Author SarahRose Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 OP, unless there's something unique about this potential partner which brings value into the business, I'd suggest investigating subcontracting the welding/fabrication out to him as appropriate, or bidding it out. I do this kind of work for a living (for about 30 years now) and am a subcontract vendor for numerous businesses. IME, employees are expensive and partners must be chosen exceedingly carefully. All I needed was one divorce to teach me about the latter I agree with TBF that you should obtain concrete facts and perspectives as to the advantages/costs of bringing this potential partner on-board. Then, if you and your H are indeed partners in this new venture (you don't have to be just because you're married), make a decision as a *team*. Good luck You are right. A contractor would be ideal. There is nothing unique about this guy. True I don't have to have a business with him at all. I am very very successful at my current career which is probably why I am even more hesitant to do something that would cause us financial ruin. As for facts, I only know what he has told me.
Art_Critic Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 The idea of starting a business was for this guy to print some cards to pass out and my husband buys all the materials and equipment and then they do the jobs together. Kinda like when 2 teenagers get together and they cut yards for the summer.. One guy brings his Dad's lawnmower the other prints the fliers and stuffs mailboxes and they are partners Oh.. well then.. If thats the case I wouldn't want to be a partner to him either.. People like that will dissolve the partnership in the same fashion they threw it together.. on a whim...
xxoo Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I think it is rather insulting to men to think they are so delicate that they should never be questioned. This is a serious thing which could mean financial ruin for us and I won't sugarcoat it. Then again you are assuming I'm grilling him about it which I am not. Lots of women pussyfoot around and go along with half baked schemes and end up in dire straights because of love. You definitely should question him, but have an attitude of "I want to understand your point of view". It doesn't mean you have to agree, but truly seek to understand. Ask lots of questions! Why is he opposed to hiring the welder as an employee? Maybe the welder is unwilling to accept that position, and he REALLY wants this guy aboard? If so, why? A partner is personally invested in the business. What investment will this welder make? Yes, you said he doesn't have money--but ask the question and listen to his answer. What about discussing the issue with a neutral third party? Can you hire a consultant to advise on the partnership issue--someone that both of you would respect?
xxoo Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Also, you don't have to insist you are right and his is wrong. You can simply say, "I am uncomfortable with his partnership under these circumstances. I'm not willing to move forward on the project unless he is equally invested," or something like that. Focus on your specific concern with the situation, and use "I" statements.
vestigalvirgin Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Before involving the welder either as a partner, contractor, or employee, I would require him to provide credit reports from all three major agencies: Equifax, TransUnion and Experian.
threebyfate Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I think it is rather insulting to men to think they are so delicate that they should never be questioned. This is a serious thing which could mean financial ruin for us and I won't sugarcoat it. Then again you are assuming I'm grilling him about it which I am not. Lots of women pussyfoot around and go along with half baked schemes and end up in dire straights because of love.Good god, do you always react in such a polarized fashion? Why draw the assumption that it's a situation of never being questioned? Who wears the pants in your family? How's extreme control working for you?
califnan Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Good god, do you always react in such a polarized fashion? Why draw the assumption that it's a situation of never being questioned? Who wears the pants in your family? How's extreme control working for you? ------------------ I don't understand this post.. Husband and Wife are already Partners.. One has every reason to question the other and even be shocked when the other is making a haphazard, illogical decision regarding someone's permanence affecting their future.
