Chitowngirl Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 When I first met the MM, he said he had no plans on leaving his wife and that he didn't want any more children (he has a 12 yr old daughter). He has been married to her for 7 yrs and she's his 3rd wife. He's 52, she's 27. They have no children together. After he fell in love with me, he said I turned his world upside down and he considered divorcing his wife for me, but he wanted to date me for a few years to make sure things would work out between us. He also said he wanted 2-3 more children now with me. I was surprised his views changed so quickly over a period of 3 months. (I am not willing to date him for 2 yrs while he's still married to her so I ended the relationship). Has this happened to anyone else? You think he was just blowing smoke up my but* so I'd continue dating him?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 You think he was just blowing smoke up my but* so I'd continue dating him? Yes! think about it the man is lieing to the women he took a vow to love honor and so on what makes you any different? No offence but to me once lieing is established as a normal part of life its all fair game telling lies only becomes easer as you go along after all.
Mombot Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I'm beginning to think seeing a MM/MW will have your but* on fire all the time from all the smoke.
tami-chan Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 You think he was just blowing smoke up my but* so I'd continue dating him? Well, it seems like he has a history of changing wives...so, he might have been truthful about it. Although, he might have just thrown in the "3 kids" just to make it more "believable".
Hazyhead Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Yep. I think you'll find many in this forum for whom that is the case. However, very few for whom it is/was not just words.
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 He has been married to her for 7 yrs and she's his 3rd wife. He's 52, she's 27. They have no children together. In a case like this, I see it as more likely he would leave - unless she plans to crucify him financially in court, which in that case would add to the alimony and child support from the first two marriages. It might be cheaper to stay. On the other hand, if money isn't an issue, he may be lining you up for W#4. Just be aware that with a man like this, marrying/OW keeping seems to be a pattern behavior for him and it isn't likely to change when the W does, unless he just gets to the point where he feels he is too old to have affairs, and then he will be monogamous by default. He has a few more 'productive' years in him yet, though it sounds like if he is still flipping wives for OW. If you want kids, and you want a husband and aren't particularly concerned about him straying then go for it. If you want a monogamous family man without the baggage of three past marriages and children (and possible OC - you never know), you may want to look elsewhere.
whichwayisup Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 (I am not willing to date him for 2 yrs while he's still married to her so I ended the relationship). So does this mean you've totally ended the affair? In NC mode now? I highly doubt this man is going to have more kids at his age. Sounds like he was sweetening the pot for you but really has no intention of following through on that.
bittersweet memories Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 When I first met the MM, he said he had no plans on leaving his wife and that he didn't want any more children (he has a 12 yr old daughter). He has been married to her for 7 yrs and she's his 3rd wife. He's 52, she's 27. They have no children together. After he fell in love with me, he said I turned his world upside down and he considered divorcing his wife for me, but he wanted to date me for a few years to make sure things would work out between us. He also said he wanted 2-3 more children now with me. I was surprised his views changed so quickly over a period of 3 months. (I am not willing to date him for 2 yrs while he's still married to her so I ended the relationship). Has this happened to anyone else? You think he was just blowing smoke up my but* so I'd continue dating him? Wow..he married his wife when she was just 20 years old. Sounds more like a trophy wife. He's 52 I doube very much he would want to have more kids. Not at the age. So definetly yes hes was blowing smoke. Especially if you have no children.
2sure Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 He has already been married three times . His third wife is 25 years younger than him. Why on earth would he not do it again? Clearly, this is what he does. If you wait long enough, sure , he will leave his wife. You can be # 4 while you wait around for #5 to show up.
norajane Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 but he wanted to date me for a few years to make sure things would work out between us. Dating? Is that what he calls cheating on his wife for a few years? Even if he were dead serious about leaving his wife and suddenly wanting more kids, think about what you'd have ended up with if you'd stayed with him: a guy who does not consider marriage as getting in the way of his dating other women.
Daniel89 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 He's just bored of his life and wants something new, and everything thats new to him is definitely temporary.
jj33 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 (edited) After he fell in love with me, he said I turned his world upside down and he considered divorcing his wife for me, but he wanted to date me for a few years to make sure things would work out between us. He also said he wanted 2-3 more children now with me. Did I read this right? He wants you to have children with him NOW while he is marrried, while he dates you for awhile to see if it works out, WHILE he is married to his wife? If I were you I would be insulted that he has no problems divorcing and is allegedly in love with you and wont divorce number 3 to be with you. Hows that for a novel idea. Divorce her NOW and then date and see if it works out. As for having children with him now, before he is divorced, while you are auditioning for the role of wife number 4, well all I can say is if that floats your boat go for it. Didnt you write a thread some time ago about having a sugar daddy? Apologies if that was not you. If it was and hes going to pay you for this arrangment (or "keep you" is i suspect the more pc term) and that is interesting for you then go for it. As a love proposition its clearly all wrong and hes not just blowing smoke hes turned on very large incinerators Edited to add: I would be VERY careful of entering into ANYTHING with someone like this. He sounds controlling, and like someone who would eventually eat away at your self esteem unless you are very very clear on why you are there and like Lizzie and certain others have a clear map of what is going on and dont love him. Fond would be ok love would not. And since he trades in wives like some people trade up for new cars, if you do go for the baby thing, get an enforcable agreement up front regarding maintenance and child support (as if his W would go for that...so I would say $ in escrow up front..) Basically its totally unworkable. Are you sure he wasnt just drunk or does he think you are a few cards short of a full deck? Edited July 8, 2010 by jj33
torranceshipman Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Lol...put it this way. George Bush tells you he never was interested in the oil, and simply had developed a love of eastern culture. Would you believe him? Just have common sense and look at the facts in front of you. An old married guy with a history of cheating professes his undying love for you after 3 months of knowing you (exhibit A), but that he won't leave his partner for you (exhibit B), and comes up with the frankly bizarre 'we must date a few years before I definitely make up my mind about you' (exhibit C) and that in those intervening years you need to pop out a few of his kids, but only as his A partner (exhibit D). LOL! My question is...how much crap can this man actually fit into one sentence? He is ridiculous! The guy lies without conscience, period. Good on you for walking away...but go even further and cut this guy out of your life because his capacity for BS is probably unrivalled.
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 So does this mean you've totally ended the affair? In NC mode now? I highly doubt this man is going to have more kids at his age. Sounds like he was sweetening the pot for you but really has no intention of following through on that. Yes. Ended it, again. NC.
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 He has already been married three times . His third wife is 25 years younger than him. Why on earth would he not do it again? Clearly, this is what he does. If you wait long enough, sure , he will leave his wife. You can be # 4 while you wait around for #5 to show up. Thank you. This is why I love this board. Makes me see clearly when love fogs my mind.
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 Yeah, he is a Global Sales VP..so he is professional BSer. Him wanting to 'test drive' our relationship for 2 yrs before deciding to divorce his wife was very bizarre to me. He does upgrade his wives every 7 yrs, so that is weird. It's drama I don't want. Thanks everyone, except the mean poster who said I was looking for an SD. No, I wasnt, and NO he's not an SD.
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