Got a second chance, and she broke up with me again :( :(

[spyyder]

I posted a month ago (in second chances) about getting a 2nd chance from my gf but still not being happy because things weren't the way they were. Things then started to pick up and I was so happy. I realized ALL my mistakes and became the perfect bf when she gave me the second chance. I was really good and I was what she wished I was, and I thought we were becoming happy. She broke up with me again yesterday.

 

Yesterday night I went to see her as a surprise. When I came she wasn't home and I found out she was at a friend's (real slut!) house which I really didn't like because I didn't want her influencing my girl, and she knows this - would you want your partner hanging out with a slut?

 

I called her and she was walking back home and I just asked her why did she go (in a nice casual way) as she knows I hate that friend. She then told me to **** off, that I shouldn't care what she does, she wants to do whatever she wants and she wants to break up for good. Yep I missed a few heart beats at that point, especially when I was being such a loving bf.

 

She did get home were I was waiting. We talked, I cried. She said that what she gave wasn't really a second chance and that she was just letting me call her my girlfriend, thats it, and only because she hated seeing me cry. She said she doesn't love me at all anymore, or even like me and has no more feelings for me anymore.

 

I was so so so upset. I couldn't believe it. She let me sleep over (no sex, just let me hold her) and I left in the morning while she was having a shower. I left a note saying that it was too painful to say bye and I wished her the best.

 

I went straight to work. I just sat on a stool looking at the floor for literally 2 hours as if I was waiting for her to come back. I miss her so so much, I cried so much that I found it hard to breathe and I just talked to myself saying how I messed up the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

I then took a nap on the couch and woke up, and I do actually feel better ! I started to feel like I DID have the best girl in the world, and I'll never get a girl as cute & lovely as her BUT it just wasn't meant to be. So i guess I am getting over her.

 

Problem: I don't want to . I know it sounds stupid but I'm now forcing myself to still miss her by remembering all the memories, etc because I think that if I get over her I'll never get her back and I really want her back. She had qualities that very few other girls had, so thats one reason.

 

My girl was so so so adorable, cute, said the most lovely things, was so innocent (like an angel), had a face that was slightly babyish but also very pretty (my type!!!!) and etc....these are things that I think no other girl has. Can any of you guys tell me I'm wrong? Can anyone confirm that there are other girls like this? What should I do now?

[graywolf]

Yes, I will happily do you that favor and tell you that you are wrong. You're so locked in love that you have fallen blind to see that this girl you speak of is no angel. She wouldn't say those things to you if she were. And she wouldn't treat you like this. There are way better girls out there that are deserving of your love. I can see that you're a pretty decent guy, I do wish the best for you. Please, get over this person, because she's not coming back. She's not worth your love. And angels don't hang out with sluts, unless they are doing some miracle work to heal them of their sluttiness. Please, move forward, do not contact her ever again. I promise you you'll find someone better than her, who will appreciate your love.

 

I'm telling you, you don't realize there are so many other girls of that type but better in the world, you just didn't notice because you were in love. It's time to move forward and fall in love with someone who is right for you. Best of luck. I really do wish you the best.

[whatadeer26]

Spyyder, I really feel for you. Did you want to be in a relationship that you needed to watch where you stepped for fear you might make her mad. Don't sacrifice who you are. She sounds like a B*tch and a coward. I hate how immature so women are as they think they are sparing your feeling by stringing you on.

 

My Ex asked for time and has been to cowardly to just break up with me. F her. I am begining to realize I didn't truly love her. She was selfish, but I liked that. She will grow up soon enough and realize the mistake she made. I am young, tall, dark and handsome. I have a great job with a lot of up.

 

Treat yourself to something nice. I decided last a few days ago I am going on Vacation with my friends in 2 weeks to Cabo.

 

Remember it is her loss. Work on making yourself better and more attractive (you'll find an even better baby face). I have set a goal that I want a six pack for next summer.

 

You should pick something and give it your best to get it. Concentrate on you now. You are not alone. Go NC and just do you.

[chooch]

Spyyder mate i'm gutted for you. You've been there for me offering some great advice over the last few days so I'm here if you need.

 

You said it yourself that if she was immature again then you wouldn't look back. I know it'll still be hard but remember that fact. You were right (which will make you feel worse) but she woulda hurt you in the long run...

 

Yes she was amazing but she was too young to appreciate you. Especially if you were treating her right this time. It's her loss not yours. Yes it hurts you more but you deserve better than that.

