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screwed over.

Choboto

By Choboto
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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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So ive been trying to tell myself that everyone does not screw you over in the end. Ive realize this awhile ago but didnt want to beleive it. but it is how things go. A girl at work has been extremely flirty with me and led me on to beleive she liked me. So i asked her to hang out on 4th and a few times working out since we both workout at the same place. she would say she couldnt cuz i workout to late, and she had to see the fireworks on 4th. Today she was extremely flirty as usual, standing right ontop of me, poking me, and makin jokes at me. I then her talking about some guy in the office. I then see her leave with a guy from another department for lunch. This has snap my last emotional string. and as i thought, smoking, cigs and pills are all i can depend on to live. People arnt worth the time. those 3 are the only things i look forward to and only reason i want to live...

 

every girl ive ever met has only used me for sex/ to show off because of my looks and then ditched me. and im done with it. and it wont change. after 12 girls doin this to me, there is no hope for anything anymore. Ill never find a girl to chill with.

 

Im just ranting to let it out becasue i have no one IRL to talk to.

Edited by Choboto
potrzebie Member

potrzebie

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well, she hasn't exactly screwed you over, and if she's that fickle (flirting but then not going out with you) then maybe be glad that you haven't gone out and gotten attached and THEN she screwed you over, y'know? does she flirt with everyone, or just you? have you maybe been misinterpreting her general friendliness with flirting?

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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well, she hasn't exactly screwed you over, and if she's that fickle (flirting but then not going out with you) then maybe be glad that you haven't gone out and gotten attached and THEN she screwed you over, y'know? does she flirt with everyone, or just you? have you maybe been misinterpreting her general friendliness with flirting?

 

just me.....she doesnt use her baby voice/flirting **** on anyone else besides me. the way she acts 'friendly' to other co-workers isnt the same way she acts to me.

potrzebie Member

potrzebie

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just me.....she doesnt use her baby voice/flirting **** on anyone else besides me. the way she acts 'friendly' to other co-workers isnt the same way she acts to me.

 

well, i guess maybe give it one more shot, but have it be an invite to a "real" date, like dinner or whatever, instead of trying to have it be casual stuff she could do with just anybody...if she's into it great, if not, then you'll know...that'd definitely leave you free to move on to more likely prospects. then you can just enjoy the flirting and not worry about it.

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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well, i guess maybe give it one more shot, but have it be an invite to a "real" date, like dinner or whatever, instead of trying to have it be casual stuff she could do with just anybody...if she's into it great, if not, then you'll know...that'd definitely leave you free to move on to more likely prospects. then you can just enjoy the flirting and not worry about it.

 

i really dont feel like trying again. ill just keep to cigs, alcohol and pills.

potrzebie Member

potrzebie

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i hear ya, sometimes it gets to that point...i can see where the alcohol/cigs/etc are always there for you and never mess with you (lol, except for the consequences of too much of any of them), but there's gotta be some other type of outlet you could have. of course, i'm saying this because i'm trying to quit smoking and am hoping there's something out there to take its place! prob'ly a few days away from the situation will help you clear your head.

txsilkysmoothe Established Member

txsilkysmoothe

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smoking, cigs and pills are all i can depend on to live. those 3 are the only things i look forward to and only reason i want to live....

 

Could these (3) be causing women not to consider you relationship material?

 

Usually a goodlooking man can find a woman interested in dating or being in a relationship with him. Something isn't making sense.

vestigalvirgin Established Member

vestigalvirgin

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OP, perhaps you are a little bit too available to obviously flirtatious women. They are dangling you some bait and you bite for it a little too easily? Then they play with you after you are hooked.

 

Also, try enjoying all these interactions for their own sake and without a huge expectation about some later sexual or emotional "payoff."

 

If a cute woman wants to flirt with you at work or elsewhere, then if you enjoy doing so, well then flirt away. If it leads somewhere fine, if not--well at least it's an amusing way to pass the time, isn't it?

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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Could these (3) be causing women not to consider you relationship material?

 

Usually a goodlooking man can find a woman interested in dating or being in a relationship with him. Something isn't making sense.

