sparks05 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 hi everyone, i am new here i have been dating this guy for about six weeks. he initiates the majority of contact & dates. brings me flowers. spends the night a couple times a week. we are having sex. neither of us are seeing other people. we act like a couple when we're together - holding hands in public, taking care of the other when sick. and recently he introduced me to his family. i don't want to bring up a relationship. but i can't help but wonder about the next step? that may sound silly - but he just got out of a 4 year LTR. although i don't feel like the rebound girl i still worry it's possible. just trying to figure this out as i am cautious to open my heart. but i do want to.
tigressA Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 When you say "just got out", what do you mean exactly? How long has it been since the relationship ended? I'm going to assume less than 6 months ago, so I would definitely be wary.
Author sparks05 Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 When you say "just got out", what do you mean exactly? How long has it been since the relationship ended? I'm going to assume less than 6 months ago, so I would definitely be wary. about 5 months ago
Daniel89 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Be wary indeed. He sounds like he's just making the effort to move on as quick as he can, though.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Hmm, I'd say it really depends on the person. I was out of a 2.5 year LTR for only 3 or 4 months before I met my current boyfriend. But I think a crucial point is whether or not he was the one who did the dumping (as unpleasant as it sounds). In my case, I had been with my ex for 2.5 years but for the last few months of the relationship I was pretty unhappy and considering breaking up. I ended it and was able to move on pretty quickly since I had become emotionally distanced from the relationship without even realizing it. So, did his girlfriend break up with him, or did he break up with her? Did he go through a lot of heartbreak and pain during the breakup?
Author sparks05 Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 Hmm, I'd say it really depends on the person. I was out of a 2.5 year LTR for only 3 or 4 months before I met my current boyfriend. But I think a crucial point is whether or not he was the one who did the dumping (as unpleasant as it sounds). In my case, I had been with my ex for 2.5 years but for the last few months of the relationship I was pretty unhappy and considering breaking up. I ended it and was able to move on pretty quickly since I had become emotionally distanced from the relationship without even realizing it. So, did his girlfriend break up with him, or did he break up with her? Did he go through a lot of heartbreak and pain during the breakup? they were on and off for the last half of the relationship - he said he wished he stopped it earlier but he got comfortable. she broke up with him, tried to get him back, and he said no. he doesnt talk about her much and from what i know (mutual friends) they are not in contact. i have not seen any red flags of heartbreak. im more concerned that maybe he cant be alone? i was in a 2 year relationship and although i broke it off, i still wanted to be single and on my own after.
I'm Batman Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I'm currently in the same situation like you, thinking that i'm the rebound with my current girl. Take these replies with a grain of salt. The more you read the more doubts pop into your head. I'd say continue what you're doing and leave all the doubts at the door. Do you both like each other? He introduced you to his parents at the 6month mark, shows he's pretty serious about you imo. Here's a tip i got last night from a girl friend, who's been in many different dating situations. If your bf is always thinking about the ex, or holding a grudge against her, than he's not over her. Although, hate and love are polar opposites, its still full circle and he's not ready to move on. Good thing I'm not in this situation, I hope you're not too.
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