JohnnyDrama Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 well i went for lunch with the girl I had mentioned and she said "let's be real good friends." Of course she says the usual stuff friends can do etc.. I was pretty speechless. She goes on to say I was the guy who treated her best etc.. but she didn't feel that spark. I am curious as to what I was doing for the past month. Thinking of packing it in for good with girls now. Where do I go now?
Feelin Frisky Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Don't write 'em all off. It's an unfair life but luckily we're all one of a kind.
Cracker Jack Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Too early to be packing it in, man. She just wasn't feeling you. It's not your fault. There are other women out there that you can pursue. Never give up.
Woggle Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Just be a player for a while. It will give you a confidence and a spine that will serve you well even if you do meet a woman worth more than just a fling.
Crazy Magnet Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 It sucks that she let it go on for a month. Sort of makes her a big B word. It doesn't take that long to figure out of there is some kind of spark. Don't lose hope! That one particular girl sucked, but not all of us do!
Author JohnnyDrama Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 I know CM not all girls are like that. I guess I just don't know what to do. I mean it's nice she told me before she went away but on the other hand I will be left her to think about what happened while she's vacationing. Overall the reason I say I don't know where to go is she said I treated her great and this is what I get. I see no reason to put your best foot forward if you're going to get it stepped on.
silverfish Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I know CM not all girls are like that. I guess I just don't know what to do. I mean it's nice she told me before she went away but on the other hand I will be left her to think about what happened while she's vacationing. Overall the reason I say I don't know where to go is she said I treated her great and this is what I get. I see no reason to put your best foot forward if you're going to get it stepped on. She didn't step on your foot, she was honest with you about her feelings and that hurts. It doesn't mean that you should stop putting your best foot forward, it's just you weren't right for eachother. I'm sure you've been out with girls that you didn't connect with, and maybe they felt differently towards you. It's going to carry on happening until you find the right person...I know - been on both sides, and it's not easy
Author JohnnyDrama Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 She didn't step on your foot, she was honest with you about her feelings and that hurts. It doesn't mean that you should stop putting your best foot forward, it's just you weren't right for eachother. I'm sure you've been out with girls that you didn't connect with, and maybe they felt differently towards you. It's going to carry on happening until you find the right person...I know - been on both sides, and it's not easy No doubt but I also have never said to a girl on a date "I feel a real connection with you." Then less than a week later tell the girl "can we just be friends." So yeah she might have been honest with me today but for the other time probably not.
Mimolicious Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Unless you are into "LadyBoys" like someone else I know... Don't let your experience with 1 girl spoil it for the rest. There is someone out there for you. Trust me.
reservoirdog1 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 During that month, had you guys kissed? Had sex? If not, then you probably should've broken it off sooner, because the lack of those things most likely meant there was clearly no spark. If yes, then it's not the end of the world -- you had some fun, got some tail, and can move on. No harm, no foul. I don't believe there has to be sex within the first few dates or anything. However, I do believe that there needs to be a proper kiss by the end of the second date, as an indicator of physical chemistry. And it's important for you both to be wanting to tear each other's clothes off fairly shortly after that, regardless of whether or not you actually do so and how quickly. Those are just my personal rules, and they've generally not steered me wrong.
silverfish Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 No doubt but I also have never said to a girl on a date "I feel a real connection with you." Then less than a week later tell the girl "can we just be friends." So yeah she might have been honest with me today but for the other time probably not. Hard as it is, I ask what the problem is, and I would tell the person if they ask me. For instance, my ex BF,..I told him my reasons. It wasn't a list of his failings, or mine, more areas that we weren't compatible. I did feel a connection with him at one point, but as I got to know him better, there was less and less of a connection. When we talked about it, he realised that there was a lot of reasons on both sides why it wouldn't work out. I guess as I get older I don't think there's anything to lose by being honest about these things.
fishtaco Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Because treating her the best has nothing to do with sparks. And sparks is what gets romantic relationships going. Being nice = friends. Now I'm not saying don't be nice. Be nice or not nice, it's a matter of personal preference. But know that either way you choose, it has nothing to do with building romantic interest. So many guys think all they have to do is be nice to a girl and she will be interested. Nope. Unless the spark is also there, it'll just make them want to be your friend. Sorry bro but you put the wrong foot forward. A month is a lot of effort. Next time manage it better. Spread out your effort amongst several women. Your goal is NEVER to "win them over", because you shouldn't have to. Your goal is to put in just enough effort to figure out which ones have the spark with you. That should be priority #1 - determine if she's a dead end, if so, drop her. Then the next step is to determine if she's for real. A lot of the times they'll be dangling the carrot because they have other motives. You have to learn to throw tests at them to find their true motive. When you do find one with the spark, you'll be amazed how cooperative she will be. When women are interested in you, they will show it, often by throwing opportunities your way, and a lot of it. The classic men chase, women say no until finally relenting makes a good fictional story, but is a high effort, low success, and annoying way to approach this.
Author JohnnyDrama Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 During that month, had you guys kissed? Had sex? If not, then you probably should've broken it off sooner, because the lack of those things most likely meant there was clearly no spark. If yes, then it's not the end of the world -- you had some fun, got some tail, and can move on. No harm, no foul. I don't believe there has to be sex within the first few dates or anything. However, I do believe that there needs to be a proper kiss by the end of the second date, as an indicator of physical chemistry. And it's important for you both to be wanting to tear each other's clothes off fairly shortly after that, regardless of whether or not you actually do so and how quickly. Those are just my personal rules, and they've generally not steered me wrong. Kissed yes, she had bad bronchitis for 2 of weeks. No sex she's not that way at all.
vestigalvirgin Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 well i went for lunch with the girl I had mentioned and she said "let's be real good friends." Of course she says the usual stuff friends can do etc.. I was pretty speechless. She goes on to say I was the guy who treated her best etc.. but she didn't feel that spark. I am curious as to what I was doing for the past month. Thinking of packing it in for good with girls now. Where do I go now? Boys? .............................
Viking Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Thinking of packing it in for good with girls now. Where do I go now? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI But seriously, it is not worth getting all twisted up about a girl who pulls the "Let's just be friends" line. It is bull**** for "I didn't find you attractive/dangerous/rich/*******ish enough to try to date and figure out what is wrong with you. The let's just be friends is my cue to ditch them. No need to waste more money and effort on someone who is not into you the same way you are into them.
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