carhill Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 OP, it sounds like your strengths are in business and finance. If so, boil those down into a practical perspective which your husband, perhaps not sharing your strengths, can grasp, process and implement. His part is doing the same with his strengths for you, as there are likely aspects of the business which you are weak on and could use more information and insight. Working as a team wins for everyone. If that teamwork results in this third person coming on as a partner, OK. If not, not. I remember going through this when stbx wanted to open a salon on our property. I had the building and was willing to put in the infrastructure and add the appropriate insurances/licenses. Those were my strengths. Hers were substantial experience in her business. She ultimately decided it wasn't a smart business move and subsequently rented space in a more popular area and chose to commute instead. We looked at the options and made a decision, with her tipping the scale at the end because, after all, it was *her* business. Hope things work out
threebyfate Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 OP, it sounds like your strengths are in business and finance. If so, boil those down into a practical perspective which your husband, perhaps not sharing your strengths, can grasp, process and implement. His part is doing the same with his strengths for you, as there are likely aspects of the business which you are weak on and could use more information and insight. Working as a team wins for everyone. If that teamwork results in this third person coming on as a partner, OK. If not, not. I remember going through this when stbx wanted to open a salon on our property. I had the building and was willing to put in the infrastructure and add the appropriate insurances/licenses. Those were my strengths. Hers were substantial experience in her business. She ultimately decided it wasn't a smart business move and subsequently rented space in a more popular area and chose to commute instead. We looked at the options and made a decision, with her tipping the scale at the end because, after all, it was *her* business. Hope things work out Yup, I couldn't agree more. I illustrate the pertinent words with bolding.
silverfish Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 ------------------ I don't understand this post.. Husband and Wife are already Partners.. One has every reason to question the other and even be shocked when the other is making a haphazard, illogical decision regarding someone's permanence affecting their future. Never thought I'd say this, but I agree completely. It is difficult to talk unemotionally about business related matters with your partner (I know, I did it for over 6 years), but it is possible. The way we tried was to not discuss work at home, and to have meetings to resolve any issues that came up, sometimes involving senior members of staff if necessary. It sounds is though your husband is making decisions based on how he feels (emotionally) rather than what is best for the business, and that is not fair on the other partner.
threebyfate Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 SarahRose, I'm like you in that we have dominant personality types. What people like us have to learn, is to modify our behaviour. Control IS what kills relationships. Whether he has the experience or not, doesn't mean he isn't capable of getting there. The more you flatten someone, the less likely they'll be able to make good decisions in future. In doing so, you create a codependency, where he never matures in those areas and then NEEDS you to take over but will resent you for doing so. I sometimes struggle with my husband's lack of knowledge with finance and investments. But rather than flatten him for his lack, I've been showing him how it's done. This is very, very difficult for me (impatient as hell with teaching) but it's been well worth the time and effort since he's picked up on it in incremental stages. He in turn has been teaching me other aspects of life, aspects that are intuitive to him. In both of us doing this, we've grown much closer since we're a team, rather than two units who battle for control. He's also a very, very dominant personality type.
califnan Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 SarahRose, I'm like you in that we have dominant personality types. What people like us have to learn, is to modify our behaviour. Control IS what kills relationships. Whether he has the experience or not, doesn't mean he isn't capable of getting there. The more you flatten someone, the less likely they'll be able to make good decisions in future. In doing so, you create a codependency, where he never matures in those areas and then NEEDS you to take over but will resent you for doing so. I sometimes struggle with my husband's lack of knowledge with finance and investments. But rather than flatten him for his lack, I've been showing him how it's done. This is very, very difficult for me (impatient as hell with teaching) but it's been well worth the time and effort since he's picked up on it in incremental stages. He in turn has been teaching me other aspects of life, aspects that are intuitive to him. In both of us doing this, we've grown much closer since we're a team, rather than two units who battle for control. He's also a very, very dominant personality type. ------------------- Still .. Your above comment has nothing to do with the OP, Her Thread, Her Pertinent facts and important question .. In other words: Why do you bring a friend into a business as a partner/shareholder, when they contribute nothing financially - and their common craft is only needed by you on a part time basis (or a few hrs per job) .. And what verbal reasoning can prevent this ..
threebyfate Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 ------------------- Still .. Your above comment has nothing to do with the OP, Her Thread, Her Pertinent facts and important question .. In other words: Why do you bring a friend into a business as a partner/shareholder, when they contribute nothing financially - and their common craft is only needed by you on a part time basis (or a few hrs per job) .. And what verbal reasoning can prevent this ..When I see an underlying theme in posters, I tend to address my perception of underlying issues rather than providing band-aid solutions. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. But I guarantee that band-aids don't work.
