Men Adopting Female Behaviours

[gamma1]

They don't want to hear it. That's why proverbial "nice guys" get left behind and women won't tell them why. Too much drama and angst.

Nice guys get left behind because most women prefer agressive men who want kisses and sex before they really know the person. These men make up wild stories about nice guys which many women buy. Sure there are exceptions, but not enough.

 

I mostly blame other men.

[Gero]

The same can be said for women adopting male behaviors.

 

The problem these days is that people are struggling to find their place in society.

 

As I said before, who's to say what a specific gender's role is anyway? A long time ago it was perfectly acceptable for women to stay at home and keep house while the man worked. Now times have changed.

 

Some people welcome the change, others reject it and others struggle to understand it.

 

The point is that not everyone is going to live up to what you believe in your mind should be their role. Don't hate on someone just because they have different beliefs and values in life.

 

Once again as I said before, the qualities listed by the OP are not gender specific issues but issues that would be undesirable in either gender.

[threebyfate]

If we still had Pharoahs, they wouldn't have to castrate to find their eunuchs.

[sally4sara]

Can you elaborate on this? I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this.

 

Well you get these supposed "nice guys" and they say they keep getting friend zoned. But they were not trying to be anyone's friend. Its a dishonest attempt, smells like skunk, and hella obvious.

 

Then you get the guys who already BTDT but dishonest in their friendship. Then then decide being friends with women is the kiss of death. A decision made based on a fake premise; they never really tried and simply don't see women as people so how can they BE a friend? Their decision to actively not be a woman's friend is the same thing they were doing before only with a bitter attitude.

 

If women now being able to not need to be taken care of is the same as them acting like men - is that not evolving to a more useful person? Okay fine, then they are acting like men. It doesn't mean men need to be uber men. It just means men have to accept a person who is capable of being their equal will expect to be treated as an equal.

 

Also, perhaps getting laid should not be a man's goal out of the gate unless he is just after sex and willing to speak to that? If you want a good relationship - look for real compatibilities to who you are not simply that there be a vagina to poke. If a chic can respect your genuine interest in knowing what she is about - EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

Does she expect you to pay for everything and you think thats unfair? EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

Does she only respond to you being in a twist and crappy to her all the time even when you'd like to just enjoy her company? EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

 

Men can set the standards they expect women to live up to just as easily as women do if they stop acting like junkies enslaved by the possibility of getting their next fix (sex).

[Woggle]

The same can be said for women adopting male behaviors.

 

Very true. If women want men to be men again they need to learn hot to be women again. It is as simple as that. The modern day ballbusters do not inspire the gentlemenly instinct in men women in the past did.

 

Women demanded the world that we live in today and now that they have it they are still miserable. Some women remind of that kid who screams and causes a scene in a toy store and when they finally get what they want they break it and lose interest within a week. They are never satisfied and the same can be said for many women.

 

Also men in the past had plenty of good role models. When I look at any family oriented and community oriented culture I see generations of men teaching men. You have boys that want to emulate their old man when nowadays he isn't even around and if he is his life is anything but an example. I have spent most of my life trying not to be father.

[sally4sara]

Also men in the past had plenty of good role models. When I look at any family oriented and community oriented culture I see generations of men teaching men. You have boys that want to emulate their old man when nowadays he isn't even around and if he is his life is anything but an example. I have spent most of my life trying not to be father.

 

They didn't teach men how to have happy relationships. They simply advised them how to be productive people in a time where women kept their mouth shut about any unhappiness they experienced.

 

What was the result? The feminist movement.

[gamma1]

Well you get these supposed "nice guys" and they say they keep getting friend zoned. But they were not trying to be anyone's friend. Its a dishonest attempt, smells like skunk, and hella obvious.

I don't agree with that. They want to a relationship with the woman rather than just sex. A huge part of a relationship is friendship.

[threebyfate]

We know what they are because women like you tell us what they are all time...

