Calendula Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 For those of you who believe in marriage, what do you want to say to your SO as your Vows on your wedding day? For those of you who are or have been married, what did you say to your SO as your marriage vows, and would you say anything different today than you did back then? If so, why? Personally, I believe that a wedding ceremony is primarily about proclaiming your feelings for your SO publicly, in front of your friends and family, so that you can share your joy with them. All the rest of 'what marriage is' or 'why to get married' has been thoroughly debated in other threads here on LS, but in this thread I primarily want to know what you would or did say to your SO to communicate your love and desire to join your life with theirs within the context of a marriage ceremony (however you define it). I have my own ideas regarding what I would say to the person I love, which I may still share, but I'm curious what others think or have said, and I don't yet want to bias the discussion.
Author Calendula Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Seriously? No one has anything they want to share on this topic? I know more people have read the question than have actually clicked on the thread, but still? No responses? Wow. In my perception, wedding vows are the promises you verbally make to your chosen partner in life. They are what you say when you formally and publicly tie your life to that of another. Your future relationship is based on these promises in some way or another. And no one wants to share the type of promises they have made or want to make? It seems like such a lack of response to this question might be interpreted to say something about so many of the people who end up here on LS and in this forum. Perhaps it might indicate that people feel wedding vows are too private or personal to share with an internet audience (even though you will be anonymous, and you already made them public to your friends and family). But perhaps it indicates that people who get married or want to get married don't think about these kind of promises as much as they should. Perhaps it indicates that most people are so busy complaining about what a mess their marriage currently is that they've forgotten the promises they made to each other when they got married to begin with. So, open field: Original question still stands: What would or did you say in your marriage vows? Why do you think so few people have volunteered their thoughts on this topic? If you believe in marriage in the context of joining your life to that of another for as long as you both live, what do you think wedding vows represent? If you have a different definition of marriage from immediately above, what is it, and within your own definition what do you think wedding vows represent?
young&inlove Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 My husband and I both had food poisoning on our "big" day so we skipped the vows. I really do wish we would have said them anyways though. If we did, here is what I think I would "promise". And just and FYI this is a RUFF draft. I so & so, take you, another so & so, to be my husband, my best and constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love and show you love unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you. I will forever laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
Woggle Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Do right by me and I will do right by you. It's as simple as that.
threebyfate Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 (edited) Since it was both our second marriages, we just allowed our Marriage Commissioner to use the cookie cutter one of love, honour and cherish. You can say a lot of things during the ceremony but those words are meaningless unless your actions mesh during your marriage. Even for my first marriage, we let our Priest do his thing. Not a mooshy person when it comes to words spoken in public, no offense to anyone who is. Edited July 16, 2010 by threebyfate
anne1707 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Good times and bad - and we have been tested and passed so far:love:
TaraMaiden Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 For many and varied reasons, I don't subscribe to the concept of 'forever'. Nothing is 'forever' and I think it misguided and ill-conceived to commit myself to promising something I have absolutely no way of guaranteeing I can live up to, just as much as I think it is misguided and ill-conceived to expect anybody else to make that promise to me. I would never hold anybody to that. if I should ever get married again, I'm afraid it will be for practical reasons of personal and financial security (and even that's not a guarantee!) rather than any deeply-held romantic ideals I might dreamily aspire to. At 53, I've been round the block too many times to hold a concept of cast-iron vows written in stone (excuse the mixed metaphors). At the most, I would promise to be the best spouse I can ever try to be, and maintain an open and honest communicative attitude. I would regard my partner with courtesy and respect, and would ask he treat me with equal courtesy and respect. And that would be the most I could offer.
BellaBellaBella Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 We did no online communities without mutual knowledge and particpation and no cheating without discussion with partner and then the usuals
spriggig Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I think my wife threw away the tape back when she started her affair. I asked her to look for it several times because I couldn't find it and I wanted to transfer it to DVD. She blew me off each time. I seem to remember something about "for better or worse" in there, but I guess I was mistaken.
OliveOyl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 It was NOT "till death do us part." The concept of "forever" was not specifically in our vows. Nor was there anything about "obey." Before I moved out I was curious and checked on that point. It was something like, "will you stand with him, whatever may come?" To be honest, it was pretty open to interpretation....
Citizen Erased Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 If you impregnate me with a few of your offspring and then start screwing around cos I'm not the same tight and fun person you fell in love with, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door. The last part Bruce Willis said at the concept of a hamburger with mayo. The line always cracked me up and I can't think of a more appropriate time to use it. But seriously, I have no idea. Probably the traditional ones but minus the obey part. The only one that orders me around is my cat.
Stung Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I took him as the husband of my days and he took me as the wife of his days. We said we were each other's best friends, promised to try to respect and love each other when life was easy and when it was hard, and when loving each other was simple and when it was an effort. We agreed to encourage each other in our endeavors, to laugh together, to comfort each other in times of sickness or sorrow, and to honor each other. It was a simple ceremony, about ten minutes long, conducted by my cousin, right by the water. There was also a section about us as a family mentioning his daughter and our son by name, and I gave my stepdaughter a sapphire bracelet to solemnize her becoming my daughter too (my engagement ring was sapphire, also).
aerogurl87 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Whenever I get married I'll probably say the traditional vows and probably keep that word "obey" in there not because I plan to be my husband's servant, but because I'm traditional and to me that word signifies that I'm promising to uphold his place as the leader of our family. Probably will say some of my own words also beforehand, but yeah I'll definitely keep it pretty traditional.
impz Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 We had traditional vows, and generally we were laughing so hard (the non-denomination pastor was so funny) that I didn't really remember much of it. I do remember the part about "A Happy wife makes a happy life. A happy husband makes a happy marriage." My wife uses it to threaten me whenever I piss her off. Which is pretty darn often! :lmao:
moonmosaic Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 "I promise to accept the way your are with your qualities, abilities and outlook on life; I won’t try to reshape you and make you someone else; I respect you as a person with your desires and interests. I promise to value your needs as equal as mine and face new challenges every day to keep our relationship alive; I promise to keep on loving you as I grow ageless and old and keep this promise to you, until my life comes to a halt…"
Recommended Posts