 

none of the girls knew about it. i hide this stuff very well. This girl especially did not know about alcohol and pills. she caught me smokin once, but this guy also smokes so thats not the issue. NONE of my friends(even best friend) even know about pills.

 

one of the girls that used me as a ego booster after breaking up with her BF(didnt know this til after she started ignorin me) was a hardcore mormon and didnt even know i smoked or drank. theres sprays for the smell, and gum for breath.

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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OP, perhaps you are a little bit too available to obviously flirtatious women. They are dangling you some bait and you bite for it a little too easily? Then they play with you after you are hooked.

 

Also, try enjoying all these interactions for their own sake and without a huge expectation about some later sexual or emotional "payoff."

 

If a cute woman wants to flirt with you at work or elsewhere, then if you enjoy doing so, well then flirt away. If it leads somewhere fine, if not--well at least it's an amusing way to pass the time, isn't it?

 

thats my problem; im tired of girls flirting but never wanting anything outside of bein physical. aftera point i just feel used for my body and their egos.

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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i hear ya, sometimes it gets to that point...i can see where the alcohol/cigs/etc are always there for you and never mess with you (lol, except for the consequences of too much of any of them), but there's gotta be some other type of outlet you could have. of course, i'm saying this because i'm trying to quit smoking and am hoping there's something out there to take its place! prob'ly a few days away from the situation will help you clear your head.

 

im hoping they cut my life short, im gettin tired of this BS.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
thats my problem; im tired of girls flirting but never wanting anything outside of bein physical. aftera point i just feel used for my body and their egos.

 

Maybe try not making yourself available for sex so easily. Try holding off for a month so that you get to know someone a little.

bac Established Member

bac

Posted
Posted (edited)
i really dont feel like trying again. ill just keep to cigs, alcohol and pills.

 

That is very unusual that the girls use you for sex because it is more typical that men use females as sexual objects.

 

IMO if girls use you for sex you might want to try to enjoy sex with them.

Get interested in sex, sexual fantasies and stuff like that.

 

Are those pills viagra?:)

 

Also, girls use a 5 dates rule before sex to get rid of guys who want only sex. You might use the same method.

Edited by bac
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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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That is very unusual that the girls use you for sex because it is more typical that men use females as sexual objects.

 

IMO if girls use you for sex you might want to try to enjoy sex with them.

Get interested in sex, sexual fantasies and stuff like that.

 

Are those pills viagra?:)

 

Also, girls use a 5 dates rule before sex to get rid of guys who want only sex. You might use the same method.

 

the thing is i dont want sex. i want a relationship, someone to talk to, hold etc.

 

and i live in the South, fantasies dont exist. most girls here are very traditional about what they do.

 

viagra? lol, nah man...

 

also, my number is so low because i do try that im not having sex/making out with you til after awhile(or 1 date for kissing), or itd be alot higher. those girls sound fine then never call.

 

Then I have the issue with girls using me for a ego booster. wanting to hang out with her friends mostly, but nothing else then slowly ignoring me. not trying to be cocky or anything with me saying im good looking, its just what i (and my friends) notice when i have quite a few girls 'check' me out or some **** or when girls go for me out my friends most the time.

 

also i would think so too, but people are people and i generally dont assume a act is gender speecific usually(unless it requires a penis or vagina/boobs).

 

its just frustrating not having girls want a relationship...i dont see how i can attract girls but they dont want a reoccuring relationship with. Id like to say im nice,confident, funny(unless ppl are just bein nice), smart(atleast common sense wise, college book studies are good but not the best, im more of a athletics geek, i know more about that than any subject in school) but rather quiet. None of my friends(i know their not good to use becuase they are generally 9/10 going to just be nice and supportive) understand either why i cant attract a girl for a relationship and only attract bitches who need ego boost or sex.

 

and for the holding off sex. thats what ive been doin and have found absolutely noone outside of parties who doesnt just try to get me to dance or makeout. been sex free for a while now. And like this last girl, girls will flirt and be fine talking to me until i ask them out. once i do they start tapering off. I dont think im bein creepy or wierd or id assume they wouldn't flirt with me. Maybe i have that thing some girls have that 'party look' and most guys wont take them seriously. I just dress how i do, act how i do, and talk like i do without bein fake. I am generally unresponsive to flirting now, but they keep goin at it. Like ill just stand there and continue what i do but they keep tryin...like poking or tickling i just stand there or say "ow" in a rather unexcited voice.

