cdt76 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 My friend told me about this girl him met at a jewelry store. He was in buying something for his wife and got to talking to this girl. He then came to me and told me about her, thought she would be perfect for me and that I should go introduce myself to her. It's not something I normally do, being that forward but I thought what the he[[. I needed a watch anyway so I went up there. I had my two kids and she helped me find a watch. We made small talk and she was really nice, just like my friend said. And very attractive. Toward the end of the transaction I told her why I was really there. That my friend was in and she helped him and he thought I should come introduce myself because she was really nice. She smiled and seemed very receptive and asked me for a card with my number on it. I didn't offer it, she asked. So, I gave it to her. I haven't hear from her. I was wondering if women of LS think she felt obligated to ask for my number? I mean I thought she was interested. Just wondering. I also did not come across as creepy or weird, so that had nothing to do with it I don't think. Anyway, just looking for some insight, becuase I really thought she was great.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) She was probably just being nice to your friend for the same reason she was being nice to you. She wanted you to buy jewelry from her and didn't want to risk losing the sale if she turned you down. If she was really interested, she would have given you her number. She asked for yours so that she'd be in a position of control and therefore wouldn't have to actually contact you. Never hit on a woman in a service position, whether it's a server at a restaurant, or a commission-based sales associate at a jewelry store. They're not necessarily being friendly because they like you, they're being friendly because it's part of their job description. Edit: it also seems a little distasteful, IMO, to ask out women while your kids are with you. She could have picked up on that as well. Edited July 7, 2010 by kiss_andmakeup
Jersey Shortie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 You should have asked her for her number and then YOU call her. If she says "no", nothing lost. At least you tried.
Author cdt76 Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Thanks. I'll probably never do something like that again.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Thanks. I'll probably never do something like that again. Don't stop approaching women! Just don't approach women who are selling you something, whether it's a watch or your lunch.
Serenitynow Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 There will ALWAYS be gullible guys that think " wow she likes me" when dealing with women in service positions. I laugh at my friends and tell them they are idiots whenever they tell me stories about how some waitress/stripper/sales girl flirted with them. Most guys are truly just do dumb and self absorbed to realize the truth. .
sally4sara Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 You went there with the main intent as to make contact with this woman and, as a side note, get a watch and you took your kids? Awkward. While I realize there are lots of people who are single while parenting, something about a guy with kids in tow just screams "married" to me.
Author cdt76 Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Well, I have my kids all the time and the possibilities of getting a sitter in the middle of the day is impossible unless I send them to daycare. I didn't think it would be that awkward and to be honest, it didn't feel awkward. But if a girl doesn't like me because I have kids, then I have no need for her.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 There will ALWAYS be gullible guys that think " wow she likes me" when dealing with women in service positions. I laugh at my friends and tell them they are idiots whenever they tell me stories about how some waitress/stripper/sales girl flirted with them. Most guys are truly just do dumb and self absorbed to realize the truth. I was taking a shower with my ex one day, and he offered to exfoliate my back with this scrub. He told me the story of how the saleswoman approached him and talked him into spending $20 on this little container of wonderscrub. Now, this is a guy with nothing but a bar of soap and a 99 cent bottle of shampoo in his shower. I was like, "She must have been pretty good-looking to get you to spend 20 bucks on sugar and oil." That shut him right up.
Shakz Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I was like, "She must have been pretty good-looking to get you to spend 20 bucks on sugar and oil." That shut him right up. Aint it the truth? I once had a sales girl talk me into buying about $100 worth of scented candles and such. She had beautiful eyes.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Aint it the truth? I once had a sales girl talk me into buying about $100 worth of scented candles and such. She had beautiful eyes. I love when I am walking around downtown and those sexy young salesmen approach, trying to sell me salon packages and whatever. They always use flirtatious lines, like: "I'm sure an attractive woman like you would love a day at the spa...", blah blah. These tricks are older than dirt.
Gero Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 The whole thing has never worked on me. I feel weird whenever someone tries to be nice to me because they want money or something and I just ignore them.
Butterflying Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 If a person ask for my number and they don't contact me, I take that as a sign they aren't really interested. Sounds like this girl was just asking to be courteous. Perhaps she didn't find you attractive (while you may certainly be attractive) you just weren't what she wants. I suppose if she was interested, she would have given you her number instead. Also, why didn't you ask for her number?
Author cdt76 Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 If a person ask for my number and they don't contact me, I take that as a sign they aren't really interested. Sounds like this girl was just asking to be courteous. Perhaps she didn't find you attractive (while you may certainly be attractive) you just weren't what she wants. I suppose if she was interested, she would have given you her number instead. Also, why didn't you ask for her number? I actually just left it open with a statement "so I just came up to introduce myself". I didn't offer my number nor ask for hers. I didn't know what her situations was and I was not going to presume that she liked me by asking for her number. She asked for it as I was getting ready to head out the store. But it's really irrelevant, she didn't call but I got a nice watch now. She didn't "con" me into buying anything. I wanted to buy a watch. Oh well, I guess it was worth a shot at meeting a new girl. Thanks for all your input.