[spyyder]

I think what I wrote made it sound like she's a real bitch and everything. Before she was excellent, perfect, so perfect. It's just now she's a bitch, since we 1st broke up at least. I'm STILL having trouble believing what she has become. She was an angel but when we broke up she turned sour.

 

I was really bad to her the first time round...because of my behaviour she said stuff like "I don't care how much you shout at me and make my cry, I will always love you and be with you"....obviously only a great gf would say something like that. I was really horrible to her, but like I said she put up with it because she loved me so much. I just wish she gave me a real chance, and not just a fake 2nd chance, to show how much I realize what I did, how sorry I am (I'm sososo sorry !!!!!! ) and that I really want to make it up to her. Man I wish so much I could make it up to her by making her happy for the rest of her life.

 

I'm still so crazy over her. I still cry so hard that I don't make any noise due to lack of breath. I am aware that one day SHE WILL regret breaking up with me, but by that time it'll be too late. I know women only regret stuff like this after a very long time. I'm not angry at her at all, I'm actually angry at myself as there were SO MANY things I could have done differently that would have prevented the 1st break up.....when I mentioned one of the things to her she admitted that I was right.

 

Her living situation isn't great, and she doesn't have very good future prospects. My living situation & prospects are contrasting to hers. We made so many plans on how we would be happy together...we even talked about stuff like the style of house we'd get, kitchen colors, hardwood flooring throughout, etc.... She doesn't realize what she's loosing and she thinks that she'll always be okay without me. She thinks that there are many great guys out there and she can just get one when she's ready at 25 or something....this comes from a girl who's had nothing but horrible bfs before me (the type that cheat, etc). However before our breakup she was 100% convinced I was the one, and I remember she thanked me for being so perfect for her...and she then got upset that I wasn't with her before (so she didn't have to go through the tough times with her exs). I can't believe that she has changed so much in such a short period of time! Its so sad that not long ago we were dreaming about getting married and she was asking me when I would ask her to marry me because she didn't want to wait too long.

 

Her parents got divorced when she was 9 I think (old enough to understand what was happening) and she still remembers the experience crystal clear. She is living with her mom who is still single but sleeps with really close friends, so I'm thinking that this has caused her to have long term commitment issues. I told her this and she said that I'm wrong. What do you guys think? Could the problem be because of this and not me?

Edited July 7, 2010 by spyyder

[ahashakeheartbreak]

HAHAHA. Spyder I am not laughing at you, it's just funny because I went through THE SAME EXACT THING. I have a thread a bit down from this one about it...my ex broke up with me first time because he "couldn't give me what I need."..week later, we get back together, week AFTER that, he texts me to break up with me again, saying that he didn't like me or love me at all anymore.

 

No lie. (: I know it's hard...dude, it's the worst. Only NC and time help...if you need someone to talk to, I don't mind! Our situations are so similar...weird. :/.

 

She's just confused about herself...what she wants...she's immature. Not much more to say. I know depsite this you want her back, but...gotta let her go. And, by the way, it doesn't matter what's going on in her life. There are no excuses for treating someone you...well, "used" to like in this way. And at the very least, she should have enough respect for you to not treat you like this. Everyone's got problems, don't make excuses for your ex. Try not to think about her. It's possible, you just have to try.

Edited July 7, 2010 by ahashakeheartbreak

[GrayClouds]

Sorry but it is time to move on.

 

She has issues, we all do, but her's is quite pronounce. And it will be some time until she is ready to work on them, and their is nothing you are capable of doing to help her, no matter how caring, supporting, or giving you can be.

 

Like all of us, you have things you need to work on, this break-up is telling you so. You are a really nice guy, who tries very hard to do the right thing, and more then willing to sacrifice your needs for someone you care about. These are all wonderful traits, most of the time. Other times it is important not to lean on those traits and find other tools that are more productive. A hammer is a great tool, but using a hammer in every situation does not work.

 

This is one them. And instead of focusing on taking care of someone else, now it is time to focus that attention you taking care of you. Putting yourself first. Likely this is not something that come easy for you. Though now is the time to learn how, including the hard work of finding healthier understanding of love, putting yourself first in your life, and create a life you want for yourself.

 

IF your do that, great rewards await, much greater then this broken relationship could ever give you. Good luck, understand you deserve better.

