Disillusioned Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 FUN is a very subjective term indeed. One big reason why I think I'm going to die alone is because my idea of FUN is different from what most women consider FUN. Making things, fixing thing, doing creative stuff, going for long walks around local places like the hills or the beach... those are fun to me. Costume parties and potlucks are about half fun to me. Drinking, dancing, knock-yourself-out athletic activities, or high-risk things like snowboarding or skydiving are just not fun to me because they feel shallow. And yet, in the 20 or so speed dating toots I've been to, as many as half of the women I met there were fun-oriented... like teenagers. To me, FUN is a journey, not a destination.
robdrm32 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 For some people the word fun infers excitement, for others enjoyment. I consider playing basketball fun because its exciting and I enjoy it. I wouldn't consider reading a book "fun" because its not exciting, i just enjoy it. So when someone asks "what do you do for fun?" its basically saying what do you do that's exciting? and wtf is a potluck? If you meet someone who is fun oriented, i.e. going out dancing, to bars, parties every weekend etc. then you probably aren't going to match well because they may find enjoyment in doing the things you like to do, but in their minds they won't be having "fun" with you.
Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I understand what you mean. And when women say they want a fun guy, I think they mostly mean they want a guy with ideas, things to do, places to take them. Women for the most part want the guy to act almost like a host/tour guide when dating starts. They like the guy to seem like he is up on knowing good places to hang out, places that are exciting. I wish it was more 50/50 , but our society deems it more of the guys job to do the planning, especially with a fresh relationship. .
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Making things, fixing thing, doing creative stuff, going for long walks around local places like the hills or the beach... those are fun to me. same here I use to build remote control cars for fun I love art and walking aimlesy around places even if ive been to them before. People like us are just wired a little diffrent and tend to be geared towards the creative side of life that said it takes more then a cheap thrill to intrest us theres hope for you maybe your just looking to hard in the wrong places? I dunno.. and wtf is a potluck? Its basically a dinner party were every one shows up with a mystery dish .
Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 People like us are just wired a little diffrent and tend to be geared towards the creative side of life that said it takes more then a cheap thrill to intrest us That pretty much sums it up for me. I know I am definitely wired different. I hate reality shows I dont watch anything on the 3 major tv networks I can watch shows about science and astronomy over and over I dont listen to top 40 I could care less about having the "new cool" cell phone I dont drink coffee I dont feel the urge to break the silence when riding in an elevator with a stranger I dont believe in God I do believe we are no better or special than any other living thing on this planet I like to people watch And the biggest thing that separates me from the group, I dont play games when dating
Author Disillusioned Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 Take the travel fetish for instance. (Yes, I dropped the F-word!) I had an aunt who had it BAD. She had to see Honyockland; she had to see B.F. Egypt; she had to see Timbuktu; she had to see Outer Mongolia. If they had private flights to Mars, she'd have to go there too. She'd start clawing down the wallpaper if she stayed home for more than a month. Now me, I like to spend the occasional weekend in the desert or a day in the mountains or at the beach when I can... I'd feel just as lonely in someone else's country as I can in my own neighborhood. I wouldn't enjoy seeing the wonders of the world, and people are the same wherever you go.
vestigalvirgin Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 My idea of "fun" with a girl: Having sex, then something to eat, most likely cold pizza from last night, along with a good beer. Then watching a good movie/DVD while she cleans up the mess and brings me another beer, and otherwise services my every need. EVERYTHING ELSE that you are describing can all be categorized as "foreplay" of one form or another. If I ACTUALLY wanted to do any of the things you're describing, WHY ON EARTH would I want to do it with a WOMAN rather than by myself or with a (male) peer? If I want to go on a hike, why with a girlfriend? Either she can't keep up with me, which is a drag; or she's BETTER at it than me, also a drag. If I want to hike, the hiking is the point, not the girl. DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK that men want to socialize with women other than as a necessary condition to having sex with them? If I am out with a girl, doing whatever it is, then I am not thinking about the activity. I am actually thinking about how/whether/if the activity can segue into sex. I'm sure all guys are pretty much the same. I have NO IDEA what girls actually think about when they are engaging in these "courting rituals" with men. I assume they are waiting for the man to figure out a successful strategy as to how to f*ck them.
vestigalvirgin Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I understand what you mean. And when women say they want a fun guy, I think they mostly mean they want a guy with ideas, things to do, places to take them. Not exactly. I think when women say they want a "fun" guy, they're not talking about activities. They're talking about how the guy makes them feel. If the guy can make them feel like they're having fun, which translates to some degree of sexual electricity being generated, the particular activity is irrelevant. Which is why a "nice guy" can spend all kinds of money on a woman doing all kinds of things and not get anywhere; but a "bad boy" can spend nothing on her, flirt and tease her, get her sexually amped up, and he is considered a very "fun" guy. Women for the most part want the guy to act almost like a host/tour guide when dating starts. Yes but the destination has to be into the guy or girl's bedroom. That's because a girl is not generally going to admit that's where she wants to go, the guy has to make it be so. They like the guy to seem like he is up on knowing good places to hang out, places that are exciting. Again it has nothing to do with the place or the activity. It has to do with being able to establish some kind of sexual connection and making the girl FEEL a certain way. That's why really elaborate and carefully planned dates can fall flat on their faces. And it's also why "romance" can start almost at random and unexpectedly. This is what the chicks mean when they say they want someone who is "spontaneous." Elaborate complex date plans are very subject to not living up to expectations and let downs. The simpler, the better. If it's going to click then it will click, if not, nothing you can do will make a difference. I wish it was more 50/50 , but our society deems it more of the guys job to do the planning, especially with a fresh relationship. . Drinks, dinner, my place or yours? How complicated does it need to be?
sdsdsd Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Not exactly. I think when women say they want a "fun" guy, they're not talking about activities. They're talking about how the guy makes them feel. If the guy can make them feel like they're having fun, which translates to some degree of sexual electricity being generated, the particular activity is irrelevant. Which is why a "nice guy" can spend all kinds of money on a woman doing all kinds of things and not get anywhere; but a "bad boy" can spend nothing on her, flirt and tease her, get her sexually amped up, and he is considered a very "fun" guy. So it's not all about knowing a great place, or knowing the barman, or doing an exciting/different activity etc? It’s all about how the guy interacts with them? What about dates in movies/tv shows that seem to involve a montage of the guy goofing around, showing her some new activity she has never done, him “knowing” people etc. Should we aim to emulate these? I’m just asking as I’m terrible on dates, I don’t manage to do any of this stuff yet, I can mostly get her laughing. I leave knowing she probably wouldn’t say she had “fun” on the date, even though we both laughed a lot. I know something is missing!
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