or OM/OW. Raise your expectations. Raise the bar on what and who deserves your love and adoration! Love yourself more and you will expect more, deserve more and get more out of your relationships! You will also cut loose those who do not give as much as you do! Choose wisely and well! It's is your life and you are responsible for your happiness. No one else. You! It is all up to you.
Hazyhead Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 You made me laugh Theo. It was like reading a eureka moment You succumbed. It happens. Don't beat yourself up about it; pick yourself off and give him the finger. You'll find your peace over it - stay as ecstatic as poss, life will catch up the feeling. If you're bipolar then there's a lot of us here that need a psych evaluation!
TaraMaiden Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Theodora, You said it. You said it well. You said it right. Talk about a light-bulb "ahaaaah!" moment! I have a distinct feeling this is not going to be a recurring pattern. Very good, very good on you, very well done. Incidentally, this is something I have often told people. That every action is a choice. not always a popular thing to say. It's sometimes drawn hostile and resentful responses. That has never made it any the less true. but coming from "one who knows, and is living it" speaks volumes. Bravo, dearest!! keep it up, hun!!
wheelwright Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Hi everyone Haven't posted for a while...my resolve slipped. I went back . We had sex bla bla. It was the same as it always was. Excep,t maybe Didn't even feel that amazing. But naturally, having done a good job of unattachig myself from him b4...he just kept pestering me...and eventually I succumed. Telling myself "he loves me" "he can't let me go"...so funny how easy I am to fool. All it takes is a couple of texties from him, and most of those were sex-based HOWEVER, obviously it hasn't taken long before it's just started to hurt again, and this evening, thinking about the fact that my MM is currently ignoring me, ouch, it suddenly occurred to me that it's actually quite useful to consider the possibility that this pain is deserved. I don't mean in a moral sense, I mean in a logical sense. I mean, because I choose it. I am doing the emotional equivalent of running into a brick wall and then feeling sorry for myself when it hurts. It's not because "life is unfair". It's not because "my one true love just happaned to be already taken". it's not because "I deserve to suffer" on some kind of cosmic level. My pain is directly connected to who he is as a human being: he hurts people. He hurts me. And I hurt is because I choose him. Listen, fellow OWs, there isn't much pain in life that you can say that about. Do you know what I mean? The pain of losing a family member, the pain of sickness, the pain when someone we love is suffering, the pain we all feel allbeit perhaps unconsciously at the certain knowledge of our own impending deaths . What other pain is so swiftly and easily removed from one's life than the pain directly attributable to one person and one hopeless relationship? I sort of think it really IS that easy: it doesn't have to hurt like this. I can end all my pain and suffering. I can euthanize my expectations of him. Like a dog, I can have my fantasy about him put to sleep. And the pain will go away. OMG. I just realised something: "OW" or "Ow! That hurts!" I'm going to stop choosing this pain. I swear it. I am. I don't want it to hurt any more. And somehow, the true realisation that I choose it, that I have it because I choose it, it feels like I'm having an epiphany!!! And now instead of feeling sad, I feel extatic! ................. Hope I'm not just bipolar ......... Begrudgingly (?) admitting great post. But like all eureka moments, there's a catch. I'm not doubting that this is the way to begin thinking for you, but I also realise that it's not so simple. People choose to have kids, and stay by their kids. Even though they know that this brings with it the greatest possibility of pain (the love it also brings is the reason we do it). My son breaks his arm, and goes under general anaesthetic at 4 yrs old. I am strung out with the pain of being with him through this. Do I reconsider my R with him? NO WAY. It's just more complicated. I wish it were so easy. If a R brings more happiness than pain, however deep the pain, we will pursue it. If it ceases to bring us happiness, that is when we should turn around. Guess that's where you are. Just saying, cos for many OW the pleasure still outweighs the pain. And once you have love in the equation, the pain has got to be severe, the happiness flat, for a reconsideration. That's mainly what we are talking about on this forum I reckon.
