sonikuri Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 27 we have been together 5 years but nothing seems to have changed. In the whole time we have been together he hasn't had a job, his family own a small business that he works for some times but that hardly makes him any money at all so we can never do anything together. In the 5 years I have known him I could probably count on one hand the places we have visited together and I find that 99% of the time I end up doing the things I want to do with my friends instead. I am a student and nearly finished studying so I can get a better job once I have qualified at the end of this year so I am looking to move forward but he just seems happy to waste his life doing nothing but smoking and hanging out with his friends (who are all the same as him). I find him hard to even be around any more even though I do love him because his jelousy is just to much. He gets jelous because I want to go out and do things and meet different people but then has no interest in doing anything together, he accuses me of cheating all the time and complains constantly that we have no love life but can't understand why I don't want to go near him is simply because I'm unhappy. I included him in every aspect of my life and he has met all of my family, I have met his mum, dad and brother but he says the rest of his family know about us but when I was at his house and his auntie and uncle turned up he made me stay in the front room and sneak out so they didn't see me which made me feel like some kind of idiot. He has a very large and close knit family but I've never been included in any get together not even when it is with his friends (like a friends wedding ect..) At first this didn't bother me and I accepted that we should wait until we were married as it would be more appropriate but after 5 years there isn't even any thoughts on getting engaged and there can't be because he isn't trying to do anything to improve his financial situation. I even try to ask him if he wants to go places and offer to pay and there is always some excuse or just ''yeah we will'' and it never happens so I have gotten to the point where I just don't feel like having him in my life is making me happy or making my life better. I have told him how I feel but all he does is self pity and make out like I'm a harsh person for not waiting around for him to ''sort himself out'' but after 5 years how much longer can he expect me to sit around watching my life pass me by? I find him to immature and I can't even have an adult conversation with him most of the time, he is a very negative person and he just brings me down but when I tell him it is over he doesn't accept it and harasses me. I feel guilty because he starts crying and sounding all sad and depressed saying how he loves me so much and makes out like I am a heartless person... I'm really confused because my head tells me one thing but my heart tells me another, especially when he is trying to make me feel guilty and I just don't know what to do... I don't think what I have said is unacceptable but he makes out like it is and it just messed with my head
LoveTruthChaos Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 He is emotionally blackmailing you to keep you by his useless side. You HAVE to leave him. I've been where you are now, and it's a very long story that I've forgotten some parts of (thank goodness) so I won't type it all out, but if you have any questions, please ask. This is the Universe's wake up call to you to leave so you can find a MAN who will give you everything you want. I wish you all the luck and strength in the world. It's not easy, but you MUST think of yourself right now.
Author sonikuri Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 He makes out like love is everything a relationship needs to work but I think it takes much more! love, respect, consideration, ect.... and he doesn't give me any of those things. He makes out like if you love someone you stick with them no matter what but if they are abusing that support surely you have a right to move on?
LoveTruthChaos Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 He makes out like love is everything a relationship needs to work but I think it takes much more! love, respect, consideration, ect.... and he doesn't give me any of those things. He makes out like if you love someone you stick with them no matter what but if they are abusing that support surely you have a right to move on? Love is only ONE factor out of many, you are absolutely right. I believe he's just being lazy to keep you by his side. You are a strong woman and I know you can do this. You must leave.
Author sonikuri Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 I posted this question somewhere else and some guy said I was selfish and just after money, I don't see how when I have had nothing off him for 5 years and supported him in everything... Am I selfish for wanting more from my life
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