Bored with Life

July 7, 2010

I'm the type of person that has a number of interests but never stays interested in them for too long. For example, I can play video games for a few months and then get so bored by them that I just don't want to play them at all anymore. I do the same thing with shows or sports that I am into. I get really into something and then I get bored of it a few months later.

I have a lot of interests on my computer such as website design and programming and other stuff but after some time I just get bored of that stuff too and move onto something else.

Sometimes I will move back to something that I used to be bored with but it will take years sometimes for me to get interested in it again. There are even periods of time where I just sit around and do nothing because everything just gets boring to me.

Because of this, I can't go to school or college because I am worried about getting bored and quitting school or finishing, but being bored with whatever career I get into.

The only thing that I really think about and want is a relationship. Even though I spend months or years at a time without actively trying to meet new girls (usually due to being discouraged by constant rejection) I still think about it a lot and since I was in high school, all I really cared about was finding someone to be in a relationship with.

I haven't been in a relationship since I was 15 and that only lasted for 2 months. Whenever I go on a date or meet someone, I either instantly have no interest in them or am really interested in them. If I am really interested in them, then it's all that I think about. It's the only thing that I find exciting in life and everything else just becomes boring.

Usually things don't work out because I come on too strong too fast or try to hold back my feelings and play it cool which results in me not doing anything and not even trying to make a move on a girl.

I also guess that because of my tendency to be bored with everything, I come off as boring to girls and they don't end up liking me as much as I like them.

I can't just casually date someone either because it gets really boring for me. Everything that I do in my life is usually done at a really fast pace, so dating and taking things slow gets boring to me and I lose interest.

For example, I did terrible in high school the first few years because I was just bored with the pace of things. I hated sitting through a lecture that never got to the point and then having to do homework at home that I could have easily done in class. I was way behind in school until I did home school for the last year and was able to catch all of the way back up by doing 2x or more the work every week. I even finished a week early.

It's something that I have been struggling with for a long time. I can't pace myself. So how I am supposed to live my life?

Is there anyone else out there that has this weird type of personality?

PS: Sorry for the long post.

July 7, 2010

So basically, how do I get over my issues and become a person that women will actually want to be with? My problem is that all I care about is finding someone that I could build a relationship with. Then once I find that, I figure that I will be happy and confident enough to finally figure out what else I should do with my life. This is apparently the opposite of what everyone else thinks.

Anyway, I have no idea how I can just stop myself from worrying about being alone (as I have been for the past 11 years) and focus on other stuff such as job/career when there is nothing else that I really care about much.

Any help and advice would be appreciated.

July 7, 2010

So basically, how do I get over my issues and become a person that women will actually want to be with? My problem is that all I care about is finding someone that I could build a relationship with. Then once I find that, I figure that I will be happy and confident enough to finally figure out what else I should do with my life. This is apparently the opposite of what everyone else thinks.

This is the problem...you have it backwards...and until you make yourself happy and confident, you won't find a fulfilling relationship...and besides, why would any girl want to be your crutch in life...?

Anyway, I have no idea how I can just stop myself from worrying about being alone (as I have been for the past 11 years) and focus on other stuff such as job/career when there is nothing else that I really care about much.

Any help and advice would be appreciated.

Simple. Pull your head from out of your ass. It's something you have to make a conscientious decision to change. No one else can do it for you, and there's no shortcut to your goals until you decide to make that change.

July 7, 2010

You suffer from depression and you need to see a therapist.

July 7, 2010

This is the problem...you have it backwards...and until you make yourself happy and confident, you won't find a fulfilling relationship...and besides, why would any girl want to be your crutch in life...?

Although I don't intentionally try to put pressure on them and it's not what I want, it's most likely what I do most of the time without even thinking about it. You're right about that, but I don't know how to change that.

Simple. Pull your head from out of your ass. It's something you have to make a conscientious decision to change. No one else can do it for you, and there's no shortcut to your goals until you decide to make that change.

Yeah, it's tough. I don't really care about myself enough to put that much effort into improving myself. So I just search for someone that I can care about and maybe I get a little too clingy or whatever because I'm putting their needs and everything before whatever my own needs are.

The problem is that I really have no idea who I am and I have no idea how to become whatever it is I am supposed to be. It sucks.

