PlumPudding Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Hey, I kinda need some help here! (by the way we're both 20) My ex of 9 months broke up with me last Monday--on facebook chat. (the 5th). He said he didn't think I was a part of his "dream life." The thing is, though, I do know he cares(d) for me a lot, and he's told me before that I'm his longest relationship besides one that was very unhealthy for him. Most of his lasted only a month. And someone told me that a week before he broke up with me he was crying because I was like his best friend and that he just didn't know what to do because I wasn't a part of that "dream." Well it's only Saturday and he's already chasing after another girl . . . is this a rebound or is it just that he gets over things lightning-speed? I mean, personally, my life has actually been more awesome after the break up just because I'm not worried anymore, because he only talked to me like for 2 seconds every other day. But he even said we had a bond and connection he'd never felt before. and the only reason he started doubting me because of the long distance--he even admitted that if it wasn't for long distance we'd still be together, but that he can't reverse the damage. If anyone has any advice that'd be great! On what to do, or anything. No contact is easy, but hard to endure because he didn't really contact me much IN the relationship. Do the same rules apply?? Help is much needed!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 It sounds like he is out for fun right now, rather than intending to jump into a relationship with anyone. Regardless of what it is - it sounds like you are better off.
spyyder Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 (edited) It is GREAT that you actually feel your better off without him. Thats a sign that you actually are! You say that you barely talked during the relationship, so do you really think it was that serious? Most people on LS talked with their exs 4+ times a day every day for years and years, which is why its hard for us to go NC. I know its ****ing hard for me. He must have a weird 'dream life' if he needs to break up with you to achieve it...was his dream having a big house with kids and a BLONDE wife....and your a BRUNETTE?!?!?!?! OH NO you gotsta go. LOL. I think that if his reason is THAT bad, and your relationship didn't have much communication, and he's already chasing another girl then do yourself a favor and forget him! If anyone really loves someone, AND has a dream life in mind, they would change the dream life to include you. He's so selfish that he didn't even bother to try to include you in his 'dream life'. Personally I love my ex so much that my dream life is based around/with her...she was the dream life. If he's really chasing another girl it means he's over you, probably was never really that into you. You don't chase other girls after a breakup, unless you didn't care much for your ex, or was into that girl before. He broke up with you on facebook chat??? WTF...not even a call? Oh no wait...you said that you guys didn't talk by voice much. Same rules do apply for you, but luckily for you they will be very easy to follow. However do not go NC and try to get back with him later. That guy is really bad for you. I'm just glad that it'll be far far far easier for you than others on LC. Edited July 12, 2010 by spyyder
Author PlumPudding Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 It is GREAT that you actually feel your better off without him. Thats a sign that you actually are! You say that you barely talked during the relationship, so do you really think it was that serious? Haha, I know, that actually this break up REALLY WAS for the best. I truly believe that. Well . . . right now of course (that thought needs to move on though . . .) And I, ah, was having dinner with my ex's mother a couple days before the break up and SHE was worried about me and brought up the fact he hardly contacts me and said he hasn't had contact with ANY of his friends (besides the band he's in) at all the whole summer; his brain has been engulfed totally in work. But still, my thoughts on that are kind of muggy. I honestly think we both were facing troubles in our lives and it was drifting us apart . . . If anyone really loves someone, AND has a dream life in mind, they would change the dream life to include you. He's so selfish that he didn't even bother to try to include you in his 'dream life'. YES!! This is what really angers me the most. It's my thoughts exactly!! And it's probably another reason why I'm accepting the break up so fast . . . And I get what you mean about him going after another girl. I guess his heart really wasn't in the relationship with me . . .as much as it might sting, what goes, goes, right? Nothing I can really do about it. He broke up with you on facebook chat??? WTF...not even a call? Oh no wait...you said that you guys didn't talk by voice much. Haha we USED to skype all the time when we were away during breaks and such before summer, so I mean, it's really not THAT hard to go and skype--it would be much better than facebook chat. O.o Ugh, I know that I should really just move on and be done with this character here . . . but I do always hear the first relationship breakups are usually hard to bear.
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