SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I am on this dating site (the largest one in Australia), where you have to pay $10 to contact a member. You can send them a "kiss" for free and they can respond with "interested" or not. There are couple of guys few weeks ago that I found REALLY cute and their profiles interesting and they both responded as "interested" to my "kiss". But neither of the payed $10 for the e-mail. This mornirng, I ended up paying to contact these 2 guys. They both responded instantly and seem interested so far. I now feel like they felt obligated to respond and are not really interested. They probably think that I am desparate and easy too I am curious of guy's view on this.
Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Dont assume anything. I would not think a girl is easy if she initiated. I actually like women that initiate, wish more of them did. Thats what I NEVER understand about dating sites. MOST women just sit there, waiting for the right guy to come along, never lifting a finger to help herself out. Just be clear with them what kind of relationship you want.
Green Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 My view on this is I don't use dating sites because as a man it is totaly in favor of women. The fact that they didn't pay the 10$ actualy says something good about them. Seriously, if this doesn't work out stop paying 10$ to send a msg. My advice is hope for the best, and plan for the worst. GL
shadowplay Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Nah, I think it's great that you're initiating. If you just rely on guys to message you, then you have fewer options. Maybe this is why you've been going on dates with men who don't fit your personality. Don't worry about whether it means they're interested or not. You'll be able to tell that once you meet in person.
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Do you have to pay $10 per month or person? If it's per person then that sucks.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I am on this dating site (the largest one in Australia), where you have to pay $10 to contact a member. You can send them a "kiss" for free and they can respond with "interested" or not. There are couple of guys few weeks ago that I found REALLY cute and their profiles interesting and they both responded as "interested" to my "kiss". But neither of the payed $10 for the e-mail. This mornirng, I ended up paying to contact these 2 guys. They both responded instantly and seem interested so far. I now feel like they felt obligated to respond and are not really interested. They probably think that I am desparate and easy too I am curious of guy's view on this. Is it 10 bucks per email? or 10 bucks to sighn up for a month or something im just curious cause if its the first one thats a expensive dating site. Don't feel bad just take it as it comes every ones on their to find some one after all who cares who takes the 1st step what matters is the eventual outcome best of luck...
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 It's $10 PER person. Then you can IM or message through the site for 30 days. It seems that it attracts rich, business types mostly. I am amazed at the places some of the guys took me to for the first meet up.
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 It's $10 PER person. Then you can IM or message through the site for 30 days. It seems that it attracts rich, business types mostly. I am amazed at the places some of the guys took me to for the first meet up. Wow. At least you know you're going to find someone who's loaded.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 Wow. At least you know you're going to find someone who's loaded. That is not even my intention. This is the dating site (RSVP) with most members in Australia. I joined OKcupid, but there is so few guys in my area that it's hopeless. There is also Australian Match which is membership type site but still has a lot less members than RSVP.
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 That is not even my intention. This is the dating site (RSVP) with most members in Australia. I joined OKcupid, but there is so few guys in my area that it's hopeless. There is also Australian Match which is membership type site but still has a lot less members than RSVP. You gotta do whatcha gotta do. I live in the states so I don't know about that. Too bad because if I lived over there I would take you out and show you a good time.
Thierro Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I thought you asked me to marry you. I guess you bailed out on me because of my toilet cleaning skills. on-topic; It's ok. You take your own initiative. Nothing wrong with that. Don't be bothered by it and keep it cool. If guys think you’re desperate they will know they were wrong when they get to know you. Good luck though.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 You gotta do whatcha gotta do. I live in the states so I don't know about that. Too bad because if I lived over there I would take you out and show you a good time. Awww that's sweet The only good thing about $10 contact is that guys that do contact you are pretty interested. They also don't flake out and follow thorough with the meeting (I guess they want to get their moneys worth ).
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Awww that's sweet The only good thing about $10 contact is that guys that do contact you are pretty interested. They also don't flake out and follow thorough with the meeting (I guess they want to get their moneys worth ). That's always good. If you have the money to spend then I guess it's not a big deal. I tried one paid dating site in the past but had very little luck and got sick of paying so I canceled. I've tried free ones and actually had more success. Still not much success though.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 That's always good. If you have the money to spend then I guess it's not a big deal. I tried one paid dating site in the past but had very little luck and got sick of paying so I canceled. I've tried free ones and actually had more success. Still not much success though. What happens when you contact them? Do they not respond at all or do they initially respond and then flake out?
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 What happens when you contact them? Do they not respond at all or do they initially respond and then flake out? On the paid sites it was a monthly fee though. In my experience I had mostly people that never responded and some that would respond once or twice and then just stop. Oh... actually I went on one date with a girl I met on Match.com but she lived like an hour a way and she didn't want to keep dating because she said that we had too much in common. Whatever that means. On the free site that I tried, it took me about 100 different women before I got about 10 responses. Most of them stopped responding after a few messages or I stopped responding to them because they didn't seem like my type. There was one that I gave my number too, but she wouldn't call me and kept coming up with excuses not to meet. Then eventually she did call me, but I blew her off because I was sick of the games. I met another one and she was cool, but things got a little weird. I don't know where it's going but I really like her. There were two others that I was talking to, but I didn't think things would work out with them so I told them I was closing my account and then I closed it. All of this happened in the span of about 2-3 months on the free dating site. Like I said, I've never seen one like the one you are on though.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 With the ones you have met, did you find that they looked worse or different than their pictures? With the guys, I find that they put up pictures that are a LOT more flattering than what they look like in person. Yet, it's clear those are their pictures - they would just hide that they pretty overweight for example.
