bananaboat11 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Have fun with that. I see you crashing and burning far before I ever step foot in that arena. But again, this is off topic and i'd like to keep it on topic. So if you have nothing useful to say, i'm going to nicely ask again to bow out. Much appreciated Well, surely because an adolescent girl who doesn't learn from her own mistakes and believes she is an egomaniacal self-aggrandizer says that I fail at life then I guess I do.
bananaboat11 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Ok... I'm not usually this much of an ass, but Erica... you need to realize. You're a brat living in a surreal world. Get over yourself. So my apologies for harsh words spoken, but realize... you're not perfect. No one is. The way you give advice and then threads like this... irritate the **** out of me.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Well at least you've learnt from it and are moving on now Have to say I've learnt so much from my break up last year and am actually enjoying putting what I've learnt into practice All the best to you. You're right. I did make many mistakes in that relationship. I should have left it alone to begin with. But now, I can honestly (and safely) say that i've moved passed that relationship Never been happier
DenverBachelor Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I'm just going to be an ass because I can... but you are foolish in believing your lusterless view on this situation is completely different. Like me, you too are an adolescent, regardless of age or experience with a juvenile outlook on these instances. Is this why you have so much trouble with women? Talking down to them and then assuming you know what they're thinking and when they respectfully tell you that you are wrong, you go on some diatribe about psychology and human behaviour. Dude, what happened to the funny and self-depreciating Banana?
DenverBachelor Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Ok... I'm not usually this much of an ass, but Erica... you need to realize. You're a brat living in a surreal world. Get over yourself. Why don't you STFU and lay off Erica, all right? We've all got our problems. You can be a really mean person.
bananaboat11 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Is this why you have so much trouble with women? Talking down to them and then assuming you know what they're thinking and when they respectfully tell you that you are wrong, you go on some diatribe about psychology and human behaviour. Dude, what happened to the funny and self-depreciating Banana? Personally.. I'm just sick and tired of Erica dishing it out to me ON and OFF LS... I'm not an ass. I don't feel I must be apologetic in this instance. If you knew half the **** she's said to me (and I didn't lash out at her arrogance at the time)... again, you do not. I can only be who I am. And in this case, I was wrong, but I needed to finally vent at her. I'm tired of her petty, feeble bull****. Did you get that? I admit I'm wrong. And I only self-deprecated because I was not mentally stable due to illogical reasonings onset by a sudden void in myself because of a broken relationship. Have no reason to self-deprecate, though... but no reason to be a pompous, arrogant douche either. Erica may be a charming, lovely maiden... but at this point in time, DB... I respect you.... I will "bow-out gracefully". I hope you and I may stay on good terms. Eventually, hoping erica and I may reconcile our e-friendship, but for now... au revoir.
bananaboat11 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Why don't you STFU and lay off Erica, all right? We've all got our problems. You can be a really mean person. Of course I can be mean. You can be mean too. I still respect you. I still respect Erica. She just needs to know she's not above reproach. No one is.
DenverBachelor Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Personally.. I'm just sick and tired of Erica dishing it out to me ON and OFF LS... I'm not an ass. I don't feel I must be apologetic in this instance. If you knew half the **** she's said to me (and I didn't lash out at her arrogance at the time)... again, you do not. I can only be who I am. And in this case, I was wrong, but I needed to finally vent at her. I'm tired of her petty, feeble bull****. What you and Erica said to one another on Facebook or in private messages is between the two of you, but why are you putting your crap out on the street for everyone to see? If you don't like what Erica has to say, then just ignore it. There isn't a need to attack her in a public place just to help you feel like more of a man. Is that how you go about feeling better about your life?
Author EricaH329 Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Why don't you STFU and lay off Erica, all right? We've all got our problems. You can be a really mean person. Thank you DB. I really appreciate it. What you and Erica said to one another on Facebook or in private messages is between the two of you, but why are you putting your crap out on the street for everyone to see? If you don't like what Erica has to say, then just ignore it. There isn't a need to attack her in a public place just to help you feel like more of a man. Is that how you go about feeling better about your life? If he would like to speak with me about the issues he has with me, it can be done in private. I, too, believe it's unnecessary to ramble on in public about something that really has no relevance to the topic of discussion. Rob - I've lost respect for you after doing what you have just done. If you do not like me, or the way that I go about giving advice, all you had to do was privately tell me that you are no longer interested in remaining friends. I have deleted you from FB because I do not have friends that act in this manner. I hope that whatever issues you are dealing with will be worked out. As far as I am concerned, I would very much appreciate it if you could stay away from any thread I make from this point on. Thanks.
