Girlfriend Cheated

[JustJoe]

"crikey"? WTF is that?:laugh:

[Leia]

"crikey"? WTF is that?:laugh:

 

I picked it up watching Steve Irwin before Something like "blimey!"

[phineas]

so he essentially kidnapped her & locked her in his room at a party full of people & nobody did anything?

 

Is this guy a major drug dealer or something where nobody would object to him dragging a chick into his room?

 

honestly.

 

How old is she?

I mean if this is the best she can come up with she can't be too bright or she thinks your a moron that will actually buy that load of crap.

 

Take it from someone divorcing their wife for cheating.

She banged this guy.

 

She isn't going to go through all the trouble to lie to you just so she can go to a party & kiss an ex.

[dyelawn]

see the thing is she admitted to still feel feelings for him even before that a few months ago she admitted to it but i thought she was over it. I understand what all you are saying but she told me while she was in his room the door wasnt closed and she was sitting on the other side of the bed. Eventually he came over and tried to kiss her but she denied it so much. Then she just eventually gave in and kissed back a few times then she moved away and she just layed down on the bed cause she didnt wanna stay but ended up getting tired and was like still all messed with the old feelings and all so he was like wanna go to sleep and she was like yes. She says she was wearing sweats and a shirt and that nothing came off. She says he kept trying to pull her close but she kept moving away and all then he attempted to put his hand some place and was like "can i" and she flipped and told him absolutly ****ing not. and then he didnt attempt any more. Idn maybe im a fool but i believe her in a way. Trust me i have went through feeling what you guys are saying but i even talked to her best best best friend of life like one she tells everything to and i can trust her alot and she says that my gf didnt do anything with him. and she didnt plan on goin she apparently was going to go to bed but then started getting texts and just decided to go even though i told her before if she ever hung out with him id be mad.

 

Most of you probably think im a fool but idn im just so confused and all and trying to look for some hope. I dont cheat i dont steal i dont lie, i was raised on those beliefs so i have big problems against it but im still trying to look for some hope.

[JustJoe]

Dude, Like the old saying,"hope for the best, but prepare for the worst". I think that you are being played, and really don't have the courage to take action. No disrespect, but if you let this slide, it WILL happen again. There comes a time when all of the good will and kind thoughts won't help the situation. You are wayyyy past that time. Confront your GF, the OM and tell them that unless you get some straight answers, it is all over. Time to man-up.

[Hop_prophet]

Yes to be blunt you are being a fool. Every single person has come on here telling you same thing. You really think they are all wrong??? Cheaters are practiced expert liars and will minimize and blameshift till the cows come home.

 

Besides does it really even matter if she screwed him?? She already lied to you and cheated crossing every conceivable line and violated your trust. You are going to ridiculous lengths to justify her behavior. There is no hope and you will NEVER get the truth from her. I just hope you realize it sooner rather than later.

[Diezel]

I'm actually hoping it's a troll.

[TheLove]

Hi dyelawn,

 

You needed advice that is why you posted to this forum.

 

I understand how you feel because you love this girl so much.

 

Understand this....

 

1. The reason why she had to tell you the truth was because she was at a party and so many people who know you are with her could have told you so (she did that to cover her ass!).

 

2. According to your words..."she admitted to having feelings for him still even before that night like she just was left not knowing because he went away and the relationship just ended and then she met me and ours began"....Sound like a case of the "Rebound Guy" to me....

3. Again, according to your words...."she admits to not callin me and all that a cab a friend tho because she thought maybe she does have feelings for him, but now she realized she doesn't she realized it was stupid obv she will but like what if by chance it was a thing testing her feelings like closure to that relationship that just ended because he went away?... She has been using you as back up all this while. She probably realized this guy lied to her to get her in bed with him the night of the party (you can never say for sure that she did not sleep with him...). When she realized there was no place for her in his life anymore, she comes back to you hence she said, according to your words "...."now she realized it was stupid obv".

 

I know you love her, all I am saying is she will very likely continue to lie, cheat on you and eventually leave you some day.

 

Many women respect and love men who are strong and have a high sense of self-esteem.

The decision is yours........

 

If you are prepared to be in a relationship where a girl treats you like trash, that is your decision.

 

But you cannot remain this kind of a guy and take a load of rubbish and lies if you want her to be the sort of girl that will respect you.

The right girl for you may be out there.......

 

Leave your options open..........................

 

Beat her at her own game............................

