DramaQueen8889 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 This is my first time posting here but I'm so glad I found it. So on the 27th of June my boyfriend and myself went on a break for 3 months. I didnt wanna go on the break but he did, so I said ok if this saves our relationship. To me nothing is wrong with our relationship but he said he doesnt feel the same way as me. So I told him no dating on our break, you can go out with friends but not any other girls since I would be easier for me. He said He doesnt know if he could do that. I said try for me. This man knows I love him so much, but I dont know if this break would work? I dont even know why he brought it up to me. This is second time he told me this stuff too. So its been almost two weeks now and he said he's going out tomorrow. I'm freaking out thinking it's a date. My heart cant handle him dating other women where technailly he is still with me. I dont know if dating during a break is a good thing or bad thing. It would feel like cheating to me.
Ella whispers Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 If you're "technically" on a break he can technically" see other people. He didn't promise that he wouldn't. Hopefully he will see that the grass isn't greener that's about it. Good luck to you.
Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I'm assuming you both are kinda young ? You are empowering his behaver by letting him do this stuff. If you DONT want a boyfriend that acts that way then DUMP him. DO NOT try to change who he is. You NEED to find someone that sees eye to eye with what YOU want. Did you notice that he wants a break right when summer hits ? .
Author DramaQueen8889 Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 I'm not trying to change who he is, i like the way he is and now I never noitced him asking for a break right when summer hits.
Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 How old are both of you ? Do you think its normal that a bf and gf take a break from each other ?
JennaLee Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It sounds to me like he wants to keep you on the side in case whatever he is after doesn't work out.
Author DramaQueen8889 Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 I'm 20, hes 21 And I do think its normal maybe a few days without each other but 3 months seems too long to me.
2sunny Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 a break is the same as a break up. this means you do your thing and he does his. you laid out YOUR plan... he never agreed, thus - the reason why he will do what he wants- when he wants to. get busy doing your own thing. he laid it out so he has the whole summer to ignore you - and pay attention to anyone he wants. you need to do the same.
Unah08 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 you're in a tough situation dear, cause you don't know how to react when this kind of situation arises. If that is what you feel, just try talking it out with your guy, even though your far apart that doesn't mean he can fool around with someone now, cause I'm assuming your break-up is temporary, right?. You better set limits tell him what you feel about it and ask about what he thinks and feels too. And ask him if its really a date, maybe you're just jumping on the wrong assumptions. So goodluck, i guess... "Discover how I got my ex back and never have to worry about relationship problems ever again: http://www.payzeno.com/a/yourid/19"
Diezel Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Break... Space. Both mean, I'll see you in a few months in case something better doesn't come along in the summer. If you want to tell someone to NOT date other people, find yourself another boyfriend and once you're exclusive (NO BREAKS), it'll be implied.
Author DramaQueen8889 Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Well my guy has told me we're not breaking up, just spending time apart but he did say that he likes when other look at him. Like I said earlier I asked him not to date on this break and he said he didnt know if he could. Also he told me he doesnt want me to be the only girl he dates in his life. And yes, the "Break" is only temporary
JennaLee Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Well my guy has told me we're not breaking up, just spending time apart but he did say that he likes when other look at him. Like I said earlier I asked him not to date on this break and he said he didnt know if he could. Also he told me he doesnt want me to be the only girl he dates in his life. And yes, the "Break" is only temporary So, it's okay that your "boyfriend" told you that you're not the only girl he wants to date in his life?
Author DramaQueen8889 Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 He told me he wants to date other people in life. I'm thinking ok what if something happens to us,then you can date other people. And no its not ok that he even told me that. Im his 4th girlfriend and first real relationship.
lesoiseaux Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Hi DramaQueen, I don't post here all too often, but having been a situation pretty similar to yours I have to urge you on to LET HIM GO. I'm basically your age (21) and I went through this with my ex-bf of 2.5 years. 2.5 years wasted, essentially. We were each other's first relationships. Your bf wants to date other girls in his lifetime? It's his right. Mine did too. But this just means that you two will break up eventually. There's no avoiding that fact. So why do you want to prolong something with someone who clearly does not want the same things you do? A relationship should not need a "break." Me and my ex went on a break, during which time we never really established any rules except that we wouldn't have sex or see other people. Of course, during that break it was his birthday so I caved on the former. It was incredibly stupid. And after that, we were still on a break. What's the purpose of a break? Theoretically to get space, to explore your options, to be on your own AWAY from the relationship. That's what a break-up is. Having experienced a "break," I've discovered that it doesn't help anyone...usually one person wants to date around, while the other person clings on and spends the entire break still completely hung up on and preoccupied with their SO (who, in fact, is not their SO). Who wants to be in that position? And now, having experienced an actual break-up, I've discovered that THAT is the only way to deal with these kinds of situations. Your bf wants some time off from you? Seriously? Is that fair? Really, if that's how he feels, he shouldn't be able to have ANY of you. You can better use your time working on yourself and seeing other people who actually WANT to be with you. Long story short: There were many signs in my last relationship that pointed, in neon-colored lights, to a BREAK-UP. But I ignored EVERY. SINGLE. SIGN (one of which was the ridiculous "I think we need a break...") and proceeded to spend the next 2 years with someone who never loved me, who knew he would never love me, and who knew he wanted to date other people eventually. Please, don't waste your time! I have been there and have come out triumphant on the other side. You are worth so much more, and you can get so much more out of life than a boyfriend who only wants to be with you some of the time.
Author DramaQueen8889 Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Thanks that is very good advice but part of me wants to be with him since I love and care so much about him and the other half wants me to break it off compltely with him. He has changed in these last couple months.
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