processing Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I am unsure what to do as I'm being pulled in two directions and wouldn't mind some advice. My ex is still in contact with me, we never really did NC completely for more than a couple weeks. The last two weeks he has been initiating contact and I've accepted it via talking through chat, then email, texting and finally the last few days he's called me at least 2-3 times a day (I've answered one of the calls but usually miss the other ones letting them go to voice mail.) He is wanting to fly here in August to visit me and possibly take a short holiday together (we were a ldr for a few months then lived in the same country (his) for over a year). He was planning on hanging out for a couple of weeks. I am a little bit shocked to say the least. He was talking about possibly trying to reconnect and overall just see me. He's about a 17 hour flight away so it's not just a little hop over the pond it's a major one. But I am uncertain. Here's the thing, he may be still dating the friend that in the end in my opinion broke us up (long story short caught him in a lie, he was talking to another woman - hadn't been physical - and I opted to break up with him due to crossing boundaries and a week and a half later... they hooked up). I asked him last night via email which he should get when he wakes up. I'm figuring if the answer is yes... then back to nc (with a little more success this time) and if the answer is no... that's the difficultly I'm having. I'm wondering why would he even want to come visit me if he's dating another woman now? She wouldn't be very happy to know he's still talking to his ex nor flying all that way to hang out with her for two or more weeks. It's not like he can particularly hide the fact that he's going to be here. Where we are talking about going has no cellphone towers (camping) near and he'll be out of communication for a week. Is this guy trying to have his cake and eat it too?? Is this guy perhaps trying to see if there is a respark?? Has he perhaps realized he made a mistake and want to try again? He's not said it btw - but I know the road to reconciliation sometimes isn't a smooth one and doesn't happen in the way we want it to. Still... it's all about self preservation here. Yes I am willing to give him another chance but it has to be of his doing. I figure taking a step to come visit is a good one (I didnt suggest it... he did). But I guess I just need some more proof. I guess it'll come when he responds to my email. If he's not dating her and coming over here it's a start. But... what if he IS dating her and wants to come still? For me my head says no way, but a small piece of me wonders why he would even think about coming if that's the case. And another small piece still says come on over - that's the catty piece that might flaunt it to the ow if given half a chance! (I wouldn't to be honest, but thinking about it sure feels nice).
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