SouthernGal Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 This past weekend I spent some time with my boyfriend at his home. While hanging out in the bedroom, I noticed he had an open box of condoms in the nightstand next to his bed. We have never used condoms during the time we have been in a relationship. He walked over and closed the drawer quickly, as to try and keep me from seeing them, but it was too late - I'd seen them. I didn't say anything to him that night. Several times during the night I woke up as I could not stop thinking about what I saw - it really bothered me. The next morning, as I lay in bed crying, he starts to hug on me. He notices that I don't respond. H e asks me what's rong, and I ask him if there is someone else. He tells me no, and wants to know why I asked him that. I told him I saw the condoms in his nightstand, he told me that they belong to a friend of his (who is married) who would sometimes come over to his house with his mistress. I aske dhim if his friend had been there recently, he told me no, that he hasn't been there in a long time. I asked him why he was still holding on to the condoms, his answer was "I don't know." He then asked me if I had condoms, just to have or from old relationships that I've had in the past. I don't keep them because one - we haven't used them during the time we've been in a relationship, and two - if I'm not in a relationship then there is no need for me to have them. I don't believe him when he tells me they belong to his friend. For real - is he cheating? I get the feeling he is.
Daniel89 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Things don't quite make sense at all, and you have every reason to doubt his honesty. I personally think he is cheating as well. I'd suggest to try and get him to take a lie detector test so those doubts can be confirmed.
Diezel Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I'd suggest to try and get him to take a lie detector test so those doubts can be confirmed. Uhhh... no.
Daniel89 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 She wants to know the truth in her relationship, and she clearly feels she cant work out what's right. I hinted the lie detector because it actually does confirm lies. Two people on a forum claiming her boyfriend cheating doesn't confirm anything, thats just our opinion.
oldguy Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Letting a married friend use your place to have sex with his mistress would cause me to question his moral stance but that aside, I'm assuming that since the condoms are in the night stand next to his bed that the "friend" is carrying on his affair in his bed also and that is just a little disturbing. Just to add fuel to the fire; Do you know who the married friend is, or the gender of the married friend and who he/she is having the affair with? I think I would at the very least start using the condoms, just to be safe.
Diezel Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 She wants to know the truth in her relationship, and she clearly feels she cant work out what's right. I hinted the lie detector because it actually does confirm lies. Two people on a forum claiming her boyfriend cheating doesn't confirm anything, thats just our opinion. I see your intentions, but as soon as she tells him that she wants him to take a lie detector test, he will fly off the handle and get mad at her for not trusting him. This isn't a movie, you can't just TELL someone to take a lie detector test and expect them to agree to it. Doing that is a lose-lose situation and it's WORSE than actually taking any other approach. Her spider senses are tingling, which means she's probably right. And I'm sorry, but I don't keep condoms for my buddies for when they're banging mistresses. But a lie detector test? Really?
Daniel89 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I see your intentions, but as soon as she tells him that she wants him to take a lie detector test, he will fly off the handle and get mad at her for not trusting him. This isn't a movie, you can't just TELL someone to take a lie detector test and expect them to agree to it. Doing that is a lose-lose situation and it's WORSE than actually taking any other approach. Her spider senses are tingling, which means she's probably right. And I'm sorry, but I don't keep condoms for my buddies for when they're banging mistresses. But a lie detector test? Really? You make it seem outrageous. I'm not forcing her to take a lie detector test. I just know people who have done them and it has produced the results for them. If he isnt lying, surely he should be willing to take one anyway.
Diezel Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 You make it seem outrageous. I'm not forcing her to take a lie detector test. I just know people who have done them and it has produced the results for them. If he isnt lying, surely he should be willing to take one anyway. Yes, and this isn't the Maury Povich show. Nor the cops.
CailinPig Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 This is outrageous, I'd almost bet my life savings he's cheating. No one 'keeps' condoms for their friend, that's weird, no one does it. And no one lets their friend sleep with their mistress in their bed. But the main thing to show that he's cheating - he immediately closed the drawer for fear you would see.
Diezel Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 But the main thing to show that he's cheating - he immediately closed the drawer for fear you would see. EXACTLY. If they were his friend's... why be so hasty about closing the drawer?
