smk Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 so guess what I did yesterday evening???? Yup you guessed it - I broke NC (after approx 48 hrs). However on a technicality she broke NC. for those of you that dont know my story see below: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t236937/ anyways she phoned me up to tell me that she had given my business partner some money for me at the office (she works for a company I part own - however I am not based at that office). The funny thing is I had paid off her dad's (the same man who does not approve of me because of my race) credit card bill a few months earlier and it was a small amount so i didnt think it was important and hence never asked for the money. Anyways the previous day my BP had phoned me up to let me know that she had left the money for me and so naturally I was aware, however as soon as she phoned my heart skipped a beat and I answered and proceeded to having a 20 minute chat with her. We didnt talk about the relationship at all and I was very non objective to anything that was said, however she did mention that he has been going a little over the top with everything in her life at the moment. Cut a long story short - this has put me back in whole turmoil of even more emotions than I already had. I pretty much started crying on a packed train this morning on my way to work at rush hour. I had to hide my face behind a newspaper so no one could see me. I have then proceeded to spending most of my day wanting to call her, going through the roller coaster again, replaying what if scenarios in my head and it sucks... Just thought I would rant for a little bit and so here I am....
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