TaraMaiden Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Begrudgingly (?) admitting great post. But like all eureka moments, there's a catch. I'm not doubting that this is the way to begin thinking for you, but I also realise that it's not so simple. Actually, it really is that simple. but it's probably not that easy.... People choose to have kids, and stay by their kids. Even though they know that this brings with it the greatest possibility of pain (the love it also brings is the reason we do it). My son breaks his arm, and goes under general anaesthetic at 4 yrs old. I am strung out with the pain of being with him through this. Do I reconsider my R with him? NO WAY. If we choose to have children, our love for them is unquestioningly, and unquestionably, unconditional. The child never demanded to be here, we brought them into this world, so it is our duty to walk on fire for them. Affairs with the partners/spouses of others, is a purely selfish input, with several options available. There is always the choice to walk away. In short your argument here, is an "apples and oranges" one. There is no comparison. It's just more complicated. I wish it were so easy. There is nothing complicated about it at all, actually... The only reason it's not easy for you - is because you make the choice that way. If a R brings more happiness than pain, however deep the pain, we will pursue it. If it ceases to bring us happiness, that is when we should turn around. I disagree. If a relationship brings more happiness than pain, and it is what socially, morally or ethically would be considered an unwise relationship, then that happiness is not genuine, but is founded on the fervent desire and hope to maintain some kind of fulfilment. if the relationship is floating on pain, then there is something intrinsically wrong with the essence of that relationship. Guess that's where you are. Why are you prepared to wilfully put yourself through the gut-wrenching stomach-churning debilitating pain, when you really don';t have to go through it? Because you're choosing to do so. Just saying, cos for many OW the pleasure still outweighs the pain. And once you have love in the equation, the pain has got to be severe, the happiness flat, for a reconsideration. The instant you embark upon an affair, you know there will be pain. But what so many people in affairs forget, is that it's not just about their own pain. It's the seismic shock-waves and collateral damage which makes the situation so much worse and compounds the pain. because when the 5hit hits the fan, and everything explodes in their face, their emotions are secondary to the pain it causes others. This is a pain they choose to consider. This is a scenario they have made a choice to potentially create. This is a pain they are willing to inflict, in order to try to establish their own happiness. That's mainly what we are talking about on this forum I reckon. What is mainly talked about on this forum is justification and despair of non-commitment. Both painful topics. There is hardly one thread focussing entirely on the happiness the affair brings. Mostly, they're about Pain. Pain that is largely self-inflicted. It's not really a balance, is it?
bestplayer Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Begrudgingly (?) admitting great post. But like all eureka moments, there's a catch. I'm not doubting that this is the way to begin thinking for you, but I also realise that it's not so simple. People choose to have kids, and stay by their kids. Even though they know that this brings with it the greatest possibility of pain (the love it also brings is the reason we do it). My son breaks his arm, and goes under general anaesthetic at 4 yrs old. I am strung out with the pain of being with him through this. Do I reconsider my R with him? NO WAY. It's just more complicated. I wish it were so easy. If a R brings more happiness than pain, however deep the pain, we will pursue it. If it ceases to bring us happiness, that is when we should turn around. Guess that's where you are. Just saying, cos for many OW the pleasure still outweighs the pain. And once you have love in the equation, the pain has got to be severe, the happiness flat, for a reconsideration. That's mainly what we are talking about on this forum I reckon. People choose to have kids, and stay by their kids. Even though they know that this brings with it the greatest possibility of pain ..... well I dont think parent-kid's analogy fits here . One's relationship with his/her children is unconditional , but it is not the same with his/her partner .
Author theodora Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 People choose to have kids, and stay by their kids. Even though they know that this brings with it the greatest possibility of pain (the love it also brings is the reason we do it). My son breaks his arm, and goes under general anaesthetic at 4 yrs old. I am strung out with the pain of being with him through this. Do I reconsider my R with him? NO WAY. It's just more complicated. I wish it were so easy. If a R brings more happiness than pain, however deep the pain, we will pursue it. Yes but MM is not family. He is not a child. Of course it's different with family. My point is... it is NOT more complicated than that. It IS that easy. However "deep" the pain? This is exactly my point! I have been suffering over the pain, it felt so DEEP, it really did. And then suddenly I thought WHAT AM I DOING? Why am I "suffering"? I made this happen. In fact, if anything, I suspect that my relationship with this man has been an attempt to AVOID suffering. Someone you can't trust can never really hurt you. Someone who isn't available can't ever be truly won or lost. This relationship is not REAL. HE is not the cause of my pain. My pain is there, it exists. He has become the focus for it, but as to its cause, and as to the solution for its relief, I must look elsewhere. The pain he causes me is not real, because it is chosen. The pain you speak of, the pain of a child breaking his arm and needing to be in hospital - that's exactly what I mean!! That's pain you can't do anything about. You can't ever walk away from that kind of pain. And life will throw