July 7, 2010

You suffer from depression and you need to see a therapist.

I was on disability leave from my job 2 years ago because I was so stressed out that I couldn't stand being at work and dealing with all of the crap there. When I was off, I kept going to therapy, but they made me do a group which didn't do much for me. I couldn't even really relate to the people there.

I remember pretending to be using my cellphone while they all piled into the elevator so I didn't have to be in the elevator with them.

A few weeks later, I was fired from my job because I couldn't get a doctor's note to them in time. I lost my benefits and haven't been back to therapy since.

I asked my mom to try to get something so I could go back, but she hasn't done anything. It's hard for me to do a lot of stuff for myself because I have trouble going out alone a lot or talking on the phone to people I don't know due to my social anxiety.

July 7, 2010

I'm sorry. I wish I could help you. If you can't see a therapist then at least find someone to talk to. Even if it's your mom. You need to breathe out before you can breathe in, and I'm seeing someone holding their breath. Breathe out here. I will listen but I'm not qualified to help you.

July 8, 2010

I'm sorry. I wish I could help you. If you can't see a therapist then at least find someone to talk to. Even if it's your mom. You need to breathe out before you can breathe in, and I'm seeing someone holding their breath. Breathe out here. I will listen but I'm not qualified to help you.

Thanks. I have been talking to a few of my friends about stuff over the last 2 years, but it's hard because I always feel embarrassed or guilty like I am pushing my problems onto them. They help out with advice, but it honestly doesn't help until my head clears up and then I see that they were right. Obviously, no one is going to be able to help me get better. Hopefully things can get better if I get back into therapy, but who knows really?

I'm in a weird place now because I blew a chance with a great girl because I couldn't act normal. I tried to explain my behavior to her to think that she would understand, but she didn't want to deal with it or whatever. I don't blame her. She told me to call her when I am over my issues or whatever. She's really great and I do want her as a friend even if things can never work out romantically or whatever, but I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I made her feel so uncomfortable. It sucks.

July 8, 2010

I'm in a weird place now because I blew a chance with a great girl because I couldn't act normal. I tried to explain my behavior to her to think that she would understand, but she didn't want to deal with it or whatever. I don't blame her. She told me to call her when I am over my issues or whatever. She's really great and I do want her as a friend even if things can never work out romantically or whatever, but I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I made her feel so uncomfortable. It sucks.

How did you blow your chances?

Try to focus one one issue at a time and don't make so many umbrella statements that blame all of your troubles on personality. Focus on one thing at a time you want and go for it. Start with small things.

July 8, 2010

You know what really, really sucks? This:

I was on disability leave from my job 2 years ago because I was so stressed out that I couldn't stand being at work and dealing with all of the crap there.

I've lost all respect for you. You drain the rest of us. Don't you realize that the rest of us who are breaking our backs working have to support people like you? What is wrong with this picture. You're a young guy who can work but you're a drain on society and your kind is a drain on hard working people. Don't you feel guilty?

Stop playing the victim already! Shame on you! I already made suggestions to you. What's so wrong with taking on line classes if that's what you need to do to go at your own pace and avoid all the people who annoy you.

I better not post on here again because this just sickens me! How do you even get "disability" on our backs just because you're so "stressed out." Seriously, please explain that one to me.

And as I said, quit worrying about girls. You have bigger fish to fry.

by the way, just curious, are you into toy boats?

I'm sure that I can't come up with a satisfactory answer to you, but I will give you my reasons.

I hurt my back at work and I was seeing a chiropractor for a bit. I was still working and trying to get the chiropractor as much as I could, but my boss was being a bitch about it. There was a day where I had an appointment after work and she said that I had to work overtime otherwise I would get a point against me and I couldn't go to my appointment.

Where I worked, they always said that we had to work overtime and that we agreed to it when we joined up, but I never signed anything that said that.

Both the boss and my co-workers were absolute dicks about the whole thing and it was screwing with my head. I had to work extra hard because people wouldn't do their part. They would just stand around and talk while I would get the last load of the day and have to haul all of the chairs and such myself. I couldn't say anything to the boss because she hated me for bringing up all of the BS that we had to put up with in that warehouse. I stood up for everyone when all of the **** was going on, but they all were too afraid to stand up for themselves and help make things better back there.

