USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Is 'attractive' the same as 'not unattractive'? That is, do you find someone attractive just because they're not unattractive, or do they have to surpass a higher bar of attractiveness in your mind to actually be deemed attractive to you? Practically speaking, would you date someone who you find to only be 'not unattractive', or do they have to be more attractive than the "bare minimum"? Or are these two things the same to you? Or do you not care...? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Whenever I've used the term "not unattractive", I found the person perfectly fine but was not attracted to them. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentVoice Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 I don't really understand the question. But I have a thing for people that are not generally what is considered attractive. I don't know . Like I said I don't understand the question Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 I don't really understand the question. Would you date someone who wasn't ugly but also wasn't attractive enough to get you all hot and bothered...? Or do you need to be hot and bothered...? Link to post Share on other sites
Gero Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 I dated someone that I didn't think was attractive and it turned out that I fell for her and I later found her very attractive. It was strange. It also was the only relationship that I ever had. It only lasted 2 months and it was 11 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Would you date someone who wasn't ugly but also wasn't attractive enough to get you all hot and bothered...? Or do you need to be hot and bothered...? A person's appearance is not the only factor in whether or not they are attractive to me. Intelligent conversation, great sense of humor, and at least decent looking is what makes me willing to learn more about them. It is just a date after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 A person's appearance is not the only factor in whether or not they are attractive to me. Intelligent conversation, great sense of humor, and at least decent looking is what makes me willing to learn more about them. It is just a date after all. Oh, I absolutely agree...and oftentimes the nonphysical traits of a person will make him/her more physically attractive...I guess this is more a question of whether you'd settle for someone who was simply not unattractive to you, rather than pass and wait for someone who was truly attractive to you... Link to post Share on other sites
gamma1 Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 They are different. I think I'm both "not unattractive" and "not attractive". Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 The taste I have in women is out of this world. I seriously think my gf his hot on levels rarely seen in the human race. So my answer to the question I think you are asking is: NO I must find the person I date attractive... BUT I don't give a damn what other people think about my gf as long as they are not trying to piss me off. If a guy just walked up to me and my gf and said something rude I'd want to destroy him... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Oh, I absolutely agree...and oftentimes the nonphysical traits of a person will make him/her more physically attractive...I guess this is more a question of whether you'd settle for someone who was simply not unattractive to you, rather than pass and wait for someone who was truly attractive to you... What are you asking then? When you say "not unattractive" are you referring to their appearance only, or their total package including both physical and non-physical traits? Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 What are you asking then? When you say "not unattractive" are you referring to their appearance only, or their total package including both physical and non-physical traits? I quickly realized that this was not a very good question and the whole premise of my thread was kind of silly...it seemed to make a lot more sense in my mind... But I'm referring to just physical appearance... Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 If they weren't unattractive to me, but still not someone I'd want--I guess I would still give it a go if she were good in other areas. Not in a position to pick & choose much, honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 Ok, maybe a better way to rephrase the question: If you met someone that wasn't physically unattractive to you but also wasn't "hot-n-bothered" attractive, would you give that person a chance to become more "total-package" attractive? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Ok, maybe a better way to rephrase the question: If you met someone that wasn't physically unattractive to you but also wasn't "hot-n-bothered" attractive, would you give that person a chance to become more "total-package" attractive? I have done that, yes. Mostly in a situation where I've met that person socially or through work. And that works because there is an opportunity to really get to know them in different settings and situations. For example, there have been not unattractive guys that have totally become hot to me after seeing them in action at work. Same for guys who were friends of friends, including my last ex who was in my life one way or another for 20 years. I think it's much harder to get to know someone well enough to become total-package attractive in a random dating scenario. Because the only time you see them is on "dates". A date is such a small slice of a person, like visiting Fisherman's Wharf and a restaurant, and then thinking you "know" San Francisco. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 I've dated and had relationships with guys who wouldn't be considered hot by universal standards. But they were hot to me. I don't get this dating people you're not that attracted to or not attracted to at all, for any reason. It just smacks of settling, something that most people live to regret. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 (edited) do you find someone attractive just because they're not unattractive, or do they have to surpass a higher bar of attractiveness in your mind to actually be deemed attractive to you? The not unattractive is very important to me. If a guy manages to be unattractive the recover is almost impossible. And usually, the guys that I found the most attractive didn't start out that way. I found them more attractive as I got to know them over time. I'd say that in my mind they surpassed a higher bar of attractiveness to me. Edited July 9, 2010 by Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 If you met someone that wasn't physically unattractive to you but also wasn't "hot-n-bothered" attractive, would you give that person a chance to become more "total-package" attractive? Yep! I wasn't SUPER attracted to my ex-bf's looks when I first met him, but I thought he was decent looking. Not unattractive, but not someone that would cause me to do a double-take. But I loved his personality, we clicked very well, and we ended up being together for three years. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 If you're not unattractive - you may be within the spectrum of attractive to the individual, but they, however, do not seem to find you on the level of datable attractiveness? It's just not what they're into. For Example... Some women love skinny boys... with emo hair... and tons of piercings, tattoos and ragged clothes. Not me. some women love burly, hairy men... with emo hair LOL... no. With long or short hair... scruff... dirty, coarse hands and a decent low end job. Not me. Other women love round/horizontally challenged boys... heh Not me. Some women love clean cut, fit men, with a good job, some free time, but not much, etc, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
brainygirl Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Not attractive = average normal looking person who doesn't stand out for being ugly and doesn't inspire panties to drop. Unattractive = ugly. Overly fat, smells terribly, can't dress him self and probably thinks he's god's gift to females. Personally, I am more attracted to the person's character and personality than I am to their looks. I'd rather date someone who looked a little goofy but was kind and fun than date someone who was hot stuff, but lacked brains or was mean. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 there you go guys, looks don't matter. That thread was hilarious though (girls text and subtext constantly didn't align). Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 there you go guys, looks don't matter. That thread was hilarious though (girls text and subtext constantly didn't align). On the contrary, it seems the responses in this thread show that looks matter to a degree...women are willing to date guys that may not be super attractive as long as they aren't unattractive...at least I think... Link to post Share on other sites
Curious-One Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 i have no idea what you are saying lol Link to post Share on other sites
vestigalvirgin Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 You got to give them a chance to let you see them naked before you make the final judgment. Sometimes it's hard to tell how physically attractive someone will actually be until clothes are removed. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 "Not unattractive" for me would mean that I didn't have that initial jolt of "OMG is he HOT!" but could mean later attraction based on personality. I've met guys before who did nothing for me in the looks department, but then I got to know them, and WOW! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Barring simply unattractive - Whether a man is traditionally attractive, hot, good looking, whatever...I am basically indifferent until I find that ....little thing. It can be an expression, a way of saying something, his manner of dress, his sense of humor, who knows what it will be. But until I find that...I'm nearly indifferent to the visual. But...the same type of small thing can take a man from attractive to out of the question. Link to post Share on other sites
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