CLC2008 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I don't have anything to add to this thread except that I too find many of Erica's posts to be helpful. Everyone responds in their own way, nonetheless.
GrayClouds Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Anyone here who post advice is on some level is a hypocrite. Likely I am on the top of the list at times. But that is part of the benefit of offering advice, by directing others the best way forward, we challenge ourselves to work harder to do the same. In other words, when we post to others, we talk to ourselves. And tack withstanding, BB post here was some of the stronger most direct self realization BB has given himself. I have to say, again done with the tack of the proverbial bull in a china shop, it should not be missed BB's original point is valid. The subtext of Erica's post, despite her insistence is about how she is showing interest in her EX. The fact of checking out him on FB, she chooses to project a state on being on him that is little more then a guess with the inference it is in connection to her. Her flat out refusal to entertain the idea that she is still in a place of holding on, sadly suggest she neither at or yet willing to go to here her heart would like to be. It also suggest that it likely it really has little to do with the EX but some more complex issue for which at this time she is not ready to face directly. Finally Denver Bachelor... it is simply nice to see something recent from you that is not suggesting that all could be solved by having a happy hook-up. Ironically enough in this case of tit-for-tat it may be just what is needed. .
spriggig Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I have to say, again done with the tack of the proverbial bull in a china shop, it should not be missed BB's original point is valid. An aside; GrayClouds, I remember your helpful posts to me from a couple of months ago, but I also remember how broken your English was--I had to read your posts a few times before I understood what you were trying to say. Your English has improved considerably.
GrayClouds Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 (edited) An aside; GrayClouds, I remember your helpful posts to me from a couple of months ago, but I also remember how broken your English was--I had to read your posts a few times before I understood what you were trying to say. Your English has improved considerably. me thank you berry much, I think cutting back some on my recreational heroin use has helped. Who knew there was a thing called drug dependent dyslexia "Correct" spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma'ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world” Edited July 8, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author EricaH329 Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 I don't have anything to add to this thread except that I too find many of Erica's posts to be helpful. Everyone responds in their own way, nonetheless. Thank you CLC!! I find your posts to be very helpful as well I'm lucky to have a friend like you Anyone here who post advice is on some level is a hypocrite. Likely I am on the top of the list at times. But that is part of the benefit of offering advice, by directing others the best way forward, we challenge ourselves to work harder to do the same. In other words, when we post to others, we talk to ourselves. And tack withstanding, BB post here was some of the stronger most direct self realization BB has given himself. I believe it's much easier to give advice than to actually follow it. I do agree with you on that. However, I will not comment on BB and his self realizations, mostly due to the fact that this thread is not about him, nor should have ever been about him. I have to say, again done with the tack of the proverbial bull in a china shop, it should not be missed BB's original point is valid. When people lash out the way that BB has, in such an uncouth manner, I am not able to sift through the rudeness to reach any point or take them seriously. The subtext of Erica's post, despite her insistence is about how she is showing interest in her EX. The fact of checking out him on FB, she chooses to project a state on being on him that is little more then a guess with the inference it is in connection to her. Her flat out refusal to entertain the idea that she is still in a place of holding on, sadly suggest she neither at or yet willing to go to here her heart would like to be. It also suggest that it likely it really has little to do with the EX but some more complex issue for which at this time she is not ready to face directly. I do care about him. I've already stated that. So yes, in some ways he is still connected to me. Although, i'm much happier without him, which is why I haven't (and will never) go back to him again. The fact that he is unhappy isn't new news. He has been unhappy for a very long time. Even when he was with me, he was unhappy. It is just now starting to physically show. I was sad to know that he was unhappy to begin with, and I still am to this day. Do I think it's because he isn't with me? Nope. If that were the case, he would have been happy in our relationship together. He is unhappy with himself, and until he finds a way to work on that issue by himself, he'll never be happy. You cannot find happiness with another person until you can find happiness with yourself.
