bitlost Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 So. Basically i fell in love with this guy. Younger to me. and after some time, during which we got reallllly close and i just couldnt imagine a life without him, and he said forever is too short to be together and i was his everything and ****. he turned around one day and said - i 'm sorry to break ur heart, but i have to end it because we have no future together. You dont measure up. It was a mistake. The pain - the absolute misery that this has left me with. It broke my heart, it crushed my SOUL. Its still doing that to me. I am so so so so very lost. I know i love him still. and i'm going broken all over the place while he is cool and calm and composed and all mature. Please help me - how do i move on? I just cant. Inspite of telling meself to not do it, every second of my time, the only thought in my head is him. I cant bear the thought of him not loving me. cant bear the thought of him loving someone else. narrating to her about his ex-s, and mentioning me as just a 'mistake' that happened. HIM who said all those things to me - just casually mentioning me as a mistake. HIM teling me so coldly - love is over, go easy with the language and ****. He says he wants to be friends though - just chit chat and stuff. Wtf does that mean? Should i be friends with him? I feel so pathetic. so pathetic. all i did was embarass meself with my crying and ranting non stop. HOW can i be friends with him? i love him. I'm just terribly lost and hurting so bad. Why is loving someone sincerely and truly such a bad thing?
HeavenOrHell Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Sorry you're hurting so much hun, I've been there, most of us on LS have been there, I was left after 18 years a year ago, thought I would never move on, it felt unbearable. I tried to stay friends with my ex but it was keeping me stuck in the past unable to let go, and kept up the hope alive of him coming back, after 7 months I stopped contact and from that point I started to move on. I am now in love with someone else. For your own sanity stop ALL contact with him. I am now able to be friends with my ex, now we are both with other people. But friendships with ex's won't work for everyone. If someone doesn't want to be with us then they are not the right person for us anymore, maybe in some cases they were never the right person for us. Why would we want someone who doesn't want us? It's pointless, a waste of energy. Keep busy, make new friends, things will get better, trust me So. Basically i fell in love with this guy. Younger to me. and after some time, during which we got reallllly close and i just couldnt imagine a life without him, and he said forever is too short to be together and i was his everything and ****. he turned around one day and said - i 'm sorry to break ur heart, but i have to end it because we have no future together. You dont measure up. It was a mistake. The pain - the absolute misery that this has left me with. It broke my heart, it crushed my SOUL. Its still doing that to me. I am so so so so very lost. I know i love him still. and i'm going broken all over the place while he is cool and calm and composed and all mature. Please help me - how do i move on? I just cant. Inspite of telling meself to not do it, every second of my time, the only thought in my head is him. I cant bear the thought of him not loving me. cant bear the thought of him loving someone else. narrating to her about his ex-s, and mentioning me as just a 'mistake' that happened. HIM who said all those things to me - just casually mentioning me as a mistake. HIM teling me so coldly - love is over, go easy with the language and ****. He says he wants to be friends though - just chit chat and stuff. Wtf does that mean? Should i be friends with him? I feel so pathetic. so pathetic. all i did was embarass meself with my crying and ranting non stop. HOW can i be friends with him? i love him. I'm just terribly lost and hurting so bad. Why is loving someone sincerely and truly such a bad thing?
Author bitlost Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 dear heavenorhell, thank you for your kind words. in theory i already know all that you said, and yet, coming from you, they are like a balm. i have now stopped all contact with him. though the first thought that floats in my mind the minute i wake up is him, followed by an endless sense of loss. its a struggle to resist the temptation of writing just "i love you" and sending him an email. or leave him an offline message. it makes me insane. I dont know to deal with this? i cant focus on my work, when i talk to people, their words float by past me, as my mind just wanders to him. when i am alone (which is a many hours in a day), all i do is sit and cry. i'm hurting so much
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