Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Day after day, woman post questions on here asking if they should ask a guy out, or if a guy is interested in them. And day after day, people reply, with a big NO wait for him to come to you. WHY ? Are you saying women dont know how to deal with the situation if they initiate it ? If a woman is looking for a relationship with a guy, and not a ONS, than what is the difference who initiates contact, or the first date ? She should be keeping her eyes open for red flags either way right ? She has the power to set everything straight on what her intentions are, and what she expects from the guy. If he is just looking to hit it n quit it, he probably would have had those intentions anyways, even if he was the initiator. You are acting like if the guy initiates, than that means he has good intentions and must really care for her. But if she initiates, the guy is just looking to score and toss her away after he's done. Those scenarios are seen through all situations, regardless who initiates. Mature women that know what they want, and know what they deserve, should have no problems initiating. .
Gallaxia Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 When generally, there's a shift in the dating dynamic (and not necessarily is it viewed as a positive) when a woman takes control. That's why a woman tends to hang back. The sad thing is dating got so convoluted nobody knows what to do anymore.
gamma1 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It would be no problem getting a woman's number, calling her and asking her out. It's hard to do when they rarely give their number, rarely answer calls and rarely return messages. It's all about not looking too desperate and pretending to be busy I suppose. I really have no idea.
TheWatcher Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 If a woman is looking for a relationship with a guy, and not a ONS, than what is the difference who initiates contact, or the first date ? For many women...initiating contact & expressing obvious interest in a guy is the epitome of humiliation & degradation;dehumanizing in a sense.Some do not want to risk the possibility of rejection (which rarely happens to women even when they take a risk) and most enjoy the sense of power that they have in the dating dynamic. They feel that allowing a guy to know that you're interested... you somehow relinquish some of that power.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It's because most people think dating is a game. That and most of the time, it's a power play. Some women are ingrained with the idea that the more they initiate the more likely it'll appear as if they're doing all the chasing, which in effect makes the guy think there's no challenge.
threebyfate Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Why initiate when you don't have to? If you're lonely and no one is initiating, then it's understandable to do so.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It's because most people think dating is a game. It is to me its called RISK.. you don't know if you don't try I asked my partner out still together a year later no head games it works people..
Gattica Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It's because most people think dating is a game. Which is quite sad. I am tired of the game, but can't seem to find anyone that isn't willing to treat dating as anything but...
bac Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Mature women that know what they want, and know what they deserve, should have no problems initiating. Perhaps, but IRL, women are rejected if they initiate unless there are really favorable circumstanses for the initiation, or a guy has severe social anxiety or it is initiated for NSA.
Lipsy10 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I asked my now fiance out . I liked him and was tired of waiting for him to ask me. I have since asked my man if he was ever going to ask me on a date and he said " NO, cause your friends told me you wouldn't be interested". So if I had sat back and waited for him I'd still be single! My advice wud be to just go for it, lifes too short!
Author Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 I asked my now fiance out . I liked him and was tired of waiting for him to ask me. I have since asked my man if he was ever going to ask me on a date and he said " NO, cause your friends told me you wouldn't be interested". So if I had sat back and waited for him I'd still be single! I would love to know the statistics on how many thousands of women let good guys pass by because they dont have the cojones to speak up. Did you give your friends a good tongue lashing for almost ruining things ?
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It just sucks that as the guy you have to do everything right and ask the girl out. Then if she gives you her number, she might not even answer.... not because she doesn't like you, but because she is playing the game of not looking too into you. It seems like it's left up to the guy to take all of the risks and make all of the moves. No wonder guys have started playing games to try to get the power back in dating. The whole system is just screwed up now and people just need to stop playing games.
crfsti Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 ^^ So true, I've been shot down and jerked around countless times by people playing these "dating games" that i've just figured that no woman is interested in me, even tho i've been told many times that i'm a "great catch":confused:
gamma1 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Much of these games were started by the hottest looking men who may have several girlfriends at once. It seems like mamy women can't get enough of them and will do anything even for a little piece of their time. These men love games so the women start to love games to becuase they work at getting attention from this type of man. The woman eventually learn that these guys usually have little more than looks and starts looking for other guys. Unfortunately, the woman often still plays games with the new guy and when the guy doesn't want to play or isn't good at the game, he is in for a cruel rejection.
gamma1 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 ^^ So true, I've been shot down and jerked around countless times by people playing these "dating games" that i've just figured that no woman is interested in me, even tho i've been told many times that i'm a "great catch":confused: More than half the women I've talked to and sometimes dated from online loved playing games. Some of the worst said "no games" in their profile. Maybe they meant no board games becuase they loved playing relationship games. "great catch" and "nice guy" I hear all the time. It's just what someone who's still a virgin in his late 30s wants to hear.
Recommended Posts