Incognito3 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 To make a long story short... My boyfriend broke things off with me when I moved back to the midwest. We never "officially" broke up but once I had moved back he let me know that he thought we had broken up since I moved away. I think he had been wanting to break up for a while. I recently moved back (3 months ago) and then we started "hooking-up", but he said he no longer had the desire to be in a relationship with me or anyone else. He said he loves me just as much as in the beginning of our relationship, but that he just has fear of being in a committed relationship. This has absolutely broken my heart, and I have continually had to tell him we can't hook-up anymore, but we end up hooking up again despite my reservations. This past Monday night we were together and we stayed up all night talking about why he felt this way and he was crying a lot saying he didn't want to never see me again, but that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship. I told him I may never be able to talk to him again, at least for a very long time. However, I emailed him today letting him know that I completely understand and respect his decision, and that I am open to us staying in touch and being friends. Do you think this was the wrong strategy for me to take if I want to win him back? Maybe I should have just said "no, I have to completely cut you out of my life if you do not want to be with me." I just don't know what the best strategy is to get him back. Would love some advice.
graywolf Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 best strategy: live your life without him in it. Don't make an effort to be friends basically, as that will make it harder for you to move forward. Just move forward in life so that you may find someone who is willing to be in a real relationship or until he's ready to be in one. But either way, move on so that you're not stuck on this. Tell him that you're moving forward because he's not ready and then move forward. IT'll turn out great for the both of you.
Author Incognito3 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 Thanks Graywolf... It's so hard to move on without contacting him though... I am so lonely and I miss having him in my life. But you are right, it is the best thing to do. I will just try and not contact him... maybe he will miss me being gone from his life, but I doubt it because he did fine without me before when I lived far away for 4 months, and didn't change his mind while I was away. I think if this was going to work out, it would have by now ugh, i'm so sad, i hate this. it's so aweful loving somoeone and having them not love you back... so sad.
Ilovecake Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 He's telling you he wants the free, no stings attached nookie but none of the responsibility of being in a relationship.
Author Incognito3 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 so do i have a chance of getting him back you think? or no? maybe if i just refrain from contacting him, he will want me back eventually? although he did say that he thinks we will never get back together again.
Author Incognito3 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 and he always talks about how wonderful a person i am, how beautiful i am and how i'm one in a million... don't know if that plays into him eventually wanting me back?
Recommended Posts