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 With the ones you have met, did you find that they looked worse or different than their pictures? With the guys, I find that they put up pictures that are a LOT more flattering than what they look like in person. Yet, it's clear those are their pictures - they would just hide that they pretty overweight for example. Hmmm... I know in my case I think I look worse in pictures than I do in person. I hate the way I look in pictures. As for women, I saw that some of them tried to hide their weight. I've met 3 people in total from online dating and two of them were more overweight in person than they looked like in their pictures. The last one who I met more recently was even more pretty in person than in her pictures. The only problem was that she has to use cane to walk around and she didn't tell me this until I talked to her on the phone for a few hours. It was weird at first, but I got over it and started to really like her. Then I panicked and probably blew my chance with her. Now things are kinda awkward.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 Hmmm... I know in my case I think I look worse in pictures than I do in person. I hate the way I look in pictures. As for women, I saw that some of them tried to hide their weight. I've met 3 people in total from online dating and two of them were more overweight in person than they looked like in their pictures. The last one who I met more recently was even more pretty in person than in her pictures. The only problem was that she has to use cane to walk around and she didn't tell me this until I talked to her on the phone for a few hours. It was weird at first, but I got over it and started to really like her. Then I panicked and probably blew my chance with her. Now things are kinda awkward. Oh, it must have been really hard for that girl to talk about using a cane. I can't even imagine it. We girls think that most guys want someone fun, light, exciting etc. To bring up talk of any medical issues right at the start, before emotional investment - can really put a wet a blanket on the attraction. I feel for that girl.
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Oh, it must have been really hard for that girl to talk about using a cane. I can't even imagine it. We girls think that most guys want someone fun, light, exciting etc. To bring up talk of any medical issues right at the start, before emotional investment - can really put a wet a blanket on the attraction. I feel for that girl. She said she didn't even tell a guy once and he acted weird about it when they met up. It didn't matter to me after I thought about it for a little bit. She's too awesome of a person to worry about something stupid like that. She was in a bad car wreck and she has trouble getting around at times but she has an awesome personality. I still really hope that things work out with me and her because I really like her.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 She said she didn't even tell a guy once and he acted weird about it when they met up. It didn't matter to me after I thought about it for a little bit. She's too awesome of a person to worry about something stupid like that. She was in a bad car wreck and she has trouble getting around at times but she has an awesome personality. I still really hope that things work out with me and her because I really like her. Well, the cane is probably her major insecurity/vulnerability. If you can make her feel with both words and actions how much you like her and show real compassion and understanding of what she has been through - that's the key to her heart. I hope that you didn't react too badly once you found out though. She is proabably super sensitive to any weirdness that you might have shown.
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Well, the cane is probably her major insecurity/vulnerability. If you can make her feel with both words and actions how much you like her and show real compassion and understanding of what she has been through - that's the key to her heart. I hope that you didn't react too badly once you found out though. She is proabably super sensitive to any weirdness that you might have shown. Nope. I told her that I was surprised and everything and told her it would take getting used to, but after one date, I was fine with it and told her that. I sorta blew things because I was going really slow with her and I panicked that I would be put in the friendzone so I sorta told her what I was feeling and such and it kinda put her off because she didn't want to rush into anything. She was engaged a few years ago and it didn't work out so... yeah. She said that I didn't have enough confidence and then I sorta freaked out and tried to explain things or whatever and she said it was too early to have these awkward conversations and told me to call her when I was over my issues. She wasn't mean about it or anything though, but I feel bad not because I probably blew my chance with her but because I wanted to be the man that I know she deserves and I fell short of that. We were going out 2-3 times a week, talking a few times a week and texting a lot. I haven't had any contact with her in a few days and it sucks. That's why I came on here to try to figure out what's wrong with me.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 Nope. I told her that I was surprised and everything and told her it would take getting used to, but after one date, I was fine with it and told her that. I sorta blew things because I was going really slow with her and I panicked that I would be put in the friendzone so I sorta told her what I was feeling and such and it kinda put her off because she didn't want to rush into anything. She was engaged a few years ago and it didn't work out so... yeah. She said that I didn't have enough confidence and then I sorta freaked out and tried to explain things or whatever and she said it was too early to have these awkward conversations and told me to call her when I was over my issues. She wasn't mean about it or anything though, but I feel bad not because I probably blew my chance with her but because I wanted to be the man that I know she deserves and I fell short of that. We were going out 2-3 times a week, talking a few times a week and texting a lot. I haven't had any contact with her in a few days and it sucks. That's why I came on here to try to figure out what's wrong with me. I hope it works out for you... if not you can always come to Australia
Gero Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I hope it works out for you... if not you can always come to Australia Sounds good. I'll start swimming across the Pacific. It might take awhile to get there.
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