 

And I personally think feminism is a great thing, but this is just one of it's negative side effects. Men are going through a transition phase right now, and need to come to terms with whatever our contemporary gender roles are.

According to some, women don't tell them enough, so that's why I'm doing so.

 

I think where military Feminism failed is they tried to make men, women and this generation is the result of such. They taught men to be in touch with their inner feelings but didn't take into account that they lacked the genetic tools to rein in and handle those feelings.

[kdark]

Well you get these supposed "nice guys" and they say they keep getting friend zoned. But they were not trying to be anyone's friend. Its a dishonest attempt, smells like skunk, and hella obvious.

 

Then you get the guys who already BTDT but dishonest in their friendship. Then then decide being friends with women is the kiss of death. A decision made based on a fake premise; they never really tried and simply don't see women as people so how can they BE a friend? Their decision to actively not be a woman's friend is the same thing they were doing before only with a bitter attitude.

 

If women now being able to not need to be taken care of is the same as them acting like men - is that not evolving to a more useful person? Okay fine, then they are acting like men. It doesn't mean men need to be uber men. It just means men have to accept a person who is capable of being their equal will expect to be treated as an equal.

 

Also, perhaps getting laid should not be a man's goal out of the gate unless he is just after sex and willing to speak to that? If you want a good relationship - look for real compatibilities to who you are not simply that there be a vagina to poke. If a chic can respect your genuine interest in knowing what she is about - EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

Does she expect you to pay for everything and you think thats unfair? EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

Does she only respond to you being in a twist and crappy to her all the time even when you'd like to just enjoy her company? EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

 

Men can set the standards they expect women to live up to just as easily as women do if they stop acting like junkies enslaved by the possibility of getting their next fix (sex).

 

Good post. Spot on sally.

[Woggle]

They didn't teach men how to have happy relationships. They simply advised them how to be productive people in a time where women kept their mouth shut about any unhappiness they experienced.

 

What was the result? The feminist movement.

 

You don't know anything about these men. I know many old school type of families who are still like this and these men have productive lives and happy marriages that last. Why do you think that immigrants are coming over to this country and kicking our butts? Do you ever notice that many doctors these days are indian and asian? Look at how many businesses are owned by immigrants as well. It is because they have a family and community oriented culture that nurtures people for tommorow while the rest of us have an everybody for themselves mentality.

[CLC2008]

Very true. If women want men to be men again they need to learn hot to be women again. It is as simple as that. The modern day ballbusters do not inspire the gentlemenly instinct in men women in the past did.

 

Women demanded the world that we live in today and now that they have it they are still miserable. Some women remind of that kid who screams and causes a scene in a toy store and when they finally get what they want they break it and lose interest within a week. They are never satisfied and the same can be said for many women.

 

Also men in the past had plenty of good role models. When I look at any family oriented and community oriented culture I see generations of men teaching men. You have boys that want to emulate their old man when nowadays he isn't even around and if he is his life is anything but an example. I have spent most of my life trying not to be father.

 

I only "partially" agree with you.

 

In any event, people evolve. It's nature's way of survival and it's universal.

[Gero]

Well you get these supposed "nice guys" and they say they keep getting friend zoned. But they were not trying to be anyone's friend. Its a dishonest attempt, smells like skunk, and hella obvious.

 

Then you get the guys who already BTDT but dishonest in their friendship. Then then decide being friends with women is the kiss of death. A decision made based on a fake premise; they never really tried and simply don't see women as people so how can they BE a friend? Their decision to actively not be a woman's friend is the same thing they were doing before only with a bitter attitude.

 

Well, it's tough with a lot of men because even after getting rejected by someone who just wants to be friends, the attraction to that girl rarely goes away. They are under the assumption that if they are a girl's friend that they will never have a chance to be more and thus they bail out to avoid the pain. I'm not saying this is the most noble thing but it's understandable to not want to torture yourself with unrequited love or whatever. The problem is that if you accept friendship with a woman that you have feelings for then you are looked down upon by other men. It's dumb but it's just the way things are at times.