it at you, regardless of what you do, how good you are, how well you behave. We will all suffer, that's life. My pain over my MM did not outweigh the happiness. It's just that I finally understood that it is not real. It is chosen. And that made it so much more bearable. Because I can let go of it any time I choose. It's up to me. However, like all epiphanies, I fear this has to be experienced to be understood. And this is what I sense: if you still believe the pain is real, then it is because you still believe the relationship is real. You still believe that factors outside of your control have made it happen: true love, destiny, whatever. As long as you believe the pain is real, the relationship will seem real. And as long as the relationship seems real, so will the pain. I'm no longer going to carry on equating the pain he causes me with any real kind of suffering because I recognise that true suffering comes from an inability to change a situation. And this is a situation I CAN change. However much it doesn't feel like a choice. I must recognise that it IS a choice. It just is. Your child breaking his arm, that's not a choice. You would never ever choose that. You would wish to undo it. You wouldn't seek it out, go back for more, keep going through it again and again. We endure incredible things as human beings, terrible suffering, and we survive. But a sexual intimate relationship - why is that something to "endure and survive"? It shouldn't really be, should it? That just seems more and more odd the more I think about it. I don't know why I keep banging on about it really, because it might not be making any sense. All I know is that understanding that fact has suddenly completely eased my suffering. And so I want to share it
ladydesigner Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Yes but MM is not family. He is not a child. Of course it's different with family. My point is... it is NOT more complicated than that. It IS that easy. However "deep" the pain? This is exactly my point! I have been suffering over the pain, it felt so DEEP, it really did. And then suddenly I thought WHAT AM I DOING? Why am I "suffering"? I made this happen. In fact, if anything, I suspect that my relationship with this man has been an attempt to AVOID suffering. Someone you can't trust can never really hurt you. Someone who isn't available can't ever be truly won or lost. This relationship is not REAL. HE is not the cause of my pain. My pain is there, it exists. He has become the focus for it, but as to its cause, and as to the solution for its relief, I must look elsewhere. The pain he causes me is not real, because it is chosen. The pain you speak of, the pain of a child breaking his arm and needing to be in hospital - that's exactly what I mean!! That's pain you can't do anything about. You can't ever walk away from that kind of pain. And life will throw it at you, regardless of what you do, how good you are, how well you behave. We will all suffer, that's life. My pain over my MM did not outweigh the happiness. It's just that I finally understood that it is not real. It is chosen. And that made it so much more bearable. Because I can let go of it any time I choose. It's up to me. However, like all epiphanies, I fear this has to be experienced to be understood. And this is what I sense: if you still believe the pain is real, then it is because you still believe the relationship is real. You still believe that factors outside of your control have made it happen: true love, destiny, whatever. As long as you believe the pain is real, the relationship will seem real. And as long as the relationship seems real, so will the pain. I'm no longer going to carry on equating the pain he causes me with any real kind of suffering because I recognise that true suffering comes from an inability to change a situation. And this is a situation I CAN change. However much it doesn't feel like a choice. I must recognise that it IS a choice. It just is. Your child breaking his arm, that's not a choice. You would never ever choose that. You would wish to undo it. You wouldn't seek it out, go back for more, keep going through it again and again. We endure incredible things as human beings, terrible suffering, and we survive. But a sexual intimate relationship - why is that something to "endure and survive"? It shouldn't really be, should it? That just seems more and more odd the more I think about it. I don't know why I keep banging on about it really, because it might not be making any sense. All I know is that understanding that fact has suddenly completely eased my suffering. And so I want to share it Wow I wish I had read this upon my ending. It would have saved me almost 2 years of torture. I found this place of indifference on my own, but realize now just how much time I had wasted. C'est la vie!
TaraMaiden Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 My point is... it is NOT more complicated than that. It IS that easy. However "deep" the pain? This is exactly my point! I have been suffering over the pain, it felt so DEEP, it really did. And then suddenly I thought WHAT AM I DOING? Why am I "suffering"? I made this happen. (. . .) I don't know why I keep banging on about it really, because it might not be making any sense. All I know is that understanding that fact has suddenly completely eased my suffering. And so I want to share it I really don't wish to threadjack, or steal your "glory" as it were - But this is completely Buddhist thinking at its very core. The Four Noble Truths are that There is stress/suffering in life. This Stress/suffering is caused by our persistent Clinging/Grasping/Craving. There is a way out of this persistent C/G/C. That way is the means of self-liberation. Furthermore, there are practising Buddhists, who have been devoted to their calling for years, who still don't get this. They know it, understand it and accept it. But they don't 'Realise' it. You have. You have absolutely no idea just how profound and comprehensive your understanding is. Or maybe you have. Either way, it's a heck of an "Ahaaahh!" moment, and I thoroughly commend you for it. This is simply staggering. And staggeringly simple. *deep ghasso to you*.
