messymichelle Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 i have tried to maintain nc, but he just wont stick to it, he will text me bout wanting to see the kids, which i dont mind im glad that he is spenging time with them, then after i pick them up (always smiling even though my heart is breaking) he will text again to see if they are ok then follows up with "r u ok?" today was pretty hard, when i went to pick the kids up he looked like he was about to cry but i forced myself to walk on. i am feeling pretty bad about that at the minute but on the other hand if i had of comforted him i would end up being more hurt when i had to leave. i love him, and im trying so very hard not to feel sorry for him because he is the one that walked outon me and the kids for a girl of 20(hes 33) since he left he lost his business, got into serious trouble which will probably see him sent down for 3-4 years, basically has been left with no money and no source of income, he is scrounging fags ect off his family, which i know he hates doing, he drops hints to me bout having no money ect, and so far i havent relented, i havent given him anything. also he is questioning our kids when he has them about whether i was out at the weekend. its all so confusing, although he is suposed to be staying at his mums i know that he spends 3-4 nights at the girls house. i dont want to come outright and ask him because i dont want to undo the bit of healing that ive done so far, and what if i have it wrong that maybe hes just being nosey and feeling sorry for himself or does it sound like that maybe the grass isnt greener, but he recently told someone close to me that he has fallen for this girl and she has been telling mutual friends that she id sooo happy. we were together 10 years and have been broken up 8 weeks, any thoughts anyone? what should i do?
skydiveaddict Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 stick to your guns and maintain NC. Sounds like you're doing pretty well considering all that you've been through
Author messymichelle Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 thanks i do feel better than i did 2 weeks ago, i guess im still holding the torch, even though i feel like he is never coming back dont get me wrong im far from over it, but i feel like their relationship is being rubbed in my face and its stirring up emotions like jealousy, anger and wanting to stay in nc. im trying so hard to let go, i mean he was far from perfect but i love him anyway, but why is he doing all this? texting about the kids when he knows they are ok, questioning them about me? would he just be feeling sorry for himself??
skydiveaddict Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 who knows what's going on in his mind or why he's doing those things. Just concentrate on healing yourself.
This Hurts Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 First off, you sound very strong, and I wish I had the willpower you do. And from what you have told us, it just sounds to me like he doesn't know what he wants. If I were you I'd stick to NC and wait to see what's going on for a while, and definitely keep posting here. I learned in a psychology class I took in high school that some men go through a period around age 30 where they question the decisions they've made and the life they're currently leading (kinda like a mid-life crisis type of thing), which could explain him leaving you and your family. Keep up the good work!
Recommended Posts