 

As for myself, I struggle to accept friendship when I have feelings for a girl, but if she is someone that I truly respect and admire as a person I deal with it and be there for her as a friend. That's just me.

 

If women now being able to not need to be taken care of is the same as them acting like men - is that not evolving to a more useful person? Okay fine, then they are acting like men. It doesn't mean men need to be uber men. It just means men have to accept a person who is capable of being their equal will expect to be treated as an equal.

 

This is fine, but from a male perspective there is a lot of shoving this in the face of men by some women out there. Some women don't have the attitude of being equal with men but instead act as if they don't need a man at all and that they are better than men in general. Some people can deal with this and other people get insecure about this.

 

Also, perhaps getting laid should not be a man's goal out of the gate unless he is just after sex and willing to speak to that? If you want a good relationship - look for real compatibilities to who you are not simply that there be a vagina to poke. If a chic can respect your genuine interest in knowing what she is about - EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

Does she expect you to pay for everything and you think thats unfair? EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

Does she only respond to you being in a twist and crappy to her all the time even when you'd like to just enjoy her company? EFF HER! She isn't worth your time.

 

Men can set the standards they expect women to live up to just as easily as women do if they stop acting like junkies enslaved by the possibility of getting their next fix (sex).

 

I guess I don't totally relate to everything here because I am not a typical male as some would state. Sex is not my top priority and I respect people that deserve respect regardless of gender.

[Woggle]

I agree that people evolve but it seems that women are the only ones allowed to do so. Men have to stay when men always were or god help us. It cracks me up when I hear some ballbusting woman who doesn't have a feminine bone in her body whining about how she wants an alpha-male. Men who have the luxery if being choosy usually do not choose women like that but ask them to make any changes and you get called sexist and patriarchal.

[kdark]

According to some, women don't tell them enough, so that's why I'm doing so.

 

I think where military Feminism failed is they tried to make men, women and this generation is the result of such. They taught men to be in touch with their inner feelings but didn't take into account that they lacked the genetic tools to rein in and handle those feelings.

 

They may not be told by women, but deep down, guys know. They are just too chicken sh*t to do anything about it.

 

And I agree that men trying to in touch with our inner feelings and be like women is causing this out pour of frustrated men with no success with women. But it isn't because we lack the genetic tools to handle the feelings. It's because we lack the social tools to handle those emotions. Men can't crying to dad and pour out his feelings, he'll get slapped in the face. Or he'll get beat up by his friends. If men had the proper support structures we could handle them.

 

It's just hard for men to come to terms with being told by women to be more sensitive, while at the same time still being told by men to toughen and don't be a pussy.

[Gero]

while at the same time still being told by men to toughen and don't be a pussy.

 

...and also told the same thing by some women.

[Woggle]

...and also told the same thing by some women.

 

Then having the same women get mad at them for being so emotionally closed.

[threebyfate]

They may not be told by women, but deep down, guys know. They are just too chicken sh*t to do anything about it.

 

And I agree that men trying to in touch with our inner feelings and be like women is causing this out pour of frustrated men with no success with women. But it isn't because we lack the genetic tools to handle the feelings. It's because we lack the social tools to handle those emotions. Men can't crying to dad and pour out his feelings, he'll get slapped in the face. Or he'll get beat up by his friends. If men had the proper support structures we could handle them.

 

It's just hard for men to come to terms with being told by women to be more sensitive, while at the same time still being told by men to toughen and don't be a pussy.

The difficulty is that having the social outlet won't change their success with women. Take a look at LS. It's a support network and the last couple of years, we've had A LOT of nice guy threads. I'm not seeing too many of these guys with any success with women. Rather than using the support to enable what's deemed to be unattractive, wouldn't it make more sense to listen to what women and other men are saying?