bananaboat11 Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 I believe it's much easier to give advice than to actually follow it. I do agree with you on that. However, I will not comment on BB and his self realizations, mostly due to the fact that this thread is not about him, nor should have ever been about him. When people lash out the way that BB has, in such an uncouth manner, I am not able to sift through the rudeness to reach any point or take them seriously. This thread was never about me. I never claimed it to be. This thread is all about you, darling. It always has been.
Author EricaH329 Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 Anyway, i'd like to thank everyone who participated in a constructive way in this thread. I really appreciate it! However, I think it's time for this thread to die down. I needed to vent, and LS has allowed me that privilege. I don't feel the need to discuss this any further. Thanks again guys!
mickleb Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Anyway, i'd like to thank everyone who participated in a constructive way in this thread. I really appreciate it! However, I think it's time for this thread to die down. I needed to vent, and LS has allowed me that privilege. I don't feel the need to discuss this any further. Thanks again guys! This thread was a non-starter to begin with, really. If it were simply a vent, it should have really gone here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/f45/ shouldn't it? (When I crashed my car and needed to vent, I did it there.) The point of the rest of this website is to stimulate debate/conversation with the objective that those who contribute or read threads will learn how to improve their relations with others. And of course, please correct me if I'm wrong. (Come to think of it, I don't know how a Coping thread about a dead dog can achiveve this, so let me rethink.. ) If LSers want people to respond to the points they make and post them in any other forum, they need to be prepared for the spectrum of replies they might receive. The good, the bad and the the ugly. That's what this place is all about. You unpick your 'truth' from what you get, if you can be bothered. If you announce your private thoughts 'in public' you are essentially putting yourself up on a soap box so it's best to be prepared for an occasional thrown egg. That goes for all of us as much as it does for the two of you squabbling. The advice regarding personal attacks or comments that do not seem constructive to the thread is, generally, to ignore them. If you think a rule has been broken, report it. Yes, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but we all need to be mature enough to admit, as GC points out, that we all do it from time to time. My personal favourite comment on here was from McGrupp, though. Made me laugh out loud! Take care of yourselves and others. Oh but before I go to work, GC, what about schoolma'ams who are neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world? x
GrayClouds Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 reunion week up on LoveShack Yes, and once again dad drank to much and start fighting with mom, but you got to love family no matter how dysfunctional it gets at times
HeavenOrHell Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Yep!! Yes, and once again dad drank to much and start fighting with mom, but you got to love family no matter how dysfunctional it gets at times
GrayClouds Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Oh but before I go to work, GC, what about schoolma'ams who are neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world? x As good ol' mom would say "they have a special cross to bare and will be rewarded in heaven"... though since you're a bit agnostic on the whole heaven affair, you may simple be screwed.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Most ex's would be thrilled to find out that their previous lovers are not doing so well. It pains me. It actually hurts me more to know that he isn't doing well, than it is to know that he is happy. (I had to come looking for you again - haven't seen your posts in ages, and was thinking you'd been into that once-new guy) Your statement above seems like clear indication that you would very much like that 'ex' back in your romantic life. I know that you are saying/thinking "nooooooooooooooooooooo" as you read this, but your statements don't match such a feeling. Most break-ups evolve to where both parties are just so dissatisfied with one another that they SPLIT, and each feels some sort of an ego investment relating to getting back on their feet socially/romantically before the other one does. Most people break-up and there is some point akin to a straw breaking the camel's back where their emotional investments IN one another come as near to 'zero' as they've been in a long, long time. So when they're near to zero like that, they either don't care what becomes of that ex, or they live each day to fill their dance card before the ex fills his/hers. You are showing the opposite signs, and it sends a strong message. Say/write what you want here, but it doesn't add up the way you want it to. (and y'know, continuing to maintain a strong emotional investment in a lost lover isn't THAT terrible a fate, but the best remedy for it is giving it your all out in the present, ongoing social world around you)
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