Arbitrariness Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 does it really exists except for in our minds? I agree, how can love exist with only one person doing the loving. I think people go a little crazy when the word 'love' is thrown around. Replace it with 'Lust' or 'Infatuation' and you get a better idea of the situation.
Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Of course it exists. If you love someone and they love you and then they break up with you the love you had for them is still there. It's the same thing as when you love someone that doesn't love you the same and things never end up working out only the other way around. Love is in YOUR heart. When two hearts that love each other get together then the are IN love.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 It's Something that those have not experienced it, have no clue how it feels. Easy for them to call it a watse of time and usually these same people will peg the the lover as a creepy stalker:rolleyes: I have experienced it, multiple times. I not only KNOW how it feels, but I was totally engulfed by the pain of it. And because I do know, is why I have said what I have said. Looking back - it was a pointless waste of all my resources. Mind, heart, time. You need to take a lesson from it (or in my case lessons ), reflect and move forward knowing why it happened and why you won't let it happen again. You DO have control. I don't think that it's creepy (unless you fully cross the line into stalking). I don't think that it can be classified as "true love" unless the other person returns your feelings - you can feel like you are "in love" with the other person though. I think that Ariadne called it true love because she beleived that D guy returned/still returns her feelings (not because of what she feels for him). I have no doubt that Ariadne feels love for this man.
Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I have experienced it, multiple times. I not only KNOW how it feels, but I was totally engulfed by the pain of it. And because I do know, is why I have said what I have said. Looking back - it was a pointless waste of all my resources. Mind, heart, time. You need to take a lesson from it (or in my case lessons ), reflect and move forward knowing why it happened and why you won't let it happen again. You DO have control. I don't think that it's creepy (unless you fully cross the line into stalking). I don't think that it can be classified as "true love" unless the other person returns your feelings - you can feel like you are "in love" with the other person though. I think that Ariadne called it true love because she beleived that D guy returned/still returns her feelings (not because of what she feels for him). I have no doubt that Ariadne feels love for this man. It's never a waste. You learned a lot from it, didn't you? Sometimes you have to give it your all and hope for the best. Most people will think that you are foolish but you have more of a chance getting what you want by going for it instead of giving up. The key is knowing when it's time to give up and move on if things obviously aren't going well. I believe you learned this through your experience so it wasn't a waste at all and it has helped you grow into a better more complete person.
Ariadne Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I have no doubt that Ariadne feels love for this man. Thank you.
Arbitrariness Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Of course it exists. If you love someone and they love you and then they break up with you the love you had for them is still there. It's the same thing as when you love someone that doesn't love you the same and things never end up working out only the other way around. Love is in YOUR heart. When two hearts that love each other get together then the are IN love. I digress, one sided love is not love at all, it is an infatuation (as described by the english language). Hence the infatuation exists, and love doesn't. If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? Can you love somebody you havn't met? Are there millions of teens in love with the dude from twilight? Is the love between me and my favourite burger from Burger King genuine? Basically if we legitimise that a crush is the same as love we detract from its real meaning as it pertains to relationships.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 It's never a waste. You learned a lot from it, didn't you? Sometimes you have to give it your all and hope for the best. Most people will think that you are foolish but you have more of a chance getting what you want by going for it instead of giving up. The key is knowing when it's time to give up and move on if things obviously aren't going well. I believe you learned this through your experience so it wasn't a waste at all and it has helped you grow into a better more complete person. I guess it depends on how long you stay in the situation. When you get to the point where all this person brings to your life is pain and sadness, when you have pretty much tried everything multiple times and it all amounted to nothing - then it's time to cut your losses. Anything past that point becomes a "waste". For, me I suffered for a good few years after it was blindingly obvious to everyone else that "nothing will ever happen".
Star Gazer Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 d) A waste of time and energy. Ditto. (10 characters)
Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I digress, one sided love is not love at all, it is an infatuation (as described by the english language). Hence the infatuation exists, and love doesn't. If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? Can you love somebody you havn't met? Are there millions of teens in love with the dude from twilight? Is the love between me and my favourite burger from Burger King genuine? Basically if we legitimise that a crush is the same as love we detract from its real meaning as it pertains to relationships. Unrequited love is different than a crush. If you actually look up the word love it says nothing about it having to be between two people. If you look up infatuation it is actually a form of love or great admiration.
Arbitrariness Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Unrequited love is different than a crush. If you actually look up the word love it says nothing about it having to be between two people. If you look up infatuation it is actually a form of love or great admiration. Touche, but you have proved my point on the significance that you place on the word. I believe infatuation is the logical conclusion to the analysis of 'unrequited love'. I'm interested to know how a crush (colloquial infatuation) is differerent than unrequited love?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Touche, but you have proved my point on the significance that you place on the word. I believe infatuation is the logical conclusion to the analysis of 'unrequited love'. I'm interested to know how a crush (colloquial infatuation) is differerent than unrequited love? I would take the "unrequited love" to be a similar but more intense feeling than the crush. Sort of like crush cubed.
Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Touche, but you have proved my point on the significance that you place on the word. I believe infatuation is the logical conclusion to the analysis of 'unrequited love'. I'm interested to know how a crush (colloquial infatuation) is differerent than unrequited love? Hey, I just had to bring out the actual definitions of the word as you brought up the idea of how they were described by the English language. I guess it depends on the crush. Since to me a crush has no basis in reality. I've had crushes on people that were based solely on observation and not interaction. I think that unrequited love is deeper in the sense that it involves actual interaction with the person that you are infatuated or in love with. I guess everyone has their opinion on the differences between the two or if there is a difference or not. That's just my take on it.
Arbitrariness Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Perhaps its occurs when you take a crush and romanticize it. Crush cubed sounds like some sort of delicious drink.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Perhaps its occurs when you take a crush and romanticize it. Crush cubed sounds like some sort of delicious drink. I meant it in a mathematical way as in squared->cubed.
Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I meant it in a mathematical way as in squared->cubed. So crush x crush x crush = unrequited love?
Ariadne Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Yes, but not true love?... lol..weird has two be two mutual people that feel the same for true love to happen. is this a rule? Yes, it's kind of a rule. But right now I am at the point where I just feel the way I do.
Confused100 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 is... something I've had too much experience with!
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Yes, it's kind of a rule. But right now I am at the point where I just feel the way I do. Ariadne, if you would just take my advice and sign up on a dating site -your life will open up like crazy.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Those sites are for desperate people. Nah, I feel like I am starring in my own version of "The Bachelorette" - only with less good looking cast members.
Ariadne Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Ariadne, if you would just take my advice and sign up on a dating site -your life will open up like crazy. Maybe one day, I'm not so interested in that now since I have other problems to take care. Plus, I'll have to get on a diet, start running, prep, etc.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Maybe one day, I'm not so interested in that now since I have other problems to take care. Plus, I'll have to get on a diet, start running, prep, etc. Fair enough. Just don't be too hard on yourself in regards to diet. I am not in great shape either, but turns out that most men I met are more overweight than me.
Ariadne Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Fair enough. Just don't be too hard on yourself in regards to diet. I am not in great shape either, but turns out that most men I met are more overweight than me. Well, I still have to do my best Alicia Keys impersonation. Tough job but you know how they are.
horsegirl Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Unrequited love happens when the person in love, for whatever reason, does not have the self-esteem or self-respect to believe they are truly worthy of that other person's returned interest. Stalking people, following them around, worshipping from a distance... this happens when you do not believe yourself to be their equal. My favorite quote from Ferris Bueller: "She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work."
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