deux ex machina Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I'm 1,2,3, probably 7 and maybe a couple of others. I don't think I qualify. I had a feeling I was going to catch heat for that post.
gamma1 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I had a feeling I was going to catch heat for that post. I honestly think your list is common for women. Changing so 1,2,3 and 7 don't apply to me is easier said than done. These lists do help me in that I know what I must change if I want a chance with women.
bananaboat11 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 (edited) Deal or no deal? 1. You find out she recently broke up with the guy she was seeing, or worse... he dumped her. 2. she's hanging out with her last ex of a close relationship more than 2-3 times per week. 3. She gets drunk texts that are provocative and flirtatious and initially tells you about it... LIKES the attention... and continues to get them and doesn't think it makes you feel uncomfortable knowing this person likes her... and won't stop. As far as he knows... she's still single. 4. She goes from being vegan... to vegetarian... to an omnivore... back to vegetarian... to being a vegan once again. 5. She flips a **** when she has 5 layers on top of her bed and when she tells you to get into bed, you get under the WRONG layer and she flips a ****, throws you out of bed so she can remake it. 6. She cuts. Yes... like... takes a scissor, or knife and cuts her arm/s. 7. She breaks down crying in bed multiple times even though YOU just began dating and she doesn't know yet... you didn't do anything yet,mind you. 8. She jumps on the emotional bandwagon and demands exclusivity at first (which is nice) WITH the title of boyfriend/girlfriend without getting to know you first... 9. She parades you around letting everyone know you're HER boyfriend. Um, really? O.o 10. Talks about the ex in any way, shape, or form... he's a ****ing ex for christ sake... concentrate on being with me if that's what you really want. I don't talk about mine. 11. Hates that i'm a full time graduate student and can't fathom the fact my time is limited and precious. 12. Can't understand my dedication to fitness, wellness, healthy nutrition, living, and wellness. 13. Is not patient. 14. SCREAMER. She yells a lot. Forget it, bye. 15. Doesn't want to start things slow. that's all i can think of for now... Edited July 9, 2010 by bananaboat11
brainygirl Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Is mean to people Drug and alcohol problems Hates kids Has a kid but doesn't take care of or see or send support to it sports or role playing game obcessed. lies cheats no ambition no car mental health issues lots of health problems controlling indecisive (the ole "what do you want?" "what ever you want" bull) still hung up on an ex Still being controlled by his parents I look at some, and they seem mean I guess.
Author potrzebie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 deal breakers : is taller than me refuses to do what i say is not totally hot looking is ugly is one of those girls who holds the stop signs on road construction projects does construction work of any kind is a truck driver is not wild in the bedroom is too wild in the bedroom tries to tell me what to do tries to 'dress" me will not put out after the 2nd date will not use dental floss wears conservative, ugly underwear will not get breast implants if i tell her she needs them buys me an electric shaver for christmas buys me any kind appliance for christmas chews tabacco will not do oral trys to take me shopping tells me i watch too much football tells me she doesn't want me skydiving anymore if she belches if she complains when i belch tries to make me watch movies like "sleepless in seattle" tries to make me watch any kind of movie tries to send me to the store to rent a movie tries to send me to the store for anything tries to make me do anything, actually will not go to the store for me when i need some thing AWEsome!! I'm loving this...it's so good to know there are other life-like people out there!