I was on disability for like 2 months before I was let go. Hell, my former supervisor was on disability for stress for like a whole year. The place was a hell hole and I can't believe I worked there for as long as I did.

Trust me, I worked my ass off there and paid enough into disability and all of the other stuff. I was lifting 100+ pound chairs up over my head all day with no air conditioning or heating for 10 hours a day and 6 days a week during most weeks.

I wasn't proud of what happened. Why would I be, but I just felt like I was going insane and had to get away from it all.

Again, I am sorry if my answer does not satisfy you. I know I am playing the victim and I should just shut up and take it. Sorry.

July 8, 2010

You know what really, really sucks? This:

I was on disability leave from my job 2 years ago because I was so stressed out that I couldn't stand being at work and dealing with all of the crap there.

I've lost all respect for you. You drain the rest of us. Don't you realize that the rest of us who are breaking our backs working have to support people like you? What is wrong with this picture. You're a young guy who can work but you're a drain on society and your kind is a drain on hard working people. Don't you feel guilty?

Stop playing the victim already! Shame on you! I already made suggestions to you. What's so wrong with taking on line classes if that's what you need to do to go at your own pace and avoid all the people who annoy you.

I better not post on here again because this just sickens me! How do you even get "disability" on our backs just because you're so "stressed out." Seriously, please explain that one to me.

And as I said, quit worrying about girls. You have bigger fish to fry.

by the way, just curious, are you into toy boats?

That's not fair, BG, and I've lost some respect for you. I guess you would have been all for Patton striking the soldier. Emotional pain can be just as debilitating as physical. In some cases more so. this guy comes in here asking for help, and you slap his face because he offends your sensibilities. Talk about shameful.

July 8, 2010

How did you blow your chances?

Try to focus one one issue at a time and don't make so many umbrella statements that blame all of your troubles on personality. Focus on one thing at a time you want and go for it. Start with small things.

I don't know if I blew my chances or not, but it's easier if I think that I have no chance because then I don't have to worry about it. Hopefully as time passes I'll be able to call her up and we can be friends again, but I am not going to expect anything more because quite frankly I don't deserve anything more.

Thanks for the help.

July 8, 2010

That's not fair, BG, and I've lost some respect for you. I guess you would have been all for Patton striking the soldier. Emotional pain can be just as debilitating as physical. In some cases more so. this guy comes in here asking for help, and you slap his face because he offends your sensibilities. Talk about shameful.

Thank you. The reason things are harder than maybe they should be is because what she said is exactly how I feel at times. I should be able to just get over it and not be a burden on people. I feel guilty about not being able to do something about it and that just makes it worse. It's hard to understand unless you've been there. I don't expect anyone to understand where I am coming from or pity me. I just want some input from others whether it be good or bad.

July 8, 2010

I don't know if I blew my chances or not, but it's easier if I think that I have no chance because then I don't have to worry about it. Hopefully as time passes I'll be able to call her up and we can be friends again, but I am not going to expect anything more because quite frankly I don't deserve anything more.

Thanks for the help.

Everyone deserves to be happy, including you. Life can be a mean and impossible bitch sometimes but you still deserve to be happy. In many ways my life totally sucks but I would never say I deserve a crappy life. Doesn't make sense.

July 8, 2010

Thank you. The reason things are harder than maybe they should be is because what she said is exactly how I feel at times. I should be able to just get over it and not be a burden on people. I feel guilty about not being able to do something about it and that just makes it worse. It's hard to understand unless you've been there. I don't expect anyone to understand where I am coming from or pity me. I just want some input from others whether it be good or bad.

I think its good advice that you focus on one thing at a time. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the big picture. You are obviously an intelligent person with alot of potential, but for some reason, you feel like a failure. We all fail. Everyday. But if you can find one thing in your life that you can feel a measure of success from, then maybe you can move on to bigger things?

July 8, 2010

And Gero, you never answered my question. Are you or are you not into toy boats?

Sorry, I didn't notice the toy boat question. I don't know anything about toy boats.

July 8, 2010

OH ok, then you have a twin on here. No comment on the rest of my post? Okie dokie.

I honestly don't know what else to say to you, so I didn't respond to the rest.