 

As for women telling men to be more sensitive and men telling men to man up, these are age-old issues occurring before Feminism, so you can't lay this at the Feminist doorstep.

 

I look at my husband and he doesn't display these feminine behaviours. Not once have I ever told him to be more sensitive. He is who he is, so I accept him "as is".

[kdark]

...and also told the same thing by some women.

 

I was referring to a younger age. But if a boy doesn't have a strong male to look up to, he may turn into a doormat "nice guy" and get told when he starts dating to stop being a pussy.

 

My dad is the biggest pussy I know, and my brother is homosexual. Needless to say I had poor male role models as a kid. It took a lot of self reflection and learning to get to where I am now.

[Woggle]

My dad when married to my mother was one of the wimpiest men I have ever seen and I figure if I do the opposite of what he did I should be okay.

[silverfish]

I was referring to a younger age. But if a boy doesn't have a strong male to look up to, he may turn into a doormat "nice guy" and get told when he starts dating to stop being a pussy.

 

My dad is the biggest pussy I know, and my brother is homosexual. Needless to say I had poor male role models as a kid. It took a lot of self reflection and learning to get to where I am now.

 

Yet, a lot of youth crime is blamed on single parenting. You should probably reflect a hell of a lot more if you think your brother's homosexuality is your Dad's fault.

[Gero]

My dad when married to my mother was one of the wimpiest men I have ever seen and I figure if I do the opposite of what he did I should be okay.

 

My dad cheated on my mom when I was young and they got divorced when I was 5 or 6. Then my mom was with a man who was physically and mentally abusive to my brother and me up until I was 12. Then I chose to move in with my aunt for a bit which wasn't too bad. Then I got back with my mom when she left the abusive guy and got with a guy that had a ton of money. He was rarely around and never talked to us. Eventually he started some crap with me and slapped me in the face. I roughed him up and then I was basically disowned and cast out by my family because everyone blamed me. Things haven't been the same since.

[kdark]

The difficulty is that having the social outlet won't change their success with women. Take a look at LS. It's a support network and the last couple of years, we've had A LOT of nice guy threads. I'm not seeing too many of these guys with any success with women. Rather than using the support to enable what's deemed to be unattractive, wouldn't it make more sense to listen to what women and other men are saying?

 

As for women telling men to be more sensitive and men telling men to man up, these are age-old issues occurring before Feminism, so you can't lay this at the Feminist doorstep.

 

I look at my husband and he doesn't display these feminine behaviours. Not once have I ever told him to be more sensitive. He is who he is, so I accept him "as is".

 

Like I said before, these men are just too afraid to do something about it. Just telling them what to do isn't enough for them. For whatever reason they won't change. LS isn't going to change them, but it may push them in the right direction to get whatever help they need.

[kdark]

Yet, a lot of youth crime is blamed on single parenting. You should probably reflect a hell of a lot more if you think your brother's homosexuality is your Dad's fault.

 

Wow. Where did I say I blamed my dad for my brother being gay?

[Gero]

Like I said before, these men are just too afraid to do something about it. Just telling them what to do isn't enough for them. For whatever reason they won't change. LS isn't going to change them, but it may push them in the right direction to get whatever help they need.

 

I think a lot of these guys don't have success for the following reason:

 

They have an all-or-nothing personality. They see themselves and not worthy of love and affection because of past issues and experience and thus if and when they do change to what society determines is a better archetype of a male they actually go overboard and become just as unattractive to the opposite sex.

[silverfish]

I was referring to a younger age. But if a boy doesn't have a strong male to look up to, he may turn into a doormat "nice guy" and get told when he starts dating to stop being a pussy.

 

My dad is the biggest pussy I know, and my brother is homosexual. Needless to say I had poor male role models as a kid. It took a lot of self reflection and learning to get to where I am now.

 

The bolded part. That's how it came across and you went on to say you had 'poor male role models..' etc. If I heard that from a man I was dating it would massively turn me off