Author potrzebie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 1. Idolizes Sarah Palin 2. BO can be smelled a block away 3. Wants to be in the running for the fattest man in the universe 4. Picks nose and eats boogers 5. His mother is his sister (genetically) 6. Has a hunchback I have low standards. Ouch! I think I've MET this guy...ewwww
Author potrzebie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 Deal or no deal? 1. You find out she recently broke up with the guy she was seeing, or worse... he dumped her. 2. she's hanging out with her last ex of a close relationship more than 2-3 times per week. 3. She gets drunk texts that are provocative and flirtatious and initially tells you about it... LIKES the attention... and continues to get them and doesn't think it makes you feel uncomfortable knowing this person likes her... and won't stop. As far as he knows... she's still single. 4. She goes from being vegan... to vegetarian... to an omnivore... back to vegetarian... to being a vegan once again. 5. She flips a **** when she has 5 layers on top of her bed and when she tells you to get into bed, you get under the WRONG layer and she flips a ****, throws you out of bed so she can remake it. 6. She cuts. Yes... like... takes a scissor, or knife and cuts her arm/s. 7. She breaks down crying in bed multiple times even though YOU just began dating and she doesn't know yet... you didn't do anything yet,mind you. 8. She jumps on the emotional bandwagon and demands exclusivity at first (which is nice) WITH the title of boyfriend/girlfriend without getting to know you first... 9. She parades you around letting everyone know you're HER boyfriend. Um, really? O.o 10. Talks about the ex in any way, shape, or form... he's a ****ing ex for christ sake... concentrate on being with me if that's what you really want. I don't talk about mine. 11. Hates that i'm a full time graduate student and can't fathom the fact my time is limited and precious. 12. Can't understand my dedication to fitness, wellness, healthy nutrition, living, and wellness. 13. Is not patient. 14. SCREAMER. She yells a lot. Forget it, bye. 15. Doesn't want to start things slow. that's all i can think of for now... omg, you sound just like that last drunken naughty text that my ex-boyfriend/stalker sent me this morning at 2 a.m.--I can show it to you if you like, it was soooo cool! (no, but seriously, congrats on sticking to your grad program...)
White Dove Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 SmokerHeavy drinkerTakes everything way too seriously What I can think of for now.
Lady vs Panda Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Aside from the obvious...I deplore a man who can't hold his end up in an interesting conversation. Scintillating. I want wit and erudition. And I won't stick around long with a man who doesn't rub my back when I have my period.
bananaboat11 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 omg, you sound just like that last drunken naughty text that my ex-boyfriend/stalker sent me this morning at 2 a.m.--I can show it to you if you like, it was soooo cool! (no, but seriously, congrats on sticking to your grad program...) uh... I wha? She was the one getting the flirtatious texts. When I get them.. I ask the women to stop out of respect for the woman I'm with. I would assume that's only proper. She enjoyed getting those 'types' of texts.... she enjoyed the attention. If you're not satisfied with being with me and only me (not to sound controlling... yeah, she can go out and party with her girls)... but I don't want to know some dude is into you saying he wants to eat your pussy at 2am while I'm in bed with you... like, for f*cks sake... that **** isn't right.
Author potrzebie Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 uh... I wha? She was the one getting the flirtatious texts. When I get them.. I ask the women to stop out of respect for the woman I'm with. I would assume that's only proper. She enjoyed getting those 'types' of texts.... she enjoyed the attention. If you're not satisfied with being with me and only me (not to sound controlling... yeah, she can go out and party with her girls)... but I don't want to know some dude is into you saying he wants to eat your pussy at 2am while I'm in bed with you... like, for f*cks sake... that **** isn't right. nah, brah, i was just playin' witcha...that is so wrong, tho, i guess it's not even funny. some people just need that extra attention and nothing you do will ever be enough. i've been on both ends of it, receiving the inappropriate texts from clueless losers who can't respect how that makes my BF feel AND dating the clueless loser who can't respect how that might make ME feel...definitely a deal breaker for me too! i mean, we all need our little ego boosts, but the 2 a.m. stuff is too much. i don't need that kind of attention and i wouldn't want to be with someone who's that needy that my love isn't enough to make them feel manly-like...