I had back problems and was trying to get better while working, but I told you what happened. I got pissed and eventually stopped going to the chiropractor anyway. They screwed with me anyway when they gave me some device to use at home and when I took it back they said I never took it back and were trying to make me pay a few hundred dollars for it. Eventually the guy backed off because he knew my mom and he said he saw me bring it back.

My back isn't an issue now. I get stabbing pains in my lower back sometimes, but it doesn't prevent me from doing stuff. The problem I had was the back issue was the icing on the cake. I put up with a lot of stuff at that place and that was what put me over the edge.

I have been depressed and have had social anxiety to some extent for about 10 years now. When I was younger, I had no idea what my problem was really until recently. I never said anything to anyone and just tried to do my best but it's been tough the last few years.

So... there... I responded to the rest of your post.

July 9, 2010

So is my way of thinking really wrong? I don't know. I have felt for a long time that I could become a better person if I had a reason to become a better person and that reason would be if I found someone that I really cared about who also cared about me.

I'm no psychology major, but I do remember taking a basic psychology class in school. One of the theories that was brought up was Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds.htm

http://img.search.com/thumb/5/58/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.svg/400px-Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.svg.png

I'm sure that there are people that think this whole thing is a crock or whatever and I am certain that there are some people on here that know far more about psychology than I do, but according to the pyramid, the need for love/belonging is a more basic and thus more important need than esteem. How can you have self-esteem if you have no love in your life is my thought?

I for one have no great relationships with anyone that is a part of my life. Due to the fact that I have been treated like crap for most of my life, I don't have a great relationship with my family. My mom is sort of a friend than anything and I haven't had a relationship with my dad since I was 5.

I'm sort of close to my brother and sister, but it's not the same. I've been treated like I wasn't a part of the family in the past and it's hard to get over that. I don't want to go into all of the details of what happened, but it sucks and things haven't been the same since what happened a number of years ago.

My dad's side of the family are all successful and I would look up to them if it wasn't for the fact that I've basically been cut out of the family because none of them like my dad. They all live out of state as well so that makes it harder to keep in touch.

I have weird relationships with my aunt and cousin where I have been disowned a number of times. My aunt disowned me once because she drove over the top of my car and I wanted to take it to the insurance company because she refused to have a professional fix it and instead wanted her husband to do it.

I have one friend who is a leech and basically wants me to do everything for him. I've all but cut him out of my life in the last few years. I have one other friend that cool to hang out with and stuff, but things are different now that he has kids. I also have a few cool people that I talk to online, but that's it.

I'm sure most people will think that I am just making up excuses for my shortcomings or that I am playing the victim. That's fine. I'm just stating that this is my reasoning for wanting to find someone that I could build a new life with and then work on getting my confidence and everything back up.

It's a really strange situation and I am sure that 100% of the people here think that I am crazy, but that's just what happens when you over-think every aspect of life ever since you were a kid.

I know this is a long post, but please respond with your opinions whether they be negative, positive or neutral. I would just like some feedback.

July 10, 2010

I think you need to find confidence in yourself before you unleash yourself onto another person. I've been doing that for years, and it always ends in heartbreak.

Your partner is going to resent you so much if you look to them to be your confidence in life.

July 19, 2010

Long-time lurker, first time poster...

Gero-

Not sure if you are a reader but you need to check out the book "Refuse to Choose" by Barbara Sher... She is a life coach and has coined the term "Scanners" for people like you and me, who seem to have lots of interests and never seem to be able to settle on anything for any length of time. Her insights were a complete revelation to me.... her book completely changed how I feel about myself and how I am living my life.

Just so you know, you are not alone in this.... Before read Barbara's book I felt like a failure too... because I can never seem to stick with something very long. I've had 5 jobs in 10 years since getting a Masters degree... and I my last job was in a field about as far removed from what my Masters degree is in its not even funny. I just get bored easily... or, like you, if I don't like the job I am in... I quit and find another.

Anyways, Barbara also has a fourum you might want to check out:

The whole forum is here:

http://boards.barbarasher.com/viewforum.php?f=36&sid=3d190222f851f1aa584dd0070d2e2da4

And the forum Scanner forum is here:

http://boards.barbarasher.com/viewforum.php?f=30

Might want to take a look...

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