Edited July 7, 2010 by GrayClouds

[almonds folks]

Dude what a terrible girl. Would an angel really do this bs to you? Would the TRUE love of your life put you through this? Of course not. Some people just think others are little toys with no feelings. You are one of the few good guys out there. All the rest of guys are dogs or jerks. Keep your head up. Somebody like yourself will attract somebody so much more better than your ex. Trust me

[D-Lish]

Yesterday night I went to see her as a surprise. When I came she wasn't home and I found out she was at a friend's (real slut!) house which I really didn't like because I didn't want her influencing my girl, and she knows this - would you want your partner hanging out with a slut?

 

I called her and she was walking back home and I just asked her why did she go (in a nice casual way) as she knows I hate that friend. She then told me to **** off

 

You've posted that she was a great girl, that you didn't treat very well the first time around, and because of that, she broke up with you.

 

You think you are being a perfect bf this time around by telling her who she is allowed to be friends with? That's controlling behaviour.

Who cares if you don't like this girl she went to see? You have no right to make that call.

 

I am not surprised she told you it was over again, you haven't changed one bit and she sees that. You demonstrated that by trying to have control over her seeing her friends.

[TouchedByViolet]

Like all of us, you have things you need to work on, this break-up is telling you so. You are a really nice guy, who tries very hard to do the right thing, and more then willing to sacrifice your needs for someone you care about. These are all wonderful traits, most of the time. Other times it is important not to lean on those traits and find other tools that are more productive. A hammer is a great tool, but using a hammer in every situation does not work.

 

This is some damn good advice. You should write a book.

[spyyder]

You think you are being a perfect bf this time around by telling her who she is allowed to be friends with? That's controlling behaviour.

Who cares if you don't like this girl she went to see? You have no right to make that call.

D-Lish what you said was pretty mean. Here is the extra facts:

She said in the afternoon that she had a late night shift, then said she's home and going to go to sleep soon (I came over because I wanted to do a surprise sleepover...something she use to love me do). So I asked why she went because it was clear that she lied to me. I also said that I've changed and if she would have just told me she was going to her friends house I would have said ok....I was upset that she thought she had to lie to me. ALSO not only is her friend a bad person, but she also lives in a really really rough part of town (the type of area you drive around to avoid rather than go through to get to work). I also asked because I was worried that she was walking to & from that part of town at midnight! Am I so bad for not wanting my gf hanging with a slut in a seriously rough part of town? BTW I didn't write the rough town part & the lying part because my post was already too long.

 

Anyway....I went to her place last night again I know all of you have said to move on but I couldn't. She wasn't home & her sister said that she should be coming home soon (I think her sister wants me to get her back) so I decided to just sit on a park bench thats across her house. She came and I asked her to sit beside me. I told her that I love her so so much, and I wish I could just switch off my love for her (because it's what she wants) but I can't.

 

She let me sleep over because she didn't want me to drive home at night because I was sleepy (she is aware of my sleepy driving history!). She then said that she met a guy and that just made me burst into tears.

 

I'm now at work, and after watching tons of breaking up/ getting back together videos I feel much better. Most of them say that you need to move on in order to get her back, and some say to make a deal with yourself that if you move on you can get her back in a year or so. I'm doing that.

 

It's tough because I don't have the type of friends I can talk to about stuff like this. All my friends are the alpha male city boy type and if I ever mentioned how I felt then they would definitely be put off, especially if I said how I've been begging for a second chance and cry all the time. I can't tell my parents how I feel because if I do they probably wouldn't take my next girlfriend seriously especially after how much I've integrated my ex with them. I told my parents last year that I'd marry her and she is the one, so I still haven't even figured out how I'll say that we broke up!

 

My day on paper has started off pretty lousy, but somehow I don't feel as crappy as I thought I would.

Edited July 8, 2010 by spyyder

[listen_to_me_please]

sorry to hear that dude.

i could of told you she was having sex with another guy by the way she was talking to you (like you don't mean anything at all) and she's talking to you like that because she thinks she found someone better.

 

sooner or later, she's going to regret it but its going to be a years.

the best thing you can do is disappear.

[spyyder]

I am aware that she will eventually regret it. She even said herself that she wished she met me a few years from now rather than before as I'm not what she wants now, but what she will want later.

 

I wrote & posted her a 2 page letter telling her how I understand everything, realize everything, my mistakes and how because of her I have learned alot and will make sure I don't make the next mistake with my next 'baby' as all I'll have to do is be the way I wish I was when I was with her. I said that I'm not expecting another chance nor do I want one (thats a lie) as well. I didn't say I love her, but said 'loved', and also mentioned getting a new gf 'baby' a lot...I tried to make it seem like I've moved on and she's just let go of someone who has turned into best thing she'll ever have.