samspade Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Obesity Smoking Drugs Heavy drinking Vegetarianism/veganism Poor attire (flip flops, sweat pants, doesn't take care of her appearance) Negativity Princess mentality Inordinate number of male friends Slutty past I think I just ruled out 98% of American females.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 1. (with a bullet) smokes 2. centers life around pleasure eating 3. republican/conservative 4. religious and repressed 5. won't give head or louses it up 6. dosen't freshen up at those apropiate times 7. always wants to hear music I effen hate--hip hop, some crappy "alternative rock" 8. must have construct interests of her own and not see me through co-dependent lenses 9. must understand that female orgasms are for the taking and not mine to give. Ergo, she must learn how to move and how to think 10. Attentiveness with savoire faire about expressing opposing opinions
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I once broke up with a man because he used DARLING as an adjective while we were looking at lamps. Things went down hill from there in many ways but it all started with that.
tman666 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Obesity Smoking Drugs Heavy drinking Vegetarianism/veganism Poor attire (flip flops, sweat pants, doesn't take care of her appearance) Negativity Princess mentality Inordinate number of male friends Slutty past I think I just ruled out 98% of American females. Dude, that pretty much sums it up for me too. It's very hard to find someone without one or more of these potential deal breakers. I dated a veggie for 2 years. I suppose that one isn't necessarily a deal breaker in and of it self. However, the self righteous smugness and superiority complex that seemed to accompany it were more than enough for me to forever eye vegetarians/vegans with suspicion.
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 (edited) mental health issues I look at some, and they seem mean I guess. This one is the only mean one. Some people have no possible control over the fact they have or develop mental health issues...But oh well, we all indeed have standards. Edited July 9, 2010 by alyssatranswarrior
sloudrou Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 This one is the only mean one. Some people have no possible control over the fact they have or develop mental health issues...But oh well, we all indeed have standards. Perhaps it's mean, but on the other hand, your boyfriend or girlfriend is not your therapist. Personally, I don't have a degree in psychology, so I'm not qualified to deal with things like that, and I think it's better to just be honest upfront about it. If any individual has mental issues that affect their future relationships, perhaps they would be better off getting professional help to resolve them BEFORE they get into a serious relationship. That said, here are some of the things on my list. Let me first qualify it by saying that while these might be relationship deal breakers, I might still date *some* of these people casually for one night with enough condoms, but nothing more than that. Often, the things that will ruin a relationship might make for a perfect one night stand if I'm not seeing anybody else at the time. 1. Nagging/controlling. Can't stand it, won't deal with it. If you don't like me as I am, you should be with somebody else. I don't want you or anybody else telling me what to do 24/7. 2. Drug use -- including anti-depressants. I just don't to deal with those issues. I don't want the police searching my house for whatever drugs you're on, I don't want to deal with you when you're stoned. 3. Smoking. Don't like smoke around, don't like it in my apartment, most smokers are litterers by trade, flicking their butts all over the place. I'm out. 4. Excessive drinking. I don't mind someone having a glass of wine with dinner, but if you're getting drunk enough to start fights, harm your health or develop a dependence on it, I'm out. 5. Is working as a stripper, a prostitute, and adult film star etc. Now these people might be alright for a one nighter, but you can't bring a stripper home to meet your family. You can't. 6. Excessive credit card debt. I don't mind if you've gone into debt to buy property or some other investment that will appreciate in value, but if you've just bought junk and put it on your credit card, it means you're materialistic and/or have no financial management skills. We all know what happens if you take the hand of someone who's in quicksand... 7. People who talk endlessly about past relationships, good or bad. If the ex was that good, maybe you should patch things up with him, if he was that bad, it's time to move on. Either way, let it go or let me go. Same goes for any woman who wants to cheat on her bf with me. Again, I might have a one nighter with you if I'm not with anyone else, but you'll only ever be a place-filler, keeping the seat warm. If you cheated on the guy you're with, there's a good chance you'll cheat on me later. 