 

If a sweet opportunity comes with an honest and more respectful girl comes, take it and enjoy your life with your new-found love, otherwise, if you choose to stay with this girl, you need to be a different person and watch your back everyday....., you never know when next she will strike......

I wish you all the best of luck in Love and Life...... Cheers Man.....

[Iconoclast]

Well, if you want to keep her, then keep her.

As long as you KNOW that she did sleep with him. Yes she is lying to you.

As long as you KNOW the twisted part of this is her story, she actually expects you to believe it such a tale, utter hogwash,....and you do.

You're being a patsy, cause you're in love and can't imagine being without her, you're in emotional trauma, grasping at anything that looks like a handle.

Maybe it'll never happen again. But KNOW that it already did, just admit it to yourself.

Perhaps they were special circumstances that will never arise again. Perhaps not.

 

If you can go foward KNOWING all that, well, then all the power to you. Good luck.

[In Like Flynn]

She says she was wearing sweats and a shirt and that nothing came off.

 

This was a interesting statement she made. Why would she wear this to a party???

 

She stated she still had feelings and wanted to see if there was still a spark between them. Obviously her feeling for him trumped what she had for you by what she admitted to. How does it feel to know that you are second best.....not matter if once was with him that night see states that basically what she had hoped was still there was not. What if there was??? Where would you be then?

[Dexter Morgan]

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for over 8 months now and it has been a very serious relationship, no fights, no problems.

 

so if she cheats in such early stages of your relationship, what do you think will happen when the "newness" of your relationship wears off?

 

you are young, don't wast your time with a girl like this. there are tons of fish in the sea, so grab your pole (fishing pole that is) and use a bobber so you don't bottom fish.

 

get out there and enjoy life, cuz I assure you that you won't enjoy life if you stay with someone that would cheat so early on like this(or cheat period no matter when its done)

[road]

dyelawn

Sorry to be harsh but this is what really happened that night. First she lied to you. Then she got banged in every orifice that she had by the OM as many times as he could all night long. Then told another lie about only sleeping there.

 

Dump her.

[dispatch3d]

see the thing is she admitted to still feel feelings for him even before that a few months ago she admitted to it but i thought she was over it. I understand what all you are saying but she told me while she was in his room the door wasnt closed and she was sitting on the other side of the bed. Eventually he came over and tried to kiss her but she denied it so much. Then she just eventually gave in and kissed back a few times then she moved away and she just layed down on the bed cause she didnt wanna stay but ended up getting tired and was like still all messed with the old feelings and all so he was like wanna go to sleep and she was like yes. She says she was wearing sweats and a shirt and that nothing came off. She says he kept trying to pull her close but she kept moving away and all then he attempted to put his hand some place and was like "can i" and she flipped and told him absolutly ****ing not. and then he didnt attempt any more. Idn maybe im a fool but i believe her in a way.

 

Soo let's stop taking the likely-cheaters side for starters. If you are actually going to investigate this you have to be a hard ass with her and challenge the details that don't add up (because she's either white lieing, avoiding telling the truth in these, or soemthing else).

 

She gave in and KISSED BACK? Uhhh what? There is no requirement here for her to kiss back. So it wasn't just him kissing her and her telling him to **** off. He kissed her, she was like no, he kissed her again, still no, then he kissed her again and she returned the kiss. For most people THIS IS CHEATING.

 

She didn't want to stay? In the first post he MADE her stay with force. Now she all the sudden had a choice of whether to go or stay and chose to stay. More twisting of words/lieing.

 

Ahhh now the last comment is the worst of them all. She wore sweats and a tshirt to a party and took a cab there with her friends? Where do I start. Why would she wear sweats to a party? If she didn't wear them where did they come from? No clothes came off? I feel like she's playing her cards here, because everything happened with her clothes still on... she doesn't have to get naked to have sex, or do other things. Did she actually cab there with friends? Was there actually a party?

 

I'll spare you my harsh conclusion through an edit (it was here). I think there's a good chance she SLEPT in sweats+a tshirt while she was in bed nothing came off WHILE IN BED. Something came off before bed and she changed into his clothes? I don't understand how she has sweats there.

 

At the very minimum there are a TON of lies surrounding this entire night. The biggest thing is you only know the tip of the iceberg you can see... as in the ones that are so clearly lies she can't deny them.

Edited July 9, 2010 by dispatch3d

[robdrm32]

Look man i've been in this situation a few times and I see what your doing.