Edited by Choboto
vestigalvirgin Established Member

vestigalvirgin

Posted
Posted

Chboto,

 

is it possible that, while you are apparently attractive enough for girls to want to have sex with you in the first place, you are somewhat lacking in skills?

 

It seems to me that if you are giving the girls what they want they will tend to stick around.

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

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Posted
Chboto,

 

is it possible that, while you are apparently attractive enough for girls to want to have sex with you in the first place, you are somewhat lacking in skills?

 

It seems to me that if you are giving the girls what they want they will tend to stick around.

 

what skills?

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
Chboto,

 

is it possible that, while you are apparently attractive enough for girls to want to have sex with you in the first place, you are somewhat lacking in skills?

 

It seems to me that if you are giving the girls what they want they will tend to stick around.

 

This is my impression as well. You have the looks obviously in that girls are flirting with you and I gather are the initiators, but there would seem to be something that makes them not want to stick around. Some aspect of your personality, or maybe bad breath or BO. Or maybe it a social/class stigma issue, or you make comments that offend the women without realizing it.

 

While I type this I cant see your posts but I did get the impression the past girls you talk about came on to you. Has this been the trend? If so then you should initiate the flirting with the next girl that takes your fancy or see if one of your friend's girlfriends can set you up with a nice girl, or even try get an impartial opinion from your mate's girlfriends who know you as to what if anything you are doing wrong.

 

There are plenty of guys on LS that would love to have your dilemma, though I would be getting a bit of a complex after a while too if none of my relationships went past a month.

vestigalvirgin Established Member

vestigalvirgin

Posted
Posted
what skills?

 

 

If you have to ask....

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Choboto Established Member

Choboto

Posted
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Posted (edited)
This is my impression as well. You have the looks obviously in that girls are flirting with you and I gather are the initiators, but there would seem to be something that makes them not want to stick around. Some aspect of your personality, or maybe bad breath or BO. Or maybe it a social/class stigma issue, or you make comments that offend the women without realizing it.

 

While I type this I cant see your posts but I did get the impression the past girls you talk about came on to you. Has this been the trend? If so then you should initiate the flirting with the next girl that takes your fancy or see if one of your friend's girlfriends can set you up with a nice girl, or even try get an impartial opinion from your mate's girlfriends who know you as to what if anything you are doing wrong.

 

There are plenty of guys on LS that would love to have your dilemma, though I would be getting a bit of a complex after a while too if none of my relationships went past a month.

 

they seem to enjoy talking to me...i dont think im saying mean stuff. i dont belittle people, against my values, i dont

 

last convo with that girl went liek this

 

*im playing a game on a comp at work*

*she walks up and starts poking me in my side with a flag*

Me:"ow" *i say that every time she pokes me jokingly*

Me: "you got small hands"

*we compare hand sizes

Me: "thats kinda wierd how your biggest finger is the size of my pinky"

her: " im not weird!" (in what seemed like a sarcastic joking voice)

Me: "Not you, your not wierd, the size of your hand compared to mine is mindboggling".

Her: *sticks her tongue out at me and does a girly bear growl she always does(some work joke) and goes back to work*

Me* I cower in fear playing on her growl*

*i walk but the office shes in get some water 5 mins later*

her: "where are you going?"

Me:"to get some water"

her: good, you better not leave

 

i dont really see if im being mean or condescending or a prick towards her.

 

and yes its usually girls approaching me. i approached 1 girl in one of my classes and we hung out a bit,but she kinda fell off the planet for some reason( im thinkin i didnt move fast enough for her. been tryin to go slow so i dont get abused again guess it was to slow. i was talkin to this girl while the girl at work tried flirting with me the first 1-5 months i started workin there so thats why i didnt capitalize o the flirting at first). another girl i approached we talked for 3 weeks(dates(dinner, movies, mini golf, ate lunch together when we both had lunch at the same time), hung out alot) and she ****ed my best friend. i forgave him after a few weeks cuz we werent exactly BF/GF but dropped her. so either way i havnt been to lucky.

Edited by Choboto
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