why is it so unfair?

[marmaliade]

Dated a guy for four years, always stood by his side, always respectted his need for space, always been there for him. My parents found out we were dating later on, because he was a foreigner and my parents were against it, but i managed to stand my ground, everyone started respecting my decision and with time and effort even started liking him, my parents even invited him to stay over at our lace, always welcomed him and his family, gave everything what they could, started treating him very well. His family overwise, never met my parents, because they thought Im not good enough for him, treated me bad, making remarks that hurt me, never we really interested who i am or from which kind of family i came from, though my parents were eager to meet them, they just declined the invitation through their son. My boyfriend was always undecided, we had on and off relationship, just i always tried to understand him and wait, if something bad happened i was there for him, when he finally came around as I thought, and started promising me future, he just dissapeared leaving me alone, after three months he came around though i found out he was going out with one girl, who he said was nothing compared to me. Finally we started planing marriage, everything was ok, just the distance was doing it's own thing, because he was away, but he came o my parents, asked for my hand, what i saw that i didn't like is that he didnt respect others so much, for example he was using my parents car and didn't use it carefully, he always wanted for everyone to wait for him even though he was staying at our place. So one day we had an arguement he blamed me for everything that didn't happen, he also screamed at me and was unrespectfull, after a week of not talking he told a lot of bad stuff to his friends and family about me and he said that we're dne because they said how can you be with such a girl. I am not saying i am perfect, but for example when i was feeling sad that he spent more time with his friends than me, he turned it in that way that i hated his friends and was against him to spend time with them (i think that's what he told everyone). Then it took him one week to tell me that he would talk to me and solve our problems in few weeks (basicly there were no problems, just he decided to make them) and went abroad for a month to spend with friends, drinking and so on. Didnt hear from him all this time, even when he came back he ignored me all the time, he even didnt tell me if it's over or explain anything, because basicly we broke up over nothing (he said you wont play by my rules). Now i was left to deal with everything on my own, everyone asking about the marriage, my mom wasn't able to understand what hapened and thought it is ALL my FAULT. After two months he somehow started talking he said he doesnt trust me anymore, he doesn't think we will work out, though he still told me he missed me and loved me and got jealous over me. I really dont understand what happened, because one day everything was good, the next day a stupid arguement, a week later he spents all the marriage money abroad and ignores me. P.S. I also think there's something connected with his parents because his family is against me, because we're from different cultures, but he is a grown man, i dont understand how can he not stand up for me. Also I think he was actually working on this with his family, so why to destroy everything when you got this far? Now i feel hurt, betrayed and confussed, he really never talked to me, because he said it's not a good thing (?). I can see he cares, but he's pushing me waya too. I really love him and i actually did everything for him, even changed my lifestyle, was prepared to move to his country leaving everything behind and starting from zero and he just gave up on me. He never said sorry or anything. It hurts a LOT, i know deep inside this relationship is unmendable, because he really destroyed it, i dont have trust, respect for him anymore, i'm just left with this love, and it really hurts how you give all yourself and it just ends up like that. I wish the relationship was good, i wish he would finally stand for me, but i dont think he matures for it emotionally, i was his first serious girlfriend and actgually i thought we conquered all the demons, oh well i was wrong, i also know i will never love like this again (i dont open up to people easily), but i know there are people out there who would treat me better, just i can't let go P.P.S. I also know that one day he will realise he lost someone special, but not now...