Author cdt76 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 So I've read on another thread that if a guy gives his number to a girl, she won't contact him due to various reasons. So at this point, should I attempt to make a date by contacting her? Or did I wait too long or ruin it by giving her my number? Or should I just let it pass.
txsilkysmoothe Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 (edited) I'm wondering, after all your effort, why you didn't just ask her out while you were there? What's the point of going there specifically to check her out, telling her that's why you're there, and NOT asking her out? Perhaps, she began thinking the same thing. I've never felt obligated to ask for a guy's number. I also seldom call men. Edited July 9, 2010 by txsilkysmoothe
Author cdt76 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 well, I had never met her before, it was out of the blue, i didn't want her to feel like i was some kind of stalker or anything. So, I tried to keep it as low key as possible.
Kamille Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I actually just left it open with a statement "so I just came up to introduce myself". I didn't offer my number nor ask for hers. I didn't know what her situations was and I was not going to presume that she liked me by asking for her number. She asked for it as I was getting ready to head out the store. But it's really irrelevant, she didn't call but I got a nice watch now. She didn't "con" me into buying anything. I wanted to buy a watch. Oh well, I guess it was worth a shot at meeting a new girl. Thanks for all your input. I have never once tried to contact a guy who gave me his number. And usually I'm pretty honest: if I accept the number, it's because I think the guy is cute. Back when I was single, I would refuse to take a guy's number if I wasn't interested or would take it - when they insisted - but then pretend I had a bf. sidenote: I know some people on here have strong views about this, but I felt it was a way to let the guy down easy. Just cause I'm not interested in a guy doesn't mean he's not interesting to someone else. Anyway, my point is, I certainly wouldn't have asked for the number, especially if the guy was heading out of the store unless i was minimally interested. In your shoes, I would advise you go back to the store and be a bit more forward. If you can, just ask her out then and there. Forget about the fact she didn't call and tell her you thought about her this week and was wondering if she would like to have coffee with you at some point. She will answer with yes or no and then you will know for sure. Ps: I am totally aware that there's a double-standard in what I just wrote.
Author cdt76 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 I have never once tried to contact a guy who gave me his number. And usually I'm pretty honest: if I accept the number, it's because I think the guy is cute. Back when I was single, I would refuse to take a guy's number if I wasn't interested or would take it - when they insisted - but then pretend I had a bf. sidenote: I know some people on here have strong views about this, but I felt it was a way to let the guy down easy. Just cause I'm not interested in a guy doesn't mean he's not interesting to someone else. Anyway, my point is, I certainly wouldn't have asked for the number, especially if the guy was heading out of the store unless i was minimally interested. In your shoes, I would advise you go back to the store and be a bit more forward. If you can, just ask her out then and there. Forget about the fact she didn't call and tell her you thought about her this week and was wondering if she would like to have coffee with you at some point. She will answer with yes or no and then you will know for sure. Ps: I am totally aware that there's a double-standard in what I just wrote. Man, I appreciate your incite. See, this is why guys are clueless about women! I'll do it and see what happens. Thank you. Now I'm nervous again!
gamma1 Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 I don't get why women will not call, yet it is extremely hard to get their number. This dating game is so ridiculous.
Author cdt76 Posted July 9, 2010 Author Posted July 9, 2010 Ok, so I called up there and spoke with her....I'm a nervous freaky wreck! But we set a date to meet for lunch next week on Tuesday and she gave me her number.....did I mention I'm a nervous WRECK!
dispatch3d Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Well, I have my kids all the time and the possibilities of getting a sitter in the middle of the day is impossible unless I send them to daycare. I didn't think it would be that awkward and to be honest, it didn't feel awkward. But if a girl doesn't like me because I have kids, then I have no need for her. It is awkward. The last sentence, she doesn't like you because you have kids, has nothing to do with anything. It's awkward because there's a crowd and social pressure on her to say yes so that you don't get shot down in front of a bunch of people. Furthermore, your kids respect you and if you constantly get shot down in front of them asking women their numbers they would lose some respect for you. These two things combined is what makes it socially awkward. Just find a way to get your kids to go look at something/go ahead and you'll catch up/whatever they are kids and aren't hard to trick then ask for the number. She may have had every intention of calling you at the time she was feeling positive feelings about you. But one day+ later she may not have been feeling those same positive good feelings. Instead she may be nervous about calling you, not sure if you'll like her, etc. So instead of having to deal with the negative feelings they just don't bother calling. To be fair there's been at least one girl I really liked that I just didn't get her number because I didn't want to have to go through asking her out, she flakes, ask her out again, maybe she goes out, talk to her on thevphone a bit, yadayada. If I liked the girl less I probably would have gotten her number because I really don't care how it ends up.
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