Gallaxia Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 A guy acquaintance of mine That I had met online - who I haven't spoken to since at least Thanksgiving- emailed me last night saying he's coming to my city for a conference. He didn't necessarily ask me to hang out but asked for tips on where to hang out Mon or Tues. So it's not like he came out & asked to meet up and I don't wanna be presumptuous. Would you suggest meeting up? Or just offer up places? Remember, we hadn't spoken since Nov.
Author Gallaxia Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 Uh oh! All those peeks and nobody? I must be (being) clueless about something! What am I missing here?
potrzebie Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Why don't you just make it cute, like saying you're the city's unofficial official tour guide and since you happen to not have any tours booked that night you'd love to show him some great places in town...if he's like i just wanted the information (which if that's all he really wanted, he could google it, y'know), then tell him a couple of places that suck (hee hee, just kidding) and wish him a good time...no harm no foul, whatever...
White Dove Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 You can give him some tips and add that if he needs a friend to show him around, you can.
Serenitynow Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 like saying you're the city's unofficial official tour guide Why should she give the guy the time of day now ? Its been over 8 months. He's either looking to score, or using her as a backburner date. Theres no way I would give in to that. But if Gallaxia wants to flirt and see where it goes, then thats a good way to respond. .
potrzebie Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Why should she give the guy the time of day now ? Its been over 8 months. He's either looking to score, or using her as a backburner date. Theres no way I would give in to that. But if Gallaxia wants to flirt and see where it goes, then thats a good way to respond. . That's a good point, but I figgered if she's asking, then she must have SOME interest in seeing if there's anything there...maybe the guy hadn't called or whatever because he lives too far away to make anything logistically feasible based on whatever their past interaction had been. But, like you said, maybe they can hang out and see if he's worth the time of day. If he IS just looking to score or as a plan B, though, I agree--don't go for it. I'm sure Gallaxia will be able to tell by his answer.
Serenitynow Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 because he lives too far away to make anything logistically feasible based on whatever their past interaction had been. I can understand that. Same reason I have shrugged off many LDR offers. Just hope Gallaxia is ready for whatever transpires if she does meet him. .
lso802 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Let him make the moves. If he asks for where to go and such, then if you want, answer. Let this one flow. You don't have to do much but if he asks if you're doing anything, just say you have no plans yet. But yeah, LDRs suck. Just got out of one a few days ago.
dispatch3d Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Why don't you just make it cute, like saying you're the city's unofficial official tour guide and since you happen to not have any tours booked that night you'd love to show him some great places in town...if he's like i just wanted the information (which if that's all he really wanted, he could google it, y'know), then tell him a couple of places that suck (hee hee, just kidding) and wish him a good time...no harm no foul, whatever... This sort of thing could obligate you into showing him several places around town even if you don't like him/really don't like him/really really really don't like him. Obviously you don't want to back yourself into a corner. I would do both. Say a, b, c, x, y, and z are really nice around town. In fact me and my friends are going to x you could... depends on your comfort level... join us there, party with us beforehand (big party or small party, I'd likely go with one-two other people plus him). You could also say x coffee shop is really good I wish my friends would invite me to go there... seems like a very direct hint....
Author Gallaxia Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 Thanks guys for helping me consider stuff I may have overlooked. I'm in between this- Why should she give the guy the time of day now ? Its been over 8 months. He's either looking to score, or using her as a backburner date. Theres no way I would give in to that. But if Gallaxia wants to flirt and see where it goes, then thats a good way to respond. . and this That's a good point, but I figgered if she's asking, then she must have SOME interest in seeing if there's anything there...maybe the guy hadn't called or whatever because he lives too far away to make anything logistically feasible based on whatever their past interaction had been. But, like you said, maybe they can hang out and see if he's worth the time of day. If he IS just looking to score or as a plan B, though, I agree--don't go for it. I'm sure Gallaxia will be able to tell by his answer. Whatever the outcome, I was NOT going to sleep with him. The 8 mos thing makes it feel backburner-ish. I just couldn't see myself totally ignoring the email. That's just rude. Anyway, I did email him back earlier and suggested a great spot and then asked what he had in mind. Still no reference to if I would be joining him or not. I just didn't want to suggest coffee and he means club or something like that. I haven't heard back yet. Don't know if he was on the fly over. The more I think about it, it just seems like a bit too much effort for me, especially if I'm just on the fence about even continuing this 'friendship' or what have you. It's been a while since I've hosted out of town guests so I've forgotten how it can be.