NoIDidn't Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Yes but MM is not family. He is not a child. Of course it's different with family. My point is... it is NOT more complicated than that. It IS that easy. However "deep" the pain? This is exactly my point! I have been suffering over the pain, it felt so DEEP, it really did. And then suddenly I thought WHAT AM I DOING? Why am I "suffering"? I made this happen. In fact, if anything, I suspect that my relationship with this man has been an attempt to AVOID suffering. Someone you can't trust can never really hurt you. Someone who isn't available can't ever be truly won or lost. This relationship is not REAL. HE is not the cause of my pain. My pain is there, it exists. He has become the focus for it, but as to its cause, and as to the solution for its relief, I must look elsewhere. The pain he causes me is not real, because it is chosen. The pain you speak of, the pain of a child breaking his arm and needing to be in hospital - that's exactly what I mean!! That's pain you can't do anything about. You can't ever walk away from that kind of pain. And life will throw it at you, regardless of what you do, how good you are, how well you behave. We will all suffer, that's life. My pain over my MM did not outweigh the happiness. It's just that I finally understood that it is not real. It is chosen. And that made it so much more bearable. Because I can let go of it any time I choose. It's up to me. However, like all epiphanies, I fear this has to be experienced to be understood. And this is what I sense: if you still believe the pain is real, then it is because you still believe the relationship is real. You still believe that factors outside of your control have made it happen: true love, destiny, whatever. As long as you believe the pain is real, the relationship will seem real. And as long as the relationship seems real, so will the pain. I'm no longer going to carry on equating the pain he causes me with any real kind of suffering because I recognise that true suffering comes from an inability to change a situation. And this is a situation I CAN change. However much it doesn't feel like a choice. I must recognise that it IS a choice. It just is. Your child breaking his arm, that's not a choice. You would never ever choose that. You would wish to undo it. You wouldn't seek it out, go back for more, keep going through it again and again. We endure incredible things as human beings, terrible suffering, and we survive. But a sexual intimate relationship - why is that something to "endure and survive"? It shouldn't really be, should it? That just seems more and more odd the more I think about it. I don't know why I keep banging on about it really, because it might not be making any sense. All I know is that understanding that fact has suddenly completely eased my suffering. And so I want to share it Great post. And while I agree that some will have to experience it to understand, many will experience it and still miss the lesson. I can't imagine even attempting to compare my love for and relationship with my children, part of me, with that of a man that is married to someone else that I've chosen to pursue a R with. For one, I may have chosen to have children, but I didn't choose who they would eventually be. So I agree with everyone that has said the two relationships and the pain from each really aren't comparable. Thanks for sharing this. There are many lurkers here that you may have helped on their path to letting go of the pain as well.
BB07 Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 You have great insight into yourself and your reasons for getting into an affair Theodora. I wish you all the best in your journey.
silverplanets Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Hi everyone I'm going to stop choosing this pain. I swear it. I am. I don't want it to hurt any more. And somehow, the true realisation that I choose it, that I have it because I choose it, it feels like I'm having an epiphany!!! And now instead of feeling sad, I feel extatic! I'd like to agree with the others that this was a great post Theodora ... it sounds like one of those "things will never be the same again" moments :) Raise your expectations. Raise the bar on what and who deserves your love and adoration! .... It's is your life and you are responsible for your happiness. No one else. You! It is all up to you. Spark - I loved the visual of raising the bar ... my only humble amendment would be to extend it from raising the bar on love and adoration to raising the bar on what your expectations of life are .... and then everything else will follow .. I love how your analogy matches to theodora's revelation as well ... once you see life and your own choosing of drama in a differnet life you realise there's a whole new level to live at ... and poor quality married people's drama just fades away like detail on the ground as you take off on a flight :) Theodora, ... Talk about a light-bulb "ahaaaah!" moment! ... Incidentally, this is something I have often told people. That every action is a choice. not always a popular thing to say. It's sometimes drawn hostile and resentful responses. That has never made it any the less true. but coming from "one who knows, and is living it" speaks volumes. Bravo, dearest!! keep it up, hun!! Agree tm. One thing I observe though is that a lot of people (most??), especially in western cultures, don't realise that they have a choice .... it is like they are stuck acting in a script/show and don't realise that they have a choice about following the script .. I've had this discussion lots with people ..... is it that these people don't exercise their choice or that they are blissfully unaware that there is even the concept of choice in this way ??? Begrudgingly (?) admitting great post. But like all eureka moments, there's a catch. I'm not doubting that this is the way to begin thinking for you, but I also realise that it's not so simple. People choose to have kids, and stay by their kids. Even though they know that this brings with it the greatest possibility of pain (the love it also brings is the reason we do it). My son breaks his arm, and goes under general anaesthetic at 4 yrs old. I am strung out with the pain of being with him through this. Do I reconsider my R with him? NO WAY. It's just more complicated. I wish it were so easy. If a R brings more happiness than pain, however deep the pain, we will pursue it. If it ceases to bring us happiness, that is when we should turn around. Guess that's where you are. Just saying, cos for many OW the pleasure still outweighs the pain. And once you have love in the equation, the pain has got to be severe, the happiness flat, for a reconsideration. That's mainly what we are talking about on this forum I reckon. Wheelright, I liked this post ... and my own thoughts/expansions are: a) it really is that simple (although it seems hard to realise that it is that simple) ... i remember a small epiphany moment a long time ago with xMW when she'd sent a drama/hook email and I read it and felt compelled to reply .. then I looked at my daughter who I'd promised to take down the beach and realised I had a simple choice .. if I replied then I was choosing to get caught up in it, more replies would follow, drama etc etc or i could choose not to ... and go down the beach with a clear mind and enjoy the time with my daughter .... I asked myself what I wanted and it was to share the experience with my daughter, so I simply switched the pc off and we went down the beach .... it was the start of me realising that I had a choice about engaging or not .. and that if I did engage then it was by my choice .. no-one could force me to .... b) In terms of the children and broken arms, pain etc .. then yes, this is a pain we choose to "remain in" ... and in many ways is part of the experience of being a real live person .... One can choose to walk away from one's children I suppose... but most of us wouldn't .. and so we choose to "live" that pain .... We're not obliged to (other than from social/peer pressure etc) .. we choose to. There is no obligation on earth to choose to live the up's and downs of someone else's marriage and drama .... if we choose to do so then fine, but it is a definate choice we make ... c) On the statement that for a lot of OW on here the pleasure still outweights the pain then I'd suggest (at the risk of getting slated) that the truth is deeper than this ... the deep truth is that the distraction that the drama of the A is providing them outweighs (by a huge amount) the non-drama of having to sit and accepting responsibility for their own life (past, present and future). I don't think you need the pain to be high and the happiness flat to get a perspective on this .. you just need to realise that you are choosing to keep the drama going ... and then to ask yourself why that is? The truth of being the OW/OM is that you are using them as much as they are using you .. and pretty much for the same purpose ... as a distraction for working on oneself. ... In fact, if anything, I suspect that my relationship with this man has been an attempt to AVOID suffering. Someone you can't trust can never really hurt you. Someone who isn't available can't ever be truly won or lost. This relationship is not REAL. ... My pain over my MM did not outweigh the happiness. It's just that I finally understood that it is not real. It is chosen. And that made it so much more bearable. Because I can let go of it any time I choose. It's up to me. .... First paragraph : OOOHHHH .. this is GOOD ... :) ... and see how quick it comes ... as soon as you detach from the need to make the relationship real then you get to an instant question ... if it wasn't real then why did I keep it going??? I love your honest answer Theodora. Second paragraph: One sad thing is, imho Theodora, that loving someone is about helping them to these epiphanies of life (growth??) in a constructive fashion ... his "love" for you got you there but only because of the pain of it all .... not because of the positivity of it. A healthy relationship would grow you (and them) without the pain ...... He needs to get to his own epiphany if he is to walk into the wonderful awareness that he can be responsible for his own life ... and sadly, as long as you were in the A it was preventing both him (and you) facing your individual barriers to achieve this growth. Have loved this thread ..and hope everything above means sense ... not disagreeing with anyone ... think it's all "spot on "... just adding my brush strokes to the canvas take care Chris I'm with Einstein btw ..."There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle." Our world - that's a miracle Our children - they are miracles People who genuinly help us grow - they are miracles People who stop to help others without thought - they are miracles Married people who need an audience for their drama ... they're just background noise
Author theodora Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Thanks everyone for these amazing replies. I'm so glad to get such a positive response And also to discover I am an accidental Buddhist! Hurrah! I can feel my heart is opening up to maybe meet that special person who will be available to love me as I would hope. I've picked bad ones for so long! Usally not cos they are married, usally just bad boys who don't treat me nice. But nex time I'm going to try and choose from a GOOD place....and maybe meet a man who can be equal and sound. xx
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