Curious-One Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I have a few questions i would like some input one.. (Backround Story) Went swimming on a lake w a female cousin yesterday. While i was in the water swimming ,she was tanning in front of the lake. Some guy approached her, said "Hi, here is my phone number, Make sure you call me. OK!" than left. Later when she came in the water we ended up laughing about the incident and making jokes about the guy. I personally would never do that as i think it has a very low chance of working.. The guy didnt build and report with her , and expects you to call him first.. It also shows low confidence because he did not have the balls to ask for her number. I think this would have a very very low chance of working but it has to work on some girls right or he wouldn't be doing it. 2 Questions 1) If you were single is there any chance you call this guy if you found him attractive?? 2) Would you ever call a guy to set up a date, even if he did introduce himself and talk for a bit before giving you his number?
Ruby Slippers Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 2 Questions 1) If you were single is there any chance you call this guy if you found him attractive?? No. 2) Would you ever call a guy to set up a date, even if he did introduce himself and talk for a bit before giving you his number? No.
samspade Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 You're lucky to have a female here (Ruby) who is so honest. I'm a guy, but I can tell you straight up that your best bet is to ask for her number. You're a man, grab your balls, get the digits, call her up and arrange a date. Oh, and you have to plan the date too - and make the first move. You may get lucky and find a chick who takes the lead on ONE of these steps, but consider it gravy if you do. Giving your number to her communicates this: "I'm attracted to you but too scared of rejection to ask for your number. Hopefully you will take the initiative and call me." News flash: Women aren't attracted to guys who are intimidated by them. Next time ask, nay tell her to give you her number.
cdt76 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Ok. So I gave my number to a girl I introduced myselft to a couple of weeks ago. She didn't call. Is it too late to call her? I don't want to seem like a stalker or anything.
gamma1 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Very few women give up their numbers, even after a nice conversation. How can I call to set up a date if I don't have her number?
SilentVoice Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Unless the reason a guy gave me his number was , After we exchanged glances upon boarding opposite trains. And then he writes his number on the glass... then I may call him. But if a guy just walks to me and drops of his number , why waste my time. If he doesn't even have the balls to ask for mine ,why should I bother with something I didn't even ask for.
Author Curious-One Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 i ment to say build up report which pretty much means get to know each other before exchanging phone numbers.
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I almost never give my number to any men socially. If I dont know them, I dont want them to have it. Its a security thing. I have had many men give me their cards after brief conversations. The idea is that if I want them to call me I also give him mine. When I dont, they simply ask me to give them a call. I dont think its cowardly at all. Its polite, its completely socially acceptable. LOL. What happens after is this: I google them or ask around. If I'm still interested I call , meet for lunch. If that goes well, I give them my card. This is not unusual, its how it is often done - socially and professionally. If I'm not interested from the get go I ditch the card when I empty my purse. If I'm not interested after research, Ive dodged a bullet without rejecting or offending anyone.
a.friend Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 LOL. What happens after is this: I google them or ask around. If I'm still interested I call , meet for lunch. If that goes well, I give them my card. This is not unusual, its how it is often done - socially and professionally. If I'm not interested from the get go I ditch the card when I empty my purse. If I'm not interested after research, Ive dodged a bullet without rejecting or offending anyone. What happens if you Google him and you find no information about him?
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 What happens if you Google him and you find no information about him? Well, you have to consider that I am a professional woman over 40. Even when I was 30 I dated men in my age bracket...so, If a professional man over 30...or even a criminal ...doesnt show up on a search...where has been? What has he done? Living under a rock? I'd pass.
samspade Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 If you've piqued a woman's interest and built rapport (not "report"), then she will likely give you her number - IF you ask for it. You have to push her buttons, though. Part of the process is knowing what to say and how to say it. If you come across as meek, or submissive, she will sniff you out and only accept your number out of politeness, if at all. Giving a woman your number, or [shudders] your business card is totally weak. You must be bold, but in good humor (not insulting or arrogant), and make her laugh, smile, and find you interesting enough that she wants to get to know you better. There are no short cuts here. Get the number. Make the call (no texting). Arrange the date. Build rapport. Go for the kiss if you sense it's there. Be a man, stop worrying about outcomes and just do what you please.
a.friend Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Well, you have to consider that I am a professional woman over 40. Even when I was 30 I dated men in my age bracket...so, If a professional man over 30...or even a criminal ...doesnt show up on a search...where has been? What has he done? Living under a rock? I'd pass. I'm 32 and do not show up in a Google search.
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I'm really not saying there is anything inherently wrong with not showing up on a search...but that If I dont know a man, if I have not met him through mutual contacts...if I cant find out anything, me personally, I wouldnt call him. And regarding business cards, with your h0me # written on the back...its done all the time, I do it, everyone does it.
samspade Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 And regarding business cards, with your h0me # written on the back...its done all the time, I do it, everyone does it. I believe it is done - because most American men have no balls. But it won't get consistently good results. Getting the female's number works so much better because 1) it gauges her interest (though it does not guarantee a date), 2) it keeps the man in the driver's seat, and 3) he won't be sitting around waiting and wondering if she'll call. If a woman, on the other hand, gave me her card I would consider it a bold move on her part and certainly call her - because females are far less likely to take the risk to ask out a guy. It's a sort-of double standard, but we men have to deal with it.
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Yeah, I get it. I prefer it when a man gives me his card. I have zero problem calling a man who interests me. On the other hand, I'm not thrilled when I have to tell a guy NO, NO phone # for you. When they ask, I will say No, I dont give my number out but give me yours. Now that I think about it...guys dont wait by the phone do they? I mean, I do that all the time and hardly ever call anyone. I figure they dont really care because they are guys and just fishing. Am I being obnoxious??
gamma1 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 If you've piqued a woman's interest and built rapport (not "report"), then she will likely give you her number - IF you ask for it. You have to push her buttons, though. Part of the process is knowing what to say and how to say it. If you come across as meek, or submissive, she will sniff you out and only accept your number out of politeness, if at all. Giving a woman your number, or [shudders] your business card is totally weak. You must be bold, but in good humor (not insulting or arrogant), and make her laugh, smile, and find you interesting enough that she wants to get to know you better. There are no short cuts here. Get the number. Make the call (no texting). Arrange the date. Build rapport. Go for the kiss if you sense it's there. Be a man, stop worrying about outcomes and just do what you please. It's nearly impossible to build rapport with someone you just met since there's usually a lot of nervousness. I come off as meek and submissive since I'm nervous and this bold in good humor is a contradiction to me. It's almost impossible to get a number so I'll give her mine. Even if I do get the number, she usually doesn't answer or return my call. Texting has a higher chance at a response. Stop worrying about outcomes? Only laid back men who could care less about anything are like that and I promise I'm just the opposite.
2sure Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I feel terrible. And also kind of like...I should let the man be a man
gamma1 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I believe it is done - because most American men have no balls. But it won't get consistently good results. Getting the female's number works so much better because 1) it gauges her interest (though it does not guarantee a date), 2) it keeps the man in the driver's seat, and 3) he won't be sitting around waiting and wondering if she'll call. American men are generally overly agressive in demanding a kiss on the first date and sex quickly. I'd rather get to know her as a person first.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Maybe the schmuck was a network marketer selling Amway of some shi+. Maybe he's a Ted Bundy. That scenario almost sounds like him putting his card under random wndshield wipers. Definite douche.
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