JamesB Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Hi, I'm new to this and was just hoping to get a little advice on my recent break up. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm 30 and five months ago i started seeing a 20 year old girl. She seemed very mature for her age, doing a law degree and working part time at my company, thats how we met. We both had just come out of long term relationships mine 5 years and hers 4 years. everthing was going great and we spent a lot of time together, she would stay at my place 4 or 5 nights a week. I fell for her way too quickly i know but shes gorgeous and so much fun, she made me feel good again. But then after 3 months she started acting wierd. She was suddenly very secretive especially with her phone and things like facebook. she would delete anything i wrote on her facebook which she had never done before. I knew her ex called her and text her everyday about 10 times but she would just ignore it. i didnt really care. She started lying to me about where she was going and who with. she told me the truth because i could tell she was lying and she knew it. she said she had met her ex a couple of times but not done anything with him. But she did have what looked suspicously like a love bite on her neck. She claimed it was a rash. Anyway she said i was too jelous and suffocating her, which is prob a little true but i only started acting like that after she told me about her meeting her ex. We split up a month ago but we see each other 4 or 5 times a week at work which is really hard. We hardly spoke for 3 weeks and it was very awkward. Last week however she sat with me at lunch and was very nice and asked me out for a drink. I agreed which is prob a mistake but i do still have feelings for her. She was also very flirty last couple of days. Im meeting her tuesday night. Is his a good idea? Does she want me back or just want to be friends? Im confused and its hard because i was just getting back to normal as i was quite low after we split.
YellowShark Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 She was suddenly very secretive especially with her phone and things like facebook. Red flags. ..she would delete anything i wrote on her facebook which she had never done before. More red flags. She started lying to me about where she was going and who with. And more red flags. ...she said she had met her ex a couple of times but not done anything with him. But she did have what looked suspicously like a love bite on her neck. And yet more red flags and the "deal breaker." We split up a month ago but we see each other 4 or 5 times a week at work which is really hard. Now you have learned why you don't date people at work. Last week however she sat with me at lunch and was very nice and asked me out for a drink. I guess things aren't working out with her EX at this time so you are the fall back plan. Is his a good idea? Does she want me back or just want to be friends? Im confused and its hard because i was just getting back to normal as i was quite low after we split. She is using you and I would recommend you blow her off. But don't take my advice, (I'm a total stranger), wait and see what the consensus is. Best of luck. (But I smell heartbreak for you if you continue to see her.)
Ilovecake Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 James I'll give it to you straight. I've seen these scenarios a dozen times. She was cheating on you with her ex. You had every right to question her, she said you were being jealous and possessive to get the heat of off what she was doing and make you feel like the bad guy so you stop questioning her. She broke up with you so she can try and rekindle her relationship with the ex. Things obviously didn't work out the way she though they would so now she's back to you. You have to decide whether being her backup guy, her second choice is enough for you or if you want something more from a relationship. Unfortunately if you do decide to get back together with her chances are high that she's leave you again when someone else comes along. Once you know there are no consequences for cheating the second time is much easier.
myloveis4ever Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Hi, I'm new to this and was just hoping to get a little advice on my recent break up. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm 30 and five months ago i started seeing a 20 year old girl. She seemed very mature for her age, doing a law degree and working part time at my company, thats how we met. We both had just come out of long term relationships mine 5 years and hers 4 years. everthing was going great and we spent a lot of time together, she would stay at my place 4 or 5 nights a week. I fell for her way too quickly i know but shes gorgeous and so much fun, she made me feel good again. But then after 3 months she started acting wierd. She was suddenly very secretive especially with her phone and things like facebook. she would delete anything i wrote on her facebook which she had never done before. I knew her ex called her and text her everyday about 10 times but she would just ignore it. i didnt really care. She started lying to me about where she was going and who with. she told me the truth because i could tell she was lying and she knew it. she said she had met her ex a couple of times but not done anything with him. But she did have what looked suspicously like a love bite on her neck. She claimed it was a rash. Anyway she said i was too jelous and suffocating her, which is prob a little true but i only started acting like that after she told me about her meeting her ex. We split up a month ago but we see each other 4 or 5 times a week at work which is really hard. We hardly spoke for 3 weeks and it was very awkward. Last week however she sat with me at lunch and was very nice and asked me out for a drink. I agreed which is prob a mistake but i do still have feelings for her. She was also very flirty last couple of days. Im meeting her tuesday night. Is his a good idea? Does she want me back or just want to be friends? Im confused and its hard because i was just getting back to normal as i was quite low after we split. .".she would delete anything i wrote on her facebook which she had never done before." Please go NC. -
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