Author SarahRose Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 Kinda like when 2 teenagers get together and they cut yards for the summer.. One guy brings his Dad's lawnmower the other prints the fliers and stuffs mailboxes and they are partners Oh.. well then.. If thats the case I wouldn't want to be a partner to him either.. People like that will dissolve the partnership in the same fashion they threw it together.. on a whim... AC you get it. That is the best way to describe what is happening here.
Author SarahRose Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 ------------------- Still .. Your above comment has nothing to do with the OP, Her Thread, Her Pertinent facts and important question .. In other words: Why do you bring a friend into a business as a partner/shareholder, when they contribute nothing financially - and their common craft is only needed by you on a part time basis (or a few hrs per job) .. And what verbal reasoning can prevent this .. It has nothing to do with the topic. She is projecting how she is on to me because she says she is a control freak. I am not. If I wanted to send 10k to a tv preacher I would hope my husband would flat out tell me no way. If my husband wanted to mortgage our house for a pyramid scheme why would I tip toe around and coddle an ego even discussing it when the idea is wrong?
califnan Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 Sarah, I think before starting the business, your husband should meet with a consultant or family attorney .. for other views of this emotional outside partnership .. It doesn't seem like good business .. and could turn out to be a financial detriment to the business.
Author SarahRose Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Well it looks like he really doesn't want to do this after all. He was wanting to order some expensive equipment which is fine but I just said he needed a business name so it could be registered and get our tax number for the business so at the end of the year this equipment could be claimed. He said that he was just wanting to get the equipment first and see how it goes and he wouldn't give me a business name to register. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to do it and nothing against him at all. I guess the fantasy of being your own boss is strong for a lot of people but they really don't want to do the work that is involved. In general, that is probably why most businesses fail because they are started on a whim. Im a bit disappointed as I really thought this could be good.
carhill Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Yeah, the first thing I did, even while still employed, was to file an official business name and get tax authority. I then acquired equipment for nearly three years before going out on my own completely, capitalizing the business for 12 months of projected expenses and personal income requirements after leaving employment. I guess that's a bit like the business plan you were speaking of, though I didn't do it in a formal way. Of course, hubby might want to have some fun (nothing wrong with that) and make some side money and maybe grow that into a business later. If so, that's valid, but is approached differently. He's not being clear about what he wants, based on your posts here. That would be frustrating. I can empathize. Acceptance with boundaries. You and he are two different people. Both have valid perspectives. Where you meet defines the dynamic of your marriage. Good communication helps. Hope it works out
califnan Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 To the best of my knowledge, in order to have a bank account for the business - he would have to have a federal i.d. number and file a fictitious name statement .. Seems like a pain .. but it would be easy enough for you to do everything one step at a time.. He may only be excited about the production portion of it .. It can work out well with a husband and wife operation .. one compliments the other ..
Author SarahRose Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Yeah, the first thing I did, even while still employed, was to file an official business name and get tax authority. I then acquired equipment for nearly three years before going out on my own completely, capitalizing the business for 12 months of projected expenses and personal income requirements after leaving employment. I guess that's a bit like the business plan you were speaking of, though I didn't do it in a formal way. Of course, hubby might want to have some fun (nothing wrong with that) and make some side money and maybe grow that into a business later. If so, that's valid, but is approached differently. He's not being clear about what he wants, based on your posts here. That would be frustrating. I can empathize. Acceptance with boundaries. You and he are two different people. Both have valid perspectives. Where you meet defines the dynamic of your marriage. Good communication helps. Hope it works out Thanks for the understanding. Yes, all part of the business plan. If the equipment wasn't so expensive, I probably wouldn't care but it will cost between $10,000 and $50,000 to get started. I can't see spending that on some side money.
Author SarahRose Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 To the best of my knowledge, in order to have a bank account for the business - he would have to have a federal i.d. number and file a fictitious name statement .. Seems like a pain .. but it would be easy enough for you to do everything one step at a time.. He may only be excited about the production portion of it .. It can work out well with a husband and wife operation .. one compliments the other .. I am not in the United states but it is similar here. If he would have given me a business name he likes I could have had it all done already.
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