kiss_andmakeup Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I always enjoy when people make a statement like "I know everyone is ALL about SEX these days, but SOME people still like to wait until marriage." As if there's no in-between. You're either ALL about sex, or waiting until marriage. I would never date someone who was waiting for marriage, for a whole host of reasons. They would likely not be someone I would get along with due to religious/political/emotional/social differences. I also think it's foolish to go into a commitment as serious as marriage with no indication of sexual chemistry with a person. However, I agree with Elswyth when she said this doesn't really seem to be your issue, so I'm not really sure what the point of this thread was.
bac Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 (edited) She wasn't rude when she said not to call her because we exchanged a few more texts after that and things were okay. Regardless, I don't want to give up on this one, but I don't know where to go next. I have known a girl who was a virgin for personal reasons. She met a guy who felt in love with her. If you really like the girl, you might want to continue date her. The way to go is to build a serious relationship and rapport. It takes time. It is some kind of friendszone. Forget about BJs but first build rapport and relationship. You should have some common ground and common interests to build the relationship. Truthfully, it is a perfect situation to do that if you want to get married someday. People rare have a situation like that because it is too perfect and most people are not so fortunate. Most people think about sex or see finding a wife as a shopping adventure for a hot deal. Neither sex nor the shopping attitude can build a LTR or marriage. Another thing is that you do not have job. The girl is looking for a husband as a big picture. My advice is to have dates for free and do not accept her to pay for anything. It does not work well with most girls brains. As for building a relationship, you might want to educate yourself on the subject. Read books about NLP and emotional intelligence. Edited July 11, 2010 by bac
linwood Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 So, how do things work when dating someone like this? They generally don`t work out. Withholding sex for marriage is an instant deal breaker for me. I`d simply move on as the person withholding obviously has hang up`s that directly impact my quality of life.
Curious-One Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 how old are you. it all depends on if the girl is worth waiting for imo
sally4sara Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I think it depends a lot on the person enforcing the abstinence and their goal. If they just want to make sure that they only sleep with someone who truly knows them and values them - great! Would that more people gave a damn for this. But then there are those holding out because of the leverage it provides. Or those that have a dislike for physical interaction. These are the con artists of sex. You marry the person only to find they still use sex to get what they want. Or they never become physically giving even after marriage - and now you're stuck to them and a sexless marriage.
jakinbandw Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I don't think you know what technical virgin means. Technical virgins are girls that take it up the butt because intact hymen = virginity. I donno, that's what I have been calling myself, but a glance at the urban dictionary says I am wrong. Hmm... I have gotten and given head, but no more than that. Does that mean I am a straight up virgin, or not a virgin? I haven't had anal sex so it may mean that I am a virgin. Hmm...
Author Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Thanks for the responses everyone. No, this girl being a virgin until marriage is not the issue really, but I was curious about it. As I said, the whole point of dating these days seems to get some and then later on if you decide you like someone then you marry them. I was just wondering what the different dynamics were when in a relationship where the goal isn't sex but building a relationship right from the start. As I said already, I'm 26 years old and a virgin myself. I'm not religious and don't plan on waiting until marriage if I don't have to. If I met and dated someone that I really liked and they wanted to have sex, I would jump at the opportunity. If I met someone else that I really liked and she wanted to wait until marriage, I would have to think it over for awhile and if it turns out she is someone that I would want to marry then I have no problem waiting out of respect for her. I have a desire to have sex, but it's not a need nor a priority for me at this point. I brought up my other issues because they relate to the same girl that I is/was talking to who is a virgin. Basically I have a lot of issues that I need to work out and I was looking for some advice.
Els Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I don't think much of the dynamic changes except, obviously, the sexual dynamic.
Disillusioned Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I'm not religious at all, and I'm a man who doesn't believe in extramarital sex. IMO it's just too damn risky. Sure, I play with power tools... but not with the chance of picking up a virus which may give me prostate cancer or get me whammed with a paternity suit. I won't dare doubt there are plenty of people out there who think it's worth it, though...
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