8. Women who are overly religious, refusing to have sex or withholding any other part of the relationship on religious grounds. it's okay if you believe in God or go to church once in a while, but if he's going to come before me in your relationship, maybe you should date him. 9. Excessive tattoos. Now if it's something small and unobtrusive, I don't mind, but if you're covered in tatts, I'm out. I don't particularly like them, and you can't bring someone like that home to meet your family, you can't take that person to a work function to meet your co-workers, you can't. Again, for one night with enough condoms, I might grin and bear it, but nothing more. 10. Single mothers (*dons flame proof jacket*). It's not that I hate kids, in fact I like kids, but I just don't want that responsibility in my life. Furthermore, most single mothers will tell you that their ex was a jerk or an a-hole, and yet, that jerk can still turn up whenever he likes wanting to see his kids, and I have to deal with him. No thanks. Now I might make an exception here if your kids are old enough to take care of themselves, and your ex was killed in a mining accident and is definitely out of the picture, but that would be the only time. 11. Things like really obvious physical and mental disorders. Look, I feel sorry for you, but I'm just not qualified to deal with those issues. I can't deal with things like BPD or manic depression or whatever. Same goes for past victims of abuse who still carry the baggage, I feel sorry for you, but you really should be getting professional help to resolve those issues. Now it's one thing if I'm already in a committed relationship with someone, and something happens to them and I stay there to try to help them through it, but it's something else to actually buy into a situation like that. Go and get help for your problem, and call me back when you've completed therapy. 12. People with poor diet/exercise/health generally. I make a point of eating good food and keeping myself in shape (I haven't been to a McDonalds in 15 years) and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the same in return. You don't have to look like a supermodel, but generally speaking if we have opposing views on this, there is going to be a fundamental lifestyle incompatability somewhere.
TheLoneSock Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I think I just ruled out 98% of American females. Lol, this made me laugh out loud. But I really don't think that % would be any different in other countries. American women may be a special demographic in that they excel especially in all these categories, but I don't see it being that different elsewhere in the world. If that makes any sense.
prettybaby Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 A man who has children from a previous relationship. I don't care how awesome the guy is; if he already has one or several kids, that rules him out in my book.
TheLoneSock Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 A man who has children from a previous relationship. I don't care how awesome the guy is; if he already has one or several kids, that rules him out in my book. You're one of the first women I've ever seen with that as a deal breaker. Maybe it's the same for many other women too, and they just don't voice it. Interesting. Just one more reason for a guy to not have an illegitimate child.
SilentVoice Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Sigh I don't like lists but I will try No goals in life...It is one to be going through a rough patch( but if you are not looking for a way to get out ) Deal breaker 1)No sense of humor... I spend most of my time laughing-- the raunchier the better (Be able to quote any Sasha Baron Cohen character -- and it is on) 2)Does not like to try new things... This ranges from new foods to new activities to the bedroom. 3)Intentionally rude to parents/guardian .... this just won't do 4)Religious but doesn't go by anything in their religion... Like seriously you can't claim to be a fully devoted christian and break 7 of the 10 commands on a daily basis ...can you say hypocrite 5)Mean to kids ...enough said 6)If you have kids ...and don't take care of them (Big deal breaker) 7)Let your family lead your life 8)Boring in bed... missionary just won't do 9)Looking for a mother in a relationship..I am not the one 10)Passive aggressive ...NO 12)Indecisive 13) Does not love his body ... You don't have to be in the best shape but should be in the best shape for you 14)No culture ... you should know who you are and where you come from Gosh I hate list , make me sound so cliche ... blah
Shakz Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Sigh I don't like lists but I will try No goals in life...It is one to be going through a rough patch( but if you are not looking for a way to get out ) Deal breaker 1)No sense of humor... I spend most of my time laughing-- the raunchier the better (Be able to quote any Sasha Baron Cohen character -- and it is on) 2)Does not like to try new things... This ranges from new foods to new activities to the bedroom. 3)Intentionally rude to parents/guardian .... this just won't do 4)Religious but doesn't go by anything in their religion... Like seriously you can't claim to be a fully devoted christian and break 7 of the 10 commands on a daily basis ...can you say hypocrite 5)Mean to kids ...enough said 6)If you have kids ...and don't take care of them (Big deal breaker) 7)Let your family lead your life 8)Boring in bed... missionary just won't do 9)Looking for a mother in a relationship..I am not the one 10)Passive aggressive ...NO 12)Indecisive 13) Does not love his body ... You don't have to be in the best shape but should be in the best shape for you 14)No culture ... you should know who you are and where you come from Gosh I hate list , make me sound so cliche ... blah That's a pretty good list, SV, although I completely disagree with deal-braker #11.