 

At the end of the letter I said that I'd appreciate a text saying that she's read the letter (just so I know she actually read it through lol). She sent me that text right now so I called her and her voice sounded sad. She said she was tired, but I know her tired voice and that wasn't it, so I'm still hoping to get her back. I said sorry for the letter being 2 pages and she said that she considered it quite short (maybe because she wanted to read more????) I've decided to not see or call her at all, and if she ever calls I'll be playing hard to get so I don't become a doormat if we ever get back together.

 

I'm feeling better now. I am still going to try to get my ex back (with my brain now, not my heart) and if all fails I've already located a nearby private counselling service (holly **** $150/hr!)- I do need it as crying every night & day for a month is definitely a sign to seek professional help.

 

Do you guys think I'm thinking right?

Edited July 9, 2010 by spyyder

[GrayClouds]

.

 

Do you guys think I'm thinking right?

Sorry spyyder but your not but that is understandable it is all fresh and still hurts a great deal.

 

Read these two threads to help your thinking. Everything is your body will want to disagree with it, tell you your situation is different and your simple not strong enough but no of that is true:

 

The No Contact Guide

So you want a second chance?

 

It gets better, be kind to yourself.

[sloudrou]

This is just sad.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is why the no contact rule exists. Once you break up with an ex for ANY reason, that's it, no contact, time to move on. Don't text them, don't call them, don't email them, don't write to them, just let them go. In this case, the OP was just a place filler, a bench warmer keeping the seat warm for her next bf, and this has happened to so many people that it's just not worth the effort.

 

Yes, I know there are cases where people have made things work with their exes, just like there are cases of people falling off 10 storey buildings and surviving. Neither is a course of action I would advise, however.

[AlwaysConflicted]

This is horrible. I remember your story inspiring me over a month ago.

 

After weeks of reading stories and posting on loveshack, its clear to me that once a relationship breaks it's almost impossible to repair it.

 

Sorry for your loss.

[azmo]

Yes. Broken relationships are hard to repair, because there's already so much hurt feelings. It doesn't feel the same, and that may cause rebreak.

 

I'm sorry for you

[spyyder]

This is horrible. I remember your story inspiring me over a month ago.

 

After weeks of reading stories and posting on loveshack, its clear to me that once a relationship breaks it's almost impossible to repair it.

 

Sorry for your loss.

 

Yeah I'm sorry for the bad news. I was considering not posting about the breakup but I didn't want people inspired by a story that actually ended bad, and I still needed some advice.

 

Good news for me is I've got a date on friday, and another on saturday. However I somehow feel very bad & guilty with the idea of dating other women, but I know I need to move on.

[GrayClouds]

Yeah I'm sorry for the bad news. I was considering not posting about the breakup but I didn't want people inspired by a story that actually ended bad, and I still needed some advice.

 

Good news for me is I've got a date on friday, and another on saturday. However I somehow feel very bad & guilty with the idea of dating other women, but I know I need to move on.

spyyder did you read those links?

 

I know you want to move on but your kind of putting the cart the horse. You do not move on by finding someone new you move on by finding the better you. This means giving yourself time to heal, understanding mistake you made in your last realtionship, find way to keep from repeating those mistakes, and then creating a life where some is a compliment to it not the focus of it.

 

Beside it is unfair to date people when your not available, that is how people get hurt.

 

Here is good advice for you;

SIGNED!!!!!!!!

 

****ING A

 

listen there are so many cool ****ing girls out there.

 

but **** the cool girls. find your **** that you LOVE to do...find that energy that fufillment not in women.

 

i swear to god and then they will come. ive met and been with like 5-6 very special women since the reakup all are great but its ****ing unfufilling for me at least because im still nit loeading the life i dream of, but im getting there.

 

get there and then find the woman = paradise

Edited July 10, 2010 by GrayClouds

[Star Gazer]

I realized ALL my mistakes and became the perfect bf when she gave me the second chance. I was really good and I was what she wished I was, and I thought we were becoming happy.

 

This isn't really true though. I know you may not see it now, but real change doesn't happen that quickly, nor does it occur because the other person wants it to. You have to want to change/improve for yourself, not for someone else or in the hopes of getting back together. You have to work on yourself with the assumption that you'll never get back together, and that you're working on yourself for your own good, and no other reason.

[spyyder]

This isn't really true though. I know you may not see it now, but real change doesn't happen that quickly, nor does it occur because the other person wants it to. You have to want to change/improve for yourself, not for someone else or in the hopes of getting back together. You have to work on yourself with the assumption that you'll never get back together, and that you're working on yourself for your own good, and no other reason.

