robdrm32 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 So i recently got in touch with a girl (i'm a guy) that i used to work with, she's a nice girl, but frankly i'm not attracted to her but she's a good person and i'd like to pursue a platonic friendship with because I really don't have many friends. Now my issue is I know she has atleast a few cute friends, and seeing as how she is a conservative girl (no sex until marriage) i'd say there is a decent chance her friends are also decently good people. Sure they may not be but birds of a feather flock together. I'm not looking to just "score" with her friends, i'm hoping she has a good girlfriend that I can pursue something serious with eventually. I'm worried as to how I can pull this off without leading her on, or hurting her. I don't know that she likes me but it's possible, i'm just looking for an avenue to meet good girls and she seems like one, but I don't know the best route to do this. I'm thinking when we hang out (probably tomorrow night) that I can just be frank with her and say that i'm not looking for anything but friendship, then eventually get to know her friends and hope to find a good girl (i've had some bad luck). Any thoughts as how to accomplish this without coming off as an A-hole?
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Sounds like you are already eyeing one? This sounds like you are certain, ie you have seen some girls you thought were hot hanging around her. And "oooohh oohhhh let me try to get some of that!" You can definitely fool her, but I'm not sure you even came close to fooling me on the A-hole call heh
TaraMaiden Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 The problem is, you already are coming off that way. If you cultivate a friendship, you cultivate it without an agendas, or ulterior motive. Don't be a user. if you want her as a friend, just for whom she is, that is one thing. But to befriend her in the hope that one of her friends (whom you don't know, have never met, or have any idea about) will eventually prove to be the future squeeze of robdrm32, and that furthermore, she can provide that opening, and you can use her to that end - well, I'm sorry, that's just the behaviour of a sleazeball. The point is - you have no idea how she feels about you, sincerely. She might be harbouring romantic feelings for you, so your intentions are a bit of a slap in the face for her - you do see that, don't you? And there is absolutely no way I personally can think of being able to say to a lady - in whichever way you want to say it - that you like her, just not in that way, and by the way, does she think you might have a good chance with one of her friends? I think you'd better think it out again......
Author robdrm32 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 thanks for the responses. I want to hang out with her, she's a cool girl, regardless if i could or would meet anyone through her. My main motivation to hang out with her is to have friends, because I only have a few. I'm just worried that: 1. she's going to start to like me, when i have no interest 2. i'm eventually going to meet one of her friends and they will start to like me. (i'm not conceited but frankly i'm an attractive guy and girls come on to me alot) So i'm just worried that i'm going to get invited out with her friends at some point, and i might be attracted to them, and them to me and then I have an awkward situation on my hands.
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