Serenitynow Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 (edited) Wow thats a heck of a commute I understand meeting just to meet. Some people are like that. Kind of like if you and I became chummy on here, and I happen to be in the area, and we made plans for lunch or something. Or if both parties agree to a ONS (which you said was out) Do you have any interests in him ? Any intentions ? . Edited July 10, 2010 by Serenitynow
Author Gallaxia Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 If he had come out and asked me? Yes I would have met up. UPDATE~ So he emails last night & says (now) that most of his evenings won't be free and thanked me for my suggestion; that he couldn't have come to my city without visiting "place" & to have a good one!" Already something is amiss because the place I suggested is never open during the day. Maybe he realized my being vague. But Wha!?!?! What a goober! Whatever. Even as a friend, I can be too #*@^$ nice.
Diezel Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 If he had come out and asked me? Yes I would have met up. UPDATE~ So he emails last night & says (now) that most of his evenings won't be free and thanked me for my suggestion; that he couldn't have come to my city without visiting "place" & to have a good one!" Already something is amiss because the place I suggested is never open during the day. Maybe he realized my being vague. But Wha!?!?! What a goober! Whatever. Even as a friend, I can be too #*@^$ nice. You asked him to meet up, didn't you? Bad move. Whenever you get an email like that, you just answer: X Place, Z Place And that's it. As soon as you say: Did you want to meet up so I can show you? (Or something similar) You put him in a position of power. Specially since he put you in a "backburner" 8 months ago.
Serenitynow Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 You asked him to meet up, didn't you? Bad move. Whenever you get an email like that, you just answer: X Place, Z Place And that's it. As soon as you say: Did you want to meet up so I can show you? (Or something similar) You put him in a position of power. Specially since he put you in a "backburner" 8 months ago. Yea thats it, play games back at him with games of your own. Always good advice. Am I the only one that DOES NOT strategize my responses to the opposite sex ?
Author Gallaxia Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 (edited) You asked him to meet up, didn't you? Bad move. Whenever you get an email like that, you just answer: X Place, Z Place And that's it. As soon as you say: Did you want to meet up so I can show you? (Or something similar) You put him in a position of power. Specially since he put you in a "backburner" 8 months ago. No. I did not. I said I asked him what type of outing he had in mind. I didn't want to suggest something that would conflict with a conference. (If he interpreted that that way, then so be it...that's pretty arrogant, especially after 8 mos of silence). Plus I told him it wouldn't start picking up until around Thurs., and he was talking about Mon & Tues. Not much is happening around these parts then. See this is what I'm confused about- He sought me out to ask me. WTF bother me for then anyway? I mean like another poster mentioned. Google it! I should have said "LMGTFY" I haven't answered. I don't even know what to say, of if I even should. Edited July 11, 2010 by Gallaxia
Diezel Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Yea thats it, play games back at him with games of your own. Always good advice. Am I the only one that DOES NOT strategize my responses to the opposite sex ? Play games??? Are you kidding? Are you SURE you read my response? At what point did I say: This is what you do to get him to ask you out? All I said was, if you get an email from a guy who put you on the backburner 8 MONTHS ago asking what places to go, you simply just answer the email with "X Place, Y Place, Z Place" and nothing more. I'm trying to get her to AVOID the game, not play one. Just cut and dry: X Place, Y Place, Z Place. No asking questions, no asking how long he is going to be there. He asked for places, you give him places and nothing else.
sultry33 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 No. I did not. I said I asked him what type of outing he had in mind. I didn't want to suggest something that would conflict with a conference. (If he interpreted that that way, then so be it...that's pretty arrogant, especially after 8 mos of silence). Plus I told him it wouldn't start picking up until around Thurs., and he was talking about Mon & Tues. Not much is happening around these parts then. See this is what I'm confused about- He sought me out to ask me. WTF bother me for then anyway? I mean like another poster mentioned. Google it! I should have said "LMGTFY" I haven't answered. I don't even know what to say, of if I even should. I wouldnt even waste my time;)
Author Gallaxia Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Indeed Sultry, I am not emailing him anymore.
lso802 Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Was wondering what happened with you. Plenty more men. Don't sweat this one.
sultry33 Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Was wondering what happened with you. Plenty more men. Don't sweat this one. lol I said that the other day on busy train.. everyone laughed.. "plenty more men in the sea"
Author Gallaxia Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Was wondering what happened with you. Plenty more men. Don't sweat this one. Thanks Iso802 Yep
dispatch3d Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 I don't even understand. You were not going to sleep with him but got pissed you weren't asked out (even though there's a fairly good chance you wouldn't have met up with him)....?
Author Gallaxia Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 I don't even understand. You were not going to sleep with him but got pissed you weren't asked out (even though there's a fairly good chance you wouldn't have met up with him)....? I could see why you thought that. But I wondering why he bothered me in the first place. He could have very well got the info on his own. What he did was in poor taste. I don't know if he was trying to play it off cuz I was vague or what.
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