Theideaofme Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Hey everyone, I'll try to use as much clarity as possible any and all questions are welcome thanks for your responses. I was in a 3 1/2 year relationship with my very first everything. She was very accommodating and loving to say the very least. She told me that i was the "only exception" and that she could never love anyone the way that she loved me...well to make an extremely loooooong story very short, she dumped me in April (she says that i was verbally abusive, when really i just didn't cupcake the truth, but then again she also has other inconsistent reasons for ending it) and seemingly became interested in a mutual acquaintance of ours about 2 weeks later and they started officially dating about a month and half after that and are still dating today. The funny thing is, about a week or so before our breakup we (her, her now current bf, some other friends and myself) went out to eat and afterwards as i was heading home, i called her and told her in all confidence that i felt childish saying it but i was kind of jealous of this new guy and her (there was really nothing that they did, it was just a weird feeling that i had)...her response was more than reassuring, she said that i had NOTHING to be jealous of and in her eyes we were virtually married and that she loved noone else but me etc etc. I believed it. Now she's with him, just months later. Our friends say that there's an "undeniable attraction" between the two. And from pictures that i've seen she seems pretty happy, despite only having known the guy for about 5 months. She claims that while we were together she never looked elsewhere, i tend to believe that because for 3 years she never gave that impression, however i just find it more than coincidental that my gut had me jealous over her now current boyfriend... So 1 week after our break, i asked her to let me know when she finds a decent prospect so that i can be prepared for the emotional effects that it could have on me ( i'm still new at this dating stuff). Her response was usually "why? or why do you need to know that?" Which makes me think that she already had "mr.right" lined up..i hope not but that's what the evidence says. Other forms of evidence that she was interested in this guy before we broke are as follows: about 2 weeks after the break, my group of friends (her included) went to see a show, after that show i asked her some questions about him, and she told me that he was a really sweet and humble guy (which is what he appears to be) and that she thinks that me and him would be great friends, she said that i just have a "stigma" about him preventing that. I then asked her if she saw him as a prospect already (being that we had only been broken up for a couple weeks) and her reply was "i'm not looking for a relationship"' and i asked "but what about him? do you see yourself dating him in the future?" and she said, "...We just clicked... but it's too soon, maybe 6 months to a year from now or something..." Those words would have been prophetic had she not moved on to him about 5 months short of that projection. Anyways, this has "rebound" written all over it, but then again our almost 4 year relationship was a rebound relationship (for her) from the beginning as well come to think of it. Talking to her recently i've let her know that our friends including myself think that she's moving way too fast and that she's not allowing herself to heal properly as well as how bad it looks, her dumping me after 3 1/2 years for someone else. She claims that she 'knows what she's doing' and that she "knows how it looks", I even said to her in an email once that i felt bad for her because i knew that she "would stumble into another relationship and change nothing." My feelings on the matter aren't unique to the situation, you've read it all before somewhere else i'm sure. I feel used, betrayed, mislead, confused and everything that comes in between. I thought i was truly special to her, i thought that she and i would be married soon, i thought that i was "the only exception" and then when our long term relationship hit another low point she bailed. 3 1/2 unique years of my life that i'll never get back. It sucks to say the least especially since i'm the extremely sentimental type. Part of me wishes her the best in her new relationship, because i truly want her to be happy, and the other part of me wishes that she'll learn that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship that will make her feel good all the time....i wish i had started posting on here as soon as the breakup happened, but up until now i was just an observer and reader. But i'm open to any opinions and feedback. Thanks again...
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