Star Gazer Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I feel obligated to share this with everyone. A few weeks ago, in the midst of my heartbreak, I asked a friend, "How will I get over this? When will I feel better?" And she said the following: "I so wish there was a magical solution. I really do. It will get better though, I promise, each day. And each day will become weeks, weeks become months, things get normal again. And remember, whether it seems like it or not, each minute that passes by - it is getting better. Just like a cut begins to heal immediately and gets better with each passing minute, so does your heart. Much like a cut, you keep watching it and it seems to do nothing - but one day, you wake up, and it's all of a sudden scabbed over. Our hearts are like that too. My mom told me that once. For some reason, her saying that gave me happiness and perspective in a moment when I really needed it. After that, at any instance that I was hurting, I thought to myself, I might feel this way now, but my heart is secretly healing this very moment. It kind of became my mantra. Hopefully I can pay it forward to you..." Re-reading this over and over and over has really helped me the past month since my relationship ended. In fact, I know she (or really, her mom) was right. So now it's my turn... to pay it forward to all of you. Hope it helps.
GrayClouds Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I feel obligated to share this with everyone. A few weeks ago, in the midst of my heartbreak, I asked a friend, "How will I get over this? When will I feel better?" And she said the following: "I so wish there was a magical solution. I really do. It will get better though, I promise, each day. And each day will become weeks, weeks become months, things get normal again. And remember, whether it seems like it or not, each minute that passes by - it is getting better. Just like a cut begins to heal immediately and gets better with each passing minute, so does your heart. Much like a cut, you keep watching it and it seems to do nothing - but one day, you wake up, and it's all of a sudden scabbed over. Our hearts are like that too. My mom told me that once. For some reason, her saying that gave me happiness and perspective in a moment when I really needed it. After that, at any instance that I was hurting, I thought to myself, I might feel this way now, but my heart is secretly healing this very moment. It kind of became my mantra. Hopefully I can pay it forward to you..." Re-reading this over and over and over has really helped me the past month since my relationship ended. In fact, I know she (or really, her mom) was right. So now it's my turn... to pay it forward to all of you. Hope it helps. It is a sweet sentiment though it suggest a bit too passive of a role in healing. One can sit and wait to feel better or they can tighten up there laces and go out an do some of the hard work that will not only help them feel better but actually become better. Being active in the healing process helps learn from our mistakes, discover better patterns of behavior, and take control of our lives. A passive healing process often offer only scare tissue the covers up the hurt and is easy (and quite often) ripped open by the next EX.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 It is a sweet sentiment though it suggest a bit too passive of a role in healing. One can sit and wait to feel better or they can tighten up there laces and go out an do some of the hard work that will not only help them feel better but actually become better. Being active in the healing process helps learn from our mistakes, discover better patterns of behavior, and take control of our lives. A passive healing process often offer only scare tissue the covers up the hurt and is easy (and quite often) ripped open by the next EX. I do agree with you. I certainly wasn't advocating being passive about healing... Lordie, all I've been doing for the past month is being an active participant in getting better and moving on. I suppose I just think of that effort as being for me, not to heal a broken heart. Does that make sense? It's as though, I'm spending all this time and energy making me a better me, a happier me, a more complete and full me... and while I'm doing that, my heart just so happens to be secretly healing. But I do agree that working on yourself and healing from heartbreak are inextricably linked. Can't really have the latter without the former.
SadandConfusedWA Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 It is a sweet sentiment though it suggest a bit too passive of a role in healing. One can sit and wait to feel better or they can tighten up there laces and go out an do some of the hard work that will not only help them feel better but actually become better. Being active in the healing process helps learn from our mistakes, discover better patterns of behavior, and take control of our lives. A passive healing process often offer only scare tissue the covers up the hurt and is easy (and quite often) ripped open by the next EX. I liked the OP. I really don't think that we can force ourselves to heal. Sitting at home and wallowing in self-pity is one thing. But I know that after my ex pretty much ripped my heart out years ago, even after I fully went NC, even after I forced myself to go out, exercise, even date...Even after all that - there was an ever present free floating sadness that I couldn't quite shake. It was at the back of my mind at all times.
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