melissa123 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 So today marks my one week of NC. I haven't contacted him in anyway, been on his facebook site or stalked him in any other way. The universe did decide to play a cruel trick on me this morning however. I had a dream that he had txtd me last night. The txt said how much he misses me and can't wait to see me again and that everything that had gone one was one big mistake etc. All the pain I felt just lifted. I remember feeling soo happy!!! A feeling I haven't felt in a while Anyway when I woke up I was still fooled, I picked up my phone to excitiedly re-read the txt only to find it wasn't there ... then it hit me that It was all a dream. And boy did that hurt!!! I felt like I had been hit by a truck and this process was right back at the start again It took me a very long time to get out of bed this morning I know today will be a rough day. So from here do I just carry on with this NC thing? I wish I had a magic wand that with one flick would just get him out of my mind. Its tourturing me I can help but re-think everything that went on and beat myself up for it How do I stop beating myself up as im sure its not good for me?!
GrayClouds Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 yes keep on keeping on with NC. Dream of the ex is just the sub-conscience finding a way t let go a bit more, it means your healing, even though it does not feel like it.
Recovery Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Hey melissa, I'm with you. My gf and I broke up 1 week ago, I was devastated. I have been going NC for every since ( 1 week ) and I too have been having dreams about my ex. I had a dream about my ex's mother convincing my ex to come back to me, I'm the perfect man for her, I belong with her. At those moments I remember feeling so happy, like we still had a chance to be together. Then I would wake up... realize that it was just a dream, check my phone for any texts... nothing. I would just get this empty feeling in my stomach and I just usually try to force myself to sleep another hour or two to suppress the pain. It's just something about mornings.... the pain is just so much stronger than during the day. I guess it is my sub-conscious thoughts reflecting the way I feel in a dream. Somewhere inside me I hope that she will come back to me..... something my heart just refuses to let go....
spriggig Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 You stop beating yourself up by recognizing that you were both half responsible for the relationship. You're probably being too hard on yourself, you need to focus your attention on his faults and beat him up a little too, he gets half. You have to balance this, if you get too angry for too long you can become bitter and cynical. But, if you take too much of the blame and leave him up on his pedestal, you'll never heal and move on.
rager Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 First week is the hardest, hang in there you're doing fine! You will get dreams and thoughts, its bound to happen and is all part of the healing process, letting it all go. Just be strong and stay NC.
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