 

You're holding on to the hope that she is a good person and would never do anything to hurt you. The fact is she lied to you, regardless of whether or not she had sex with this guy. She feels guilty but doesn't want to tell the whole truth because she knows it will hurt you too much.

 

You are trying to rationalize her decisions, its obvious and dude i've been there before, thats how i can tell.

 

My advice: Cut off contact with her, mourn the loss, cry get it all out, and pick yourself back up and go back to the time before you even met her and hopefully you will see you don't need her in your life.

 

Don't hang on to her because she is only going to hurt you again.

[Lucky318]

I'm not here to judge, just like friends, you can give advice but ultimately you have to live with the decisions. what everyone is saying is pretty good ADVICE but it seems you are not really wanting to know what to do, you already know what you WANT to do. therefore, maybe you should at least consider a break from her. for your own sake, as many have said maybe you will realize your better off or at the very least make her feel what it's like to lose you, to not have you there all the time. Maybe this will help her realize what you already have and that she really couldn't hurt you again.

 

I know what it feels like not to trust and I struggle with it every day, if you figure out a way to eventually trust her after this, let me know because from what I've learned, it never comes back around.... good luck.

[kevinm1019]

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for over 8 months now and it has been a very serious relationship, no fights, no problems. She has always told me how much she loves me and how much she would never hurt me or cheat because she absolutly is against cheaters like i am. I hate cheating worth a passion. So the other night she told me she was going to sleep at like 12 am and all like usual which is all cool. So the next day i met up with her and all and she was all fine and everything. So that night she was at a party and later on we were texting and i found out she admited, instead of going to sleep that night she went out to a party at her exs house. She lied to me about sleepin and all. Then i found out that while there her ex admited to wanting her back and all and she was alone with him in his room away from the party. Turns out she ended up refusing him tryin to kiss her but then eventually gave in and kissed him back quite a few times. Then she says he wouldnt let her leave and had her keys and all and so she ended up spending the entire night sleeping next to him in his bed. I know she didnt go further or anything but to lie, then kiss him, then spend the entire night with him still is cheating to me at least. It hurts me alot because i really can't trust her now, i have forgivin her because i dont wanna be without her because i know we can be together forever and she tells me for sure she will never hurt me or let anything happen like that again and has eliminated all communication with him. Am i wrong to take her back so easily? i dont trust her and wont for a long time at all, but should i have just forced her away to see if she truly comes back? Im so confused i have never been cheated on and i didnt think she would. I absolutly hate cheaters but i cant be without her.

Dyelawn... come on... you appear to be a very smart man. I don't mean to hurt your feelings but your girlfriend had a multitude of choices and options she could have used other than the ones she chose to make on the night in question. As other people have stated in this post... if she had feelings for her ex... (1) why was she with you for 8 months, (2) if she had good intentions, why would she put herself in an environment to explore those feelings, meaning the bedroom, (3) why would she spend the night in bed with him and (4) why would she deceive you to begin with if she didn't mean for this to happen? The bottom line is she wanted to test the waters to see where it could go and if her ex has exhibited an sense of growth or maturity... she would continue to have her affair with him. The bottom line is she thought it would be better to reveal her indiscretions after she deceived you out of fear you would've discovered it through someone else. To protect her interests in you, she is pretending to be the misguided and misunderstood woman who was lost in emotional turmoil. The truth is... she was being selfish, made a poor decision and thought she could get away with it but realized you would see through her deception sooner or later so she's trying to save face. The question is... if you have to worry about all of these things... is it worth it? One thing I've learned from my fiancee's affair is this... if you demonstrate weakness... that person will find a way to try to not get caught next time... if you show acceptance... you are likely to experience the same actions or like actions again... if you pretend the issue of unfaithfulness is misunderstood... you will continue to experience unfaithfulness and your girlfriend sharing intimacy on many levels with someone else over... and over... and over... and over again. Whether it is holding hands, staring into each other's eyes, a kiss, an intimate hug, intimate conversation, passionate sex or making love. Please look at this situation for what it is vs. what you want it to be and making excuses for your girlfriend or you will continue to get hurt, be hurt and have her remain unfaithful to you.

[ComputerJock]

Dyelawn I expect to see you back here the next time your girl friend cheats again, and she will cheat again, or when she drops you and moves in with the other guy. I hope you listened to the advice given here and put it into effect, if not, we'll be seeing you again.

Good Luck

 

ComputerJock