Amanaman Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I met a girl online a few months ago and we very quickly became good friends, with regular contact throughout. I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out, which she accepted and seemed enthusiastic about. We were going to set a date, but all of a sudden she stopped contacting me which lasted over the course of a month. I had started to lose hope until she finally emailed me with an explanation - due to her current home circumstances she had become depressed. She also expressed that she was convinced I would not reply as she assumed that acquiring this knowledge would turn me away before saying that she is not ready for a relationship until she is over this. From experience, how does this situation often pan out? I'm a patient person if I believe something is worth the wait and there have been hints that we like each other. But I would hate to lose all that we have built up and it pains me not being able to be there for her through a lack of contact. We also live a fair distance apart so communication is largely restricted to the internet for now, sadly.
Gero Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I have an experience that might help you. I myself have issues with social anxiety and depression. I met a wonderful girl online and basically ruined things by constantly doubting myself and then trying to explain my actions and it was too awkward for her to continue to deal with. Eventually she just told me to call her when I am over my issues. She's really nice and understanding, but apparently even she couldn't deal with it. Dealing with someone who has depression is really hard because a lot of times their self-esteem is tied to how you treat them. No matter how loving you are, it's going to take a big toll on you in the long run. It's best to be friends for now and be there for her instead of rushing into things. That's just my take on the whole thing.
Author Amanaman Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 This is the thing, I want to be there and support her but the fleeting contact is preventing me from doing so. I don't want to rush things either, I'd rather things took a gradual course which is why it took me a while to finally ask her out. At the same time I obviously don't want her to lose interest though.
yume Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 If you're continuously there for her in a supportive role I'm fairly sure she isn't going to lose interest in you. Be happy that she was truthful by telling you she wasn't ready...it certainly has saved you a lot of potential pain down the road.
Author Amanaman Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 I just worry that we will lose our momentum
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