Mik12 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) hey everyone.... havent posted in a while.. basically me and my ex dated for 2 1/2 years but share a 5 year history. We were in NC for a little over 5 months. Then I re initiated contact and told her I had realized just how I had taken her for granted. So anyway for the past 3 months it's been a rollercoaster.... she basically didn't wanna get back together so I went NC...she did not take me seriously and kept reinitiating contact... I should have ignored it right? but i didnt.... now fast forward to now.. Something happened to make her realize that I was the only one who was always there for her ( long story) she asked me to sleep over at her house but when I got there she did not want to get physical... she just wanted to sleep next to me... The next day she told me how she thought about me during her entire trip to NYC... how she really felt something when i told her I wanted to treat her like a princess. Basically she just gave me a lot of false hopes... and in the end she still says she doesnt want a RS. Today I went over because she owed me money, i told her I needed to go NC and that she really needed to respect it this time... she got mad.. tried to get me to stay over longer.. wanted to spend time and show me her pictures from her trip... anything to avoid me going NC. I told her that I needed to because she didnt even want to give us a chance... she responded by saying she wasnt sure of what she wanted while crying (another way to give me hope) Anyway when i left she was pretty angry... The thing is I know that a week from now she'll find some way to get me to slip up. What can I do to really stick to this.... also is this the best option? I feel like a part of her really wants to be with me but at the same time she cant make the move...... What do you guys think about all this? Thanks Edited July 7, 2010 by Mik12
spyyder Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Who did the breaking up the first time round? Let me guess, your girl is quite young right? I think this because only the young types say stuff like 'I don't know what I want' while crying for you to stay but doesn't want to get back together - just really immature and half-baked. There is a HUGE number of male posters on LS that have this problem. Young guys tend to not get into serious relationships but young girls do and then create these stupid problems. They like the idea at first, but just aren't understanding & experienced enough. If she can't even realize that she wants you and says she doesn't want to get back together, then I REALLY wouldn't consider trying to get back. It's probably all down to something else (e.g. she being alone/bored, losing something/someone, generally unhappy, life going nowhere, etc) that is making her pull you back. She knows you would get back with her, but she doesn't really want to. I think she's just pulling you back till she finds someone else, and then she'll throw you like trash. If she said that she was scared of getting back into a relationship or something I'd say different, but she didn't so I think you should just go NC permanently.
listen_to_me_please Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) she's keeping you there while she dates and has sex with other people. Edited July 7, 2010 by listen_to_me_please
Author Mik12 Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Who did the breaking up the first time round? Let me guess, your girl is quite young right? I think this because only the young types say stuff like 'I don't know what I want' while crying for you to stay but doesn't want to get back together - just really immature and half-baked. There is a HUGE number of male posters on LS that have this problem. Young guys tend to not get into serious relationships but young girls do and then create these stupid problems. They like the idea at first, but just aren't understanding & experienced enough. If she can't even realize that she wants you and says she doesn't want to get back together, then I REALLY wouldn't consider trying to get back. It's probably all down to something else (e.g. she being alone/bored, losing something/someone, generally unhappy, life going nowhere, etc) that is making her pull you back. She knows you would get back with her, but she doesn't really want to. I think she's just pulling you back till she finds someone else, and then she'll throw you like trash. If she said that she was scared of getting back into a relationship or something I'd say different, but she didn't so I think you should just go NC permanently. Actually i left out a lot cause i was trying to be brief... She has said that she was afraid of going all in....she has reservations about this.... shes done everything except basically telling me she loves me.... its not that simple
Author Mik12 Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 she's keeping you there while she dates and has sex with other people. if only it were that simple lol
listen_to_me_please Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Actually i left out a lot cause i was trying to be brief... She has said that she was afraid of going all in....she has reservations about this.... shes done everything except basically telling me she loves me.... its not that simple it is that simple it doesn't matter what she says. its what she does and what she did is to not be with you. i agree with the above poster in totality.
Ronni_W Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 The thing is I know that a week from now she'll find some way to get me to slip up. What can I do to really stick to this Block her from your phone, email, Facebook...everything. Change all your accounts if you have to. As things stand now, you are allowing her to mess with your head and your heart. It's not that she is "getting you" to slip up, it's that you are slipping up by your own choice and free will. It's not up to her to "let you go"; it's up to you to make yourself gone. Hold yourself accountable for meeting your own needs and achieving your own goals -- there is a lot of power in that. Best of luck.
DustySaltus Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 People that truly want to be with you will do whatever it takes to make it work. When they leave the first time around they are telling you that their life is BETTER OFF with you. She should've been the one to contact you and say she was wrong and will run through hot coals for you to prove her love. She didn't do that. You contacted her at a weak moment and she used it as an opportunity to use you to her to fill HER emotional needs. This is why you have to let them come back to you. You are giving her all the power and it's UNDESERVED. Stick to NC. I know it will feel like you are back to day 1 but you have to stick with the plan to heal yourself.
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