Author Thierro Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 Yes I will need to find a way somewhere in between. It's like an addiction. Once I do it, I get a kick out of it and want to feel that kick again, but it will feel better for the both of us when I hold it in for a while. Thanks everyone.
Taramere Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the replies. I am wondering if it’s just unhealthy (for me.. the relationship) wanting stuff like this and if I need to get a grip on it. I am just figuring this out for myself. I would always get irritable if guys would talk the way I do now, so it’s a new outlook I need to take into consideration and give it a place in time. Sure, I wouldn’t do everything for her all the time like she is a baby or something, but I would like it to be a fare amount. It just depends on what it is. I would enjoy doing the household period. I would enjoy cooking for her every day. I would love her to carry her into bath, wash her hair and dry her off 3 out of 10 times (maybe even 10/10. who knows. I'm not sure how far it goes, but I know my ex complaint about me doing too much). So yeah, it really matters on what the action is. I know that if I would do things all the time it will mean less to her and she will not enjoy it as much as before. So to make her really happy, I will have to give up on a large part of what I want, otherwise I will not get the results that I want. I wonder what kind of girls would want this though. I think a lot of men are attracted by female vulnerability, and I suppose it's because that vulnerability creates a role for them. We all need a role of some kind. To feel that we have purpose and value in the world. The difficulty for you is that most women probably don't want to sink to the level of vulnerability that you find attractive. Think of it another way. A child who is a natural rescuer might go out into the woods looking for injured birds or small animals to help....but what bird or animal in its right mind would want to be that injured, vulnerable party? The desire to survive, and to develop the ability to do so as independently as possible - being well prepared for times when help is not readily available - are instincts that drive any healthy animal. I think some men find it hard to comprehend that women also have that instinct, and are inclined to blame it incorrectly on social movements such as feminism (not that you're doing that in your thread here. I think you recognise that this is more about your need to nurture than about any perceived need of women to be nurtured). For the level of nurturing you want to deliver to feel exciting or necessary to a woman, she's going to be in a regular state of vulnerability, which means there are going to need to be negative elements in her life that keep her feeling that way. That might involve, for instance, being abused in a different context. Perhaps being miserable in her job, or having a romantic involvement with another man who treats her badly, or having a phobia that impacts upon her ability to function normally. If you're a natural rescuer and nurturer, then there are lots of ways you can put those drives to good use without it resulting in you being exploited romantically or caught up in a relationship that's fuelled more by problematic issues than by positives. You could adopt an animal from a rescue shelter. Dogs, in particular, can never get enough of being loved and nurtured. Or you could think about going into one of the caring professions...or volunteering in a caring capacity part time. Maybe that would reduce the need to cosset a woman you're romantically involved with to the extent you want to - because I do agree that most healthy adult women are probably going to resist being pampered by their mate to the extent you would like. eg you mentioned carrying them to their bath and drying their hair on a regular basis. The first thing I thought when I read that was "Oh God....it would be like an early taste of life in a nursing home." Edited July 10, 2010 by Taramere
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