Liketherest Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I'll start out by saying "I think" and wish I am wrong. I've already made the mistake of accusing her. And told her I was sorry to hurt her that way. After when I though about it, it was my fear, insecurity and other problems I was expressing in a really stupid way. After five years, of being together I found out that she was in a massage/prostetution place on more than one occasion. I hurt really bad and don't no what to do. Did she have sex or a massage, I don't know. I won't ask her, that mistake hurts too. Were in a rough patch, and we have always worked things out before. I'm desperatly in love with her and completly devistated at the same time. I don't know what to do, I can hardly move, I haven't eat much for 2 days or so. I need to do someting with this. I can't type anymore for now, I don't feel like I'm making any sense.
jnj express Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 If you are in a relationship, and it is not going good, then what have you got to lose by confronting, What IS you GF doing in a sex parlor----there are tons of straight massage parlors everywhere----just ask her---or you can continue to let your imagination run wild, and grind your stomach, and make yourself sick----what do you wanna do----if she is not messing around she will tell you, then it is up to you to watch her body language to see if she is telling the truth Don't be afraid---remember faint heart never got the fair lady.
Author Liketherest Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 I appreciate the reply, I need to think this through. If I confront her I may make turn the situation into something I can't control or live with very easily emotionaly. Sure, I'll head down the road if she is infact going, i don't know that yet. Yes we are in a rough patch or breaking up at the moment,I don't want to burn a bridge by over reacting. LTR
Daniel89 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Dude, I can tell your hurt. It's worse that your unsure and don't know if she cheated or not. It might just be your mind playing tricks on you, but you need confirmation if shes cheating or not. Best thing I suggest is to do some snooping. Check her computer history and text messages for any possible saucy messages. If she has absolutely no evidence then I reccomend computer spying software and phone spy software Good luck man, and keep us updated on your situation.
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 A massage parlour for women? Really?? WHERE??? I never heard of such a place for women!
Gman95670 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I'll start out by saying "I think" and wish I am wrong. I've already made the mistake of accusing her. And told her I was sorry to hurt her that way. After when I though about it, it was my fear, insecurity and other problems I was expressing in a really stupid way. After five years, of being together I found out that she was in a massage/prostetution place on more than one occasion. I hurt really bad and don't no what to do. Did she have sex or a massage, I don't know. I won't ask her, that mistake hurts too. Were in a rough patch, and we have always worked things out before. I'm desperatly in love with her and completly devistated at the same time. I don't know what to do, I can hardly move, I haven't eat much for 2 days or so. I need to do someting with this. I can't type anymore for now, I don't feel like I'm making any sense. I believe the first thing you need to do is pull yourself together as best as you can. You need to be strong and level-headed to get through this. I know it may be hard, but not impossible. One approach you might consider is to tell her that you would like to get a massage to help you deal with some of the stresses in your life. Tell her you would like to go to the same place she goes. Judge her reaction. If she suggests the place is not a good one for you, ask her to elaborate. Don't accuse her of any wrong doing, just listen. If she has no problems with you going, then head on over and get a massage. You might even want to invite her to get one with you. Then you can judge for yourself if the place is a legal massage parlor or one that specializes in "happy endings." If it is the latter, then you'll know she has probably engaged in some sexual activities at the place.
jnj express Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Actually what your situation really is, is that the two of you have been shackin-up for 5 years. Neither of you have any responsibility to the other That responsibility ONLY comes when you take sacred vows She is free to do what she wants, and with whom she wants, as are you----If you want to be serious about all of this then get married, otherwise stop whining, as of now, you have no rights as to what she does
spriggig Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Actually what your situation really is, is that the two of you have been shackin-up for 5 years. Neither of you have any responsibility to the other That responsibility ONLY comes when you take sacred vows She is free to do what she wants, and with whom she wants, as are you----If you want to be serious about all of this then get married, otherwise stop whining, as of now, you have no rights as to what she does Because a legal contract is required for a committed relationship? I didn't know 1950 had internet access.
jnj express Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 What's the commitment-----and don't give me this crap about 1950----tell me the commitment----all two people who are living together are doing is shakin-up----prove it to me otherwise No mge., you can do what you want, and walk at any time--- --problem even in mge. for a good percentage there isn't solid commitment there either---hence cheating----
spriggig Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 --problem even in mge. for a good percentage there isn't solid commitment there either---hence cheating---- Exactly. __________________________
linwood Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 To the OP. If your lady is not a licensed massage therapist she is working in some sort of brothel. That`s simply the fact of the matter. If you can`t live with this move on or get her to quit. What's the commitment-----and don't give me this crap about 1950----tell me the commitment----all two people who are living together are doing is shakin-up----prove it to me otherwise What exactly is the commitment within marriage? Have you seen the divorce rate? How does a state sanctioned relationship mean more of a commitment? A piece of paper is not a commitment. A commitment can only exist in a persons mind paper or no paper. Please join us in the 21st century...err.. most of us.
