alwaysinluv Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I was in a long-term relationship with a man 20 years ago that was not healthy to say the least, but we were both young and extremely immature. In the past 20 years, I never stopped dreaming about him or periodically thinking about him and wondering how he was doing. I use to see him here and there and have even hung out and had conversations with absolutely no interest on either of our parts. He just got out of a 10-year relationship and I got out of an 11-year relationship over a year ago. The worse thing I've ever gone through. About 2-months ago, I seen him at a club for the first time in years and felt something different, I was very attracted to him again, (maybe out of loneliness). I had not felt this way about anyone since my ex of 11 years. I knew he felt the same because he sat by me the whole night and before he left, he asked for my number (which is what I wanted him to do). Before you knew it, we spent a night together and I thought that was it. Bad memories came up and I through it back in his face (mistake). He got extremely angry the next morning and asked why I would ruin such a great evening together by saying those things. He told me never to call him again, so we didn't speak for a month after that, then oddly enough, I had a dream about his dad who had passed from cancer, so I texted him the next morning. He responded immediately that he had never stopped thinking about me. Since then, he has spent the last 2 weekends with me and has shown up to 2 places out of the clear blue that he knew I was at. I had told him that I wasn't ready for a committment the first night together, but never expected to start feeling differently, so I told him that the next time we got together, but he said he doesn't want a girlfriend. I know it's because he was hurt by her (she already has a new boyfriend whom she flaunts on FB), and it's only been a couple of months since his break-up as opposed to my 14 month break-up which I was still mourning until I started spending more time with my ex from 20 years ago. People keep telling me that he is taking it slow, but I'm so terrified that I jumped in too fast (because in all honesty I was hurting so bad, I wanted to forget my ex and just connect with someone new after 11 years because I was lonley and only human) and now I find that I am developing feelings for him. The thing is that I know that he is too. Actions speak louder than words. I see the way he looks at me and we go out, so we don't only sleep together. He is always asking me questions to get to know my intentions and when he's with me for 3 days, it's with me. He doesn't sneak off to use the cell or check his message. We talk so freely and openly with each other about our past, our feelings and we are having a great time together, but I don't know if I should risk being hurt because he may not want anything or take a risk and see if it leads anywhere.
moxo Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Having feelings for someone is always a risk, but when it pays off it is amazing, as you know. It's possible you are on the rebound a little and you sound like you are still emotionally open from your last relationship, so just try to take it as slow as you can. Don't push him and the main thing is enjoy it and HAVE FUN! Live in the moment
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