I have one messed up situation

[arock0627]

Ok, so, despite having some great times with this girl over the past year, I've run into some problems which haven't exactly been...well...good.

 

Some background:

 

She has 3 kids from 2 different dads. The first kids father ended up committing suicide in 2005, and the medical records state it was induced by a reaction to bee sting antivenom and alcohol. Apparently he had a history of these things. The 2nd father was never the husband, they went out for 2 years and had 2 kids. She is currently in a child support battle for the kids with the father, whose own father is an abusive bleep and has a criminal record for 2nd degree rape.

 

The suicide thing still runs her life. She won't watch shows or listen to music that have anything to do with it. She still keeps a lot of mementos of her husband around the house. Lately its been financially difficult for her and I suggested selling the old hunting bow her husband has. She's not big on parting with it. I feel like I'm still sharing her with him, even though he's been gone for 5 years.

 

I've caught her lying on more than one occasion, for small things and big things. Little things like who cut her kids hair (She told me it was her, she told her friend it was her mom), who is the primary account holder on the cell phone plan she shares with her parents (Her mother has said that she (the mother) is, but my girlfriend has said it was hers). Little dumb things.

 

A while back, I ended up passing out in my room on base (I'm in the military). Apparently she loaded up the kids and drove by my barracks looking to confirm. A few months later I saw her pull into the restaurant across from my work, ordered nothing, paused at the exit for a minute, and then left.

 

She constantly guilt trips. Last night I decided I was gonna go catch a movie with some of the guys from work, and when I told her I was gonna be over late (I didn't even get to where I was goin), she immediately said she was just going to throw dinner out. Now, she had texted me 40 minutes prior about not knowing what side dishes to make with dinner, but nothing since. She responded directly to the text with "Well I'm just gonna throw it out, then", and then claimed it had nothing to do with me being over late. If I'm worn out and too tired for sex (12 hour workdays can do that to ya!), she'll get upset and snarky. I offered to buy dinner last weekend and her response was "OH LOOK AT MR. MONEYBAGS, TELL HIM KIDS, WHAT DO YA WANT?"

 

One of her friends is currently in a relationship with a guy who has paid off a house with money gained by illegal means, and just recently spent time in the slammer for something or other.

 

You know... in retrospect and on reading this, I think I may have to end this relationship. At least, thats how I'm leaning with it.

 

Am I overreacting?

[arock0627]

Oh, I've forgot:

 

She's always, and I mean always worried I'm going to leave her. If I'm in the middle of something, she starts freaking out.

 

After the movie last night I ended up passed out in my room on base unintentionally. I had a really rough day, and my body had just had enough. I wake up to find out she hadn't even gone to sleep and was freaking out.

 

Now I understand if I was missing and nobody had heard from me, but I'm a full grown man, trained in the uniformed services, and I've even survived a 4 week period of living in the streets. I don't want to outright tell her I'm not one of her children, but I don't know what to do.

 

When we first started dating, she would recall how she wrecked the apartment of the boyfriend she caught cheating on her, and has had nothing good to say about any of her ex's.

 

Of all my relationships, none of the others have had so many good times mixed with extraordinarily bad times.

[Serenitynow]

Do you really need someone on here to twist your arm ?

[arock0627]

As bad as I thought.

 

I've been in a lot of relationships, but never one with a single mom.

 

Ungh this is gonna suck...