 

I'm not sure about that. Its been 1.5 months or so since we 1st broke up. I realized all the mistakes I did (I feel like such an idiot) and know how I should have been - not just for her but for myself. She was with me for so long, and loved me so much that she put up with all the horrible things I did and behaved with her so I never even realized the mistakes I was doing....I guess at that time I didn't even care if I was making mistakes because I thought that no matter what I did she would always be with me. Also I didn't realize what I had until she broke up with me. I wanted to change not just to get her back, but to also make up for how I was, and that I genuinely wanted to make her happy now.

 

We agreed yesterday that we'd return everything we gave each other. It was really heartbreaking for me but I couldn't stand looking at the gifts & paintings she did for me. When I got to her house today, her sister was there to let me in, and said that my ex is out. I immediately called my ex to ask where she is and I said that I thought she was going to help me move all the stuff (I actually just wanted to see her so so bad!!!). She said she didn't want to see me so she packed everything I gave her in bags & boxes so it would be easy for me to take. What I did was I took her stuff out of my car and put it in her room, and I left the things I gave her as I didn't want to remember the times I loved her so much.

 

When I called her I told her that I met someone new (I did), that I started going to the gym and that I didn't love her anymore, etc. It killed me to tell her that I didn't love her anymore because I still love her so so much, more than ever. I feel like I had a girl that I will consider 'the one that got away' for the rest of my life. I guess its because she was so cute, lovely, pretty and loved me so much that she would have done anything for me. I still would marry her anyday, even if she had no arms & legs I still would take her back and care for her forever.

 

I don't know what to do. Before I went to her house to return everything I planned a speech that I intended to slowly speakout while we were exchanging the things we gave each other. I then thought I could then get her back when I said that I'm doing great, that I'm over her, etc. She wasn't there so I couldn't, and telling her the stuff on the phone just wasn't the same.

 

I still love & adore her so much. I'm actually crying now realizing what I had and how I was so stupid to lose her. Everywhere I look, I get reminded of memories we had. Even when I stopped by a gas station on the way home, the croissants at the station reminded me of when we were lost in Paris on a really rainy day, we just were so happy to be lost in Paris as we left all our worries back home. I felt so good at that time, and so did she. She just doesn't remember those times anymore so I guess thats why it was so easy for her to move on. I remember our great times every single minute. Even when I smile I immediately think of her, and then I start crying.

 

I've actually started to wear my large aviator glasses everywhere I go, because something always reminds me of her & our times together and then I just burst out crying. The glasses hides my crying eyes but I do get attention when its nighttime and indoors.

 

I was really upset that she left home just so that she wouldn't have to see when when I came over to give back all her stuff. She says that she hates me and I deeply considered just jumping out of her bedroom window to end all the sadness that I have from losing her....but then I thought that if I did that then I'm definitely never going to get her back because I'll be dead and all.

 

I do have a date on friday. I feel so bad to go, as I feel that if I go then I'll never get my baby back. I don't know what to do....

Edited July 11, 2010 by spyyder

[AlwaysConflicted]

Hey Spyder,

 

I'm sorry that you have to go through the breakup twice. As if the 1st time wasn't hard enough...

 

It's incredibly sad, but she does remember all those happy memories in paris. They just don't mean as much to her right now as they do to you. Her feelings for you have changed and there's nothing you can do to change them back to the way they were.

 

It's frustrating that she wasn't at her apartment, but many women do that. It would have been way too awkward and sad if she watched you carry your stuff out. She probably still has feelings for you, just not the same ones. Plus she's human, so the scene of you hauling your personal possesions away would be sad. It's sad for me to think about and I'm a stranger.

 

I feel your sadness and time will slowly make things better. However, I think you're making a big mistake going on this date friday. You are no condition to date right now. The entire date you'll either be thinking of your ex, talking about your ex, comparing this new girl to your ex, or just overall sad. It's not fair to the girl. I'd call her up and just say "I've gotten out of a bad breakup and right now isn't the best time, sorry." Just my opinion...but you do what you want.

 

My breakup still makes me sick to my stomach when I think about all the details. I made a tremendous amount of mistakes, but I can't go back in time. You need to try to stop thinking of everything so much. As soon as a thought of her pops in your head try to distract yourself.

[GrayClouds]

spyyder you seem to ignore my question, twice now. Hopefully the third time the charm. Did you read those links?