Shakz Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Sigh I don't like lists but I will try No goals in life...It is one to be going through a rough patch( but if you are not looking for a way to get out ) Deal breaker 1)No sense of humor... I spend most of my time laughing-- the raunchier the better (Be able to quote any Sasha Baron Cohen character -- and it is on) 2)Does not like to try new things... This ranges from new foods to new activities to the bedroom. 3)Intentionally rude to parents/guardian .... this just won't do 4)Religious but doesn't go by anything in their religion... Like seriously you can't claim to be a fully devoted christian and break 7 of the 10 commands on a daily basis ...can you say hypocrite 5)Mean to kids ...enough said 6)If you have kids ...and don't take care of them (Big deal breaker) 7)Let your family lead your life 8)Boring in bed... missionary just won't do 9)Looking for a mother in a relationship..I am not the one 10)Passive aggressive ...NO 12)Indecisive 13) Does not love his body ... You don't have to be in the best shape but should be in the best shape for you 14)No culture ... you should know who you are and where you come from Gosh I hate list , make me sound so cliche ... blah That's a pretty good list, SV, although I completely disagree with deal-braker #11.
snuggles302 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 (edited) Not finished second level schooling No College Education/Qualification of some sort Can’t drive Obnoxious Pretentious Not genuine Not trust worthy Full of himself Think they are god’s gift Extremely religious Not into nightlife Obsessive Control freak Doesn’t look after himself No sense of humour Boring Smells bad Bald head Too hairy Big ears Unfaithful Unkind Doesn’t like animals particularly dogs Pervert Into music I don't like Cockiness Can’t dance or bust some kind of move Smokes but willing to bend the rule a bit for that No job but would understand in these circumstances Bad dress sense Troublemaker Attention seeker Immature Impatient Talks about ex’s or is still friends or in still in contact with them Doesn’t like the fact that I’m partially vegetarian Doesn’t like the fact that I’m inexperienced when it comes to intimacy, as I am very shy and private and conservative when it comes to those things, if he doesn’t understand that he is out on his ear! If i want to go at a certain pace he needs to be able to deal with that if not then he is out If his into a lot of PDA in public, as I said above I’m very shy, private and conservative about that, I don’t mind a peck or a kiss but anything else other than holding hands would make me conscientious Doesn’t read books Doesn’t think for himself Doesn’t embrace his intelligence Extremely Lazy Not Friendly Very quiet Stuck up Set in their ways Not open or that they do not say how they feel to a certain extent Doesn’t speak up for himself/doormat Very loud If they put their foot in it and cross me they be likely walking out the door Into extreme sports like skydiving etc prefer my men into more practical sports like footy, soccer, rugby etc Drinks too much alcohol/Can’t handle a drink but I'm ok with teetotalers Talks about himself too much where I can’t get a look in Critical and overly opinionated in certain things Doesn’t share similar interest/values/beliefs Can’t make up their minds Needs approval from someone for certain things like their friends or family Doesn’t like babies/children Health problems/issues Not motivated No ambition/drive Lies/cheat Manipulative Takes things too seriously for certain aspects of life but then doesn’t for more serious things Doesn’t see two sides to every story Drunken texts/calls Doesn't believe in himself Negative Thinks looks is more important than personality Extreme perfectionist Possessive Drug user/past or present Political Money problems Kids from outside of marriage from a previous relationship at a very young age Not into traveling I have probably covered 99% the world's male population! Edited July 10, 2010 by snuggles302
gamma1 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Given that I'm a man in my late 30s and have never slept with anyone, I can't really afford to have dealbreakers.
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