Dark-Farmer Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 There are reason's a person in a committed relationship (who isn't cheating) would need condoms, even if the girl was on the pill. Like if she accidentally missed a pill or two or decided not to take the pill any more or missed renewing a perscription. All three of these have happened to a girl i was seeing before. If my girlfriend went on the pill and i had a opened box of condoms i wouldn't throw them away. With that being said, it is definitely weird he rushed to close the drawer. Although that could of been misinterpreted. He may have been just closing the open drawer. But what makes his excuse really shakey is that he blamed it on "his friend". It just makes it seem like a storey even if it was true. I'm assuming you haven't looked in the drawer before, becuase if the box just recently appeared then he probably guilty of something.
Krytie TV Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I have never heard such a lame explanation for having condoms. To think that you even consider this could be true indicates you have a long way to go here. He's up to something. If you want to open your eyes to that, you'll know what you have to do.
Author SouthernGal Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 His friend = Him Yes, I thought so too!
Author SouthernGal Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Things don't quite make sense at all, and you have every reason to doubt his honesty. I personally think he is cheating as well. I'd suggest to try and get him to take a lie detector test so those doubts can be confirmed. Lie Detector Test? I wouldn't go this far!!! But thanks for your contribution to the post.
Author SouthernGal Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Letting a married friend use your place to have sex with his mistress would cause me to question his moral stance but that aside, I'm assuming that since the condoms are in the night stand next to his bed that the "friend" is carrying on his affair in his bed also and that is just a little disturbing. Just to add fuel to the fire; Do you know who the married friend is, or the gender of the married friend and who he/she is having the affair with? I think I would at the very least start using the condoms, just to be safe. Yes, it is disturbing that he allows his friend to carry on his affair in his bed that we sleep in. I don't know who his friend is as I've never met the friend, but he always refers to the friend as a "he." No need to start using condoms, I've made the decision to make a move away from this situation.
Author SouthernGal Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 This is outrageous, I'd almost bet my life savings he's cheating. No one 'keeps' condoms for their friend, that's weird, no one does it. And no one lets their friend sleep with their mistress in their bed. But the main thing to show that he's cheating - he immediately closed the drawer for fear you would see. I don't know anyone who would keep condoms for their friends. Why can't they keep their own condoms!!!
Krytie TV Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I don't know anyone who would keep condoms for their friends. Why can't they keep their own condoms!!! Are you really still believing him?
melissa123 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 How well do you know his friend? Any chance you could ask him the truth? Even if you just have to casually slip it into the conversation somewhere?
Author SouthernGal Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 There are reason's a person in a committed relationship (who isn't cheating) would need condoms, even if the girl was on the pill. Like if she accidentally missed a pill or two or decided not to take the pill any more or missed renewing a perscription. All three of these have happened to a girl i was seeing before. If my girlfriend went on the pill and i had a opened box of condoms i wouldn't throw them away. With that being said, it is definitely weird he rushed to close the drawer. Although that could of been misinterpreted. He may have been just closing the open drawer. But what makes his excuse really shakey is that he blamed it on "his friend". It just makes it seem like a storey even if it was true. I'm assuming you haven't looked in the drawer before, becuase if the box just recently appeared then he probably guilty of something. If someone is closing the drawer that quickly the way he did, then I don't feel it was any misinterpretation. He was definitely trying to hide them.
Mimolicious Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 "Married Friend"= the OW your BF is splacking. Let's cut it out with the 007 shenanigans. If you really wanted to know I am sure you have better ways than to go all high tech about it.
2sunny Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 If someone is closing the drawer that quickly the way he did, then I don't feel it was any misinterpretation. He was definitely trying to hide them. bingo! he's seeing someone else as much as you. do you live close to him/see him often? has he given you reason to wonder about him in the past?
vestigalvirgin Posted July 9, 2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Southern Gal, even assuming the story your bf told you is true, you should think about ditching him. He claims the condoms belong to a married friend who uses your bf's place to tryst with his mistress. This makes your bf a partner in crime to the betrayal of the married friend's innocent spouse, which is low and unsavory. You need to spend your time with a better class of gentlemen.
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