Author Liketherest Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 Thanks for all the posts. I'm trying to keep my head on strait this is a tough time, my typing/spelling gets even worse than worse when I face this subject. I did confront her and she denied cheating. Bear with, I can not give out my sources. So, I told her that the reason I was asking was because I found a number on her cell phone that when goggled led to massage/sex. I googled the number in front of her(watching her reaction) she still said there was no involvement with her, that is highly unlikely anyone else would have used her phone. I hated putting her through the questions and told her that. I told her that it was "eating at my mind" and I had to talk about. Although I want to belive her I need to protect myself, that's why I came here.
Author Liketherest Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 OP, the only reason for a woman to be in a massage parlor is to service the customers. Dude, your gf is a hooker. If I look in the dictionary under "clueless" will your picture be there? I don't think your post is productive in me working on my problem. If it's ment to be a joke, then I can laugh at it, otherwise it's unproductive trash.
imagine Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Do not confront unless you have positive proof. Trust me, it is very difficult to eat your own words and speaking untruths lowers your credibility to every body. Keylog her computer and put a VAR under the seat of your car.
turnera Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Or hire a PI to follow her. You have to have proof one way or the other.
jnj express Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I don' think you can go any further using the mess. prlr. Start looking at other things---e-mail, texting, cell phone usage to specific #'s----body language, change in dress, and demeanor,---also look at schedule---is she doing things differently with her time. How many times has she frequented the mess. prlr., and when????
txsilkysmoothe Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Liketherest, You really aren't stating the facts clearly. Why don't you go to this massage parlor and check it out for yourself? Women generally don't go to such a place for sex and don't usually pay a stranger for sex when they cheat. If you hired a PI, he should have provided some very clear evidence and if he didn't, you shouldn't be accusing her until you know more.
michelangelo Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Usually, when an upset BF says her GF is a whore she is not technically a prostitute. Dude, unless she is there as a customer, then she is there in a working capacity. Pull your head out of the sand.
Author Liketherest Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 Liketherest, You really aren't stating the facts clearly. Why don't you go to this massage parlor and check it out for yourself? Women generally don't go to such a place for sex and don't usually pay a stranger for sex when they cheat. If you hired a PI, he should have provided some very clear evidence and if he didn't, you shouldn't be accusing her until you know more. I have my reasons, you just have to trust me on that. There is security clearance at her work involved. And the PI bill could be huge, and if it goes that far, why don't I just leave? I'm hoping this is a misunderstanding and that I'm not dabling in wishful thinking to not have this problem.
Author Liketherest Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 the "palor" is MW-MW she easily afford a date with the guy, that is part of why something like this could bother me so much. I am trying to go to the parlor and get that part out of my head.
young&inlove Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I believe the first thing you need to do is pull yourself together as best as you can. You need to be strong and level-headed to get through this. I know it may be hard, but not impossible. One approach you might consider is to tell her that you would like to get a massage to help you deal with some of the stresses in your life. Tell her you would like to go to the same place she goes. Judge her reaction. If she suggests the place is not a good one for you, ask her to elaborate. Don't accuse her of any wrong doing, just listen. If she has no problems with you going, then head on over and get a massage. You might even want to invite her to get one with you. Then you can judge for yourself if the place is a legal massage parlor or one that specializes in "happy endings." If it is the latter, then you'll know she has probably engaged in some sexual activities at the place. I think this is one of the best ideas for this situation. I would ask her slyly but not like your prying. Just say you want to plan a couple’s massage, if that’s what it turns out to be and see what she says or does. You never know. Did you talk to the people on the other end of the number from her phone? How did you know it was a parlor to begin with? Google isn’t always right hun.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 After five years, of being together I found out that she was in a massage/prostetution place on more than one occasion. I hurt really bad and don't no what to do. Did she have sex or a massage, I don't know. uh, you go to a massage place to get a massage. You go to an erotica massage parlor for more than just a massage....otherwise you go to a regular, non-sexual massage therapist. Make no mistake....she went there for more than a massage. if she is telling you nothing happened.........she's a liar.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 on 2nd thought dude, don't even bother confronting her. just get rid of her and find someone worthy.
Author Liketherest Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 I think this is one of the best ideas for this situation. I would ask her slyly but not like your prying. Just say you want to plan a couple’s massage, if that’s what it turns out to be and see what she says or does. You never know. Did you talk to the people on the other end of the number from her phone? How did you know it was a parlor to begin with? Google isn’t always right hun. Belive I hope Google is wrong, your a right, and she is telling the truth. Problem is the number comes in, and then out for multiple minutes. She claims no knowledge. I call the number and asked for a masage and they were like, "huh and click. I tried again, some other ways, but no dice. Maybe the whole thing is a big mix up that occured durring a really rough patch and my mind went nuts putting all these ideas togteher. i'm pretty sure my GF would have fessed up this morning and said yes to infidelty, she is that way and not afraid to face hard facts.
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