 

I understand you are hurting, I understand you just want the pain to end, I understand you think the only way it will be if you got her back or replace her. But the things you are doing is only hurting you further.

 

Caller,her about finding someone new and teller her you do not love (you said you know all the mistakes you made I suspect playing games like this a trying to hurt her is one of them) dating someone new when your not ready ( was another mistake being selfish like this for it is when you date someone when you not ready).

 

It is time to help your to heal, stop hurting yourself and those around you.

Edited July 11, 2010 by GrayClouds

[Maverick1983]

Hi spydder,first of all I would like to say it saddens me to hear stories such as yours as I too am in a similiar scenario.First of all it is good that you have decided to see other people as this will both benefit you and your self esteem and also show your ex that you are not reliant on her.

 

The thing is women tend to react more when they feel as though someone has moved on and has accepted the break up.If she sees that you are moving on it will automatically trigger her jealousy.I know that people will tell you to move on and completely forget about her but eventhough you think she might have changed for the worse this is probably just her way of dealing with the pain of the break up and these might not be her true colours.The worst mistake you can make is to put pressure on her to take you back because eventhough you aren't desperate,a woman will see any form of begging or pleading for a second chance as desperation and remember you want to attract her by being confident and positive because that's probably what she's looking for.You seem like a good guy so don't sell yourself short and just give her time to think.If your not there for her she will miss you and she will be more inclined to think about taking you back.I know it's hard to not see her for awhile but she may just need reminding of what life is like without you.If she has another guy on the scene he is mostly likely there to fill the void you've left and he will soon be gone.Rebounds almost always happen it's natural and sometimes beneficial.

[spyyder]

When we were together we spent lots of time in my Jaguar (car I used before I got the Bimmer). We drove to many far places, talked for hours in it all the time, etc. It's an S-type so that car really had soul, and we use to always LOVE being in it - its definitely a romantic car. I can remember so many times when we sat in the back with the front seats moved forward and did so many things, even just talked, and this still happened when we were a year together. Even towards the end of the relationship we loved just cuddling in it as it was our 'special place'....I remember we talked for like 4 hours in it the first time we met and its also the first place we kissed. When we had problems, alot of the time I use to just take her in the car to talk things out and it worked. Every memory that we have (even going to the forest, going to Paris, etc) involved the car. That car definitely is FULL of memories of us together. I named the car 'Catelina' - we both called it that. Occasionally we use to say things like 'I don't think this will fit in Catelina's boot'. I was prepared to sell back my new BMW, and continuing driving the Jag (which is actually full of problems) if we got back together.

 

Today I told her that I'm selling it since I already have a new car. She then asked 'when? why?', and I just said that I wanted to forget the memories and that I didn't use it much anymore. Could this be a sign that she's wanting me back by asking why am I selling the car (as its full of our memories)?

 

GrayClouds, I read those two links before. I agree what it says but its just to painful to move on. I haven't been able to go NC before because it was just to painful to not hear her voice for too long, but today I have decided to go NC especially when I have nothing to tell her or talk about....I've said everything I wanted to. I'm glad that she at least let me say everything I wanted to say over the phone.

 

I know it sounds stupid but although I know we're over, I still keep thinking on the back of my mind that we'll get back together one day. That one day she'll call me and say that she realizes the mistake she made and everything. When we were together I did many bad things but OVERALL I was a good boyfriend. When we were together she said that I was the best boyfriend she had and I did so many things that her exs never did...I did many things that she wished her exs did. She also use to say that she wishes she met me long time ago but is thankful that she at least has me now.....I guess she doesn't feel like that now at all.

 

I think because I was a good bf overall, and she broke up with me because of the few horrible things I did/way I acted, that she'll forgive & forget those bad things and then remember the great bf that I was? She knows that I've learned all the mistakes I did and knows that if she gave me a chance I will be different....Its just that she doesn't want to give me a 2nd chance.

 

To you guys that have told me to NOT go on a date because I could hurt the girl...well...the way I see it, I've been so nice to the world and the world has just torn my heart apart, so it's about time I hurt the world too.

 

I know its bad but I'm going on the date because I just need to get romantic with another girl. My ex is casually dating another guy, and I'm sure that's helping her get over me, so I should do the same.

 

This heartbreak ****ing sucks. This is definitely worse than ALL the sadness & bad experiences I've had in my live COMBINED, and I've been though my close grandparents dying (both mom & dad side), relatives dying, stress of going to court, heartbreaks from my all exs (before my ex), etc.

Edited July 11, 2010 by spyyder