whatitdo Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 OK, Ill try and keep this short and simple. 6 years ago Me and her dated for almost three years and she said she needed a break... 2 weeks later she was seeing somebody else and i found out on a social network site. a year later we ran into one another and we dated for 6 months and had a huge arguement(the girl i was seeing before her showed up at her job), she said she needed to think and never came back. 6 months ago we ran into one another. Month later went out of town for the weekend. She wanted to move in and i was against it. Said we should date and move slowly.. needless to say she moved in. Now she says she wants to move out and go back to the dating stage. I said i was against it... that it seems like she is doing the same thing all over again and i am not going to fall for it. She spent the next hour or so explaining that she loves me and wants us to make it work but feels like this is what is best for us to be able to make it work. Still said I wasnt sure and she said that either way she feels more comfortable getting her own place and we continue dating. If the only way i will stay in the relatinship is if she stays here then we should just break up now.... what do i do?????
jond77 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I think you should lose her. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
Rifareal Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 the way i see it she is playing with your emotions. i got a rule of thumb when it comes to exs. i never go back for a 2nd time except when i was the one who was at fault of the breakup. sometimes, we tend to be blind to what is really happening. you can get back with her BUT dont give your all but before you do so please think a 1000 times so you wont look like a fool.
Author whatitdo Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 Rifa, we never broke up. she just wants to get her own place. she came over last night and spent the night. we cuddled and kissed and such. I went to class this morning and came home and she moved everything but her couches. Now she wants to come back over and hang out later... here is my thing. I just dont like moving backwards. I mean if you love somebody like an old friend of mine said your in for a penny in for a pound. Plus she went out last night and when she got to my house she had deleted all her out going text messages which i found extremely funny. granted she does it regularly... but she text me 4 minutes before she got here... and when she got here she sat in her car for a second and played with her phone then came in... so no outgoing or incoming messages other than mine in a 2 day period????? yeah right
whatadeer26 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 You seem to be suspicious. Normally, our first feeling are correct. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants from you or from being single. She likes the comfort of a SO, but wants to be able to feel single and be single whenever she pleases. You are setting yourself up for her to walk out once again.
Author whatitdo Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 You seem to be suspicious. Normally, our first feeling are correct. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants from you or from being single. She likes the comfort of a SO, but wants to be able to feel single and be single whenever she pleases. You are setting yourself up for her to walk out once again. That is actually how i feel Deer. I mean when we sat and talked about it last night i realized she had all the wheels in motion. she had people prepared to help her move today, and had a guy from work who has a truck help her move the couches(which is I think is the individual that has sparked her interest). For me there is just too many coincidenses. Not to mention when i said i cant do it her automatic response was then we should go our seperate ways... I mean i asked her numerous times during our conversation if that is what she wants no matter what. And she swears she wants us together. She is being all loving and caring and such... it is eating at me. She refuses the fact that she just wants it over....
whatadeer26 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I went to my ex's house the night before she broke up with me. I asked her what was wrong, why has she been short with me when we talked Blah Blah Blah. I told her that I fully expected her to break up with me that night. She said no no she was dpressed from her family issues and she told me she was fine didn't think she was doing anything I had confronted her about. Well in 12 hours she broke up with me. Didn't have the heart to do it or confront me to my face. She is telling you this to string you along as a fall back. Why would you bungee jump without a string? You wouldn't. She wants the ability to come back when she jumps to the next guy incase he fails. It allows her to emotionally detach herself from you and ease out of the relationship.
GrayClouds Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Have the courage to want something more out of the people who came to care for you, NC, improve and move on.
vivrantflo Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Then you end it. Why is she taking control of the dynamic of the relationship? If you are not happy with the arrangement of your girlfriend moving out, tell her this. And if she wants to move anyway, then end it. No ifs ands or buts. All she's doing is slowly preparing you for another break up, and dude, I don't know how you went back to that so many times. Mentioning that she would like to go separate ways, is not a sign of someone wanting to be with you. Straight up. Moving out, in the meantime, staying together, and THEN breaking up with you, is a much, much cleaner break, as oppised to..living together, and then dumping you, and then having to worry about moving out while dealing with you trying to win her back. She sounds sketchy anyway, with the empty inbox/outbox and such. She already proved to you in the past that she'll leave you for another dude without battering an eyelash.... End it, and walk away knowing you will end up with someone you will feel more comfortable trusting
Author whatitdo Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 Then you end it. Why is she taking control of the dynamic of the relationship? If you are not happy with the arrangement of your girlfriend moving out, tell her this. And if she wants to move anyway, then end it. No ifs ands or buts. All she's doing is slowly preparing you for another break up, and dude, I don't know how you went back to that so many times. Mentioning that she would like to go separate ways, is not a sign of someone wanting to be with you. Straight up. Moving out, in the meantime, staying together, and THEN breaking up with you, is a much, much cleaner break, as oppised to..living together, and then dumping you, and then having to worry about moving out while dealing with you trying to win her back. She sounds sketchy anyway, with the empty inbox/outbox and such. She already proved to you in the past that she'll leave you for another dude without battering an eyelash.... End it, and walk away knowing you will end up with someone you will feel more comfortable trusting Well the break up was when i said I didnt want to do the move out and stay together and still date. But I feel ya FLO. Why i went back. well the first time we split we were about to get engaged and she got cold feet and couldnt tell me.... second time was my fault. This time.... i guess is mine to a point. The first time and this time i truly felt that she was in for the long hual. Good times and bad times... yet again she has proven that if thigns get bad she is going to bounce. I am not stup though FLO, i see it. I just didnt want to believe it ya know? i mean part of me truly felt that we ran into each other again for a reason. even now i truly believe it was for a reason. IT WAS FOR ME TO FINALLY REALIZE SHE DOESNT AND HAS NEVER LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY LIKE I FOR HER. When we first met she messed with a guy from work and i forgave her (which is why i think the truck guy is her new beau)..... when we first split she started dating a guy from work a week or two later (which means she was working on it prior to).... the second time we split my ex went to her job talking **** and she believed her over me. Refused to believe me and left... even though i did nothing. This time it is just her thinking that i am doing somehting wrong... not me doing anything wrong... nothing unconditional about that
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