chooch Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I keep breaking it!! She says I need to stop texting her and I know I do. I can feel it pushing her further and further away. Anyway I saw her in town today, by complete coincidence. She normally gets off at a later bus stop and I was walking back to uni and she was walking towards me. I fell in love with her all over again; she looked stunning! Anyway, I said hey and she offered to keep me company whilst I had lunch. I accepted and played it cool. I just enjoyed her company. I did bring up the relationship (MAJOR NO NO) but we parted in good company and I didn't beg for her back. Then when I got home I texted her. for god's sake I'm my own worst enemy... From now I go no contact for good UNLESS SHE makes a move to rekindle the relationship. I cannot keep doing this to myself. I know I'm a grade A idiot and only have myself to blame but seriously, anyone struggling with NC. I've let myself down umpteen times. If you want her back or no go NC and keep it up. if only i can heed my own advice...
hurt and devastated Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 You really do need to heed your own advice, especially if she's already asked you to stop contacting her. I know it's tough because you're hurting without her and always want to know what's going on with her, but it's for the best. I would suggest looking up a poster here named Mcgrupp and read some of his threads. I did, and it made a big difference. He actually did many of the things I want to, but seeing how it worked out for him made me change my mind on acting on any of it.
Author chooch Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 You really do need to heed your own advice, especially if she's already asked you to stop contacting her. I know it's tough because you're hurting without her and always want to know what's going on with her, but it's for the best. I would suggest looking up a poster here named Mcgrupp and read some of his threads. I did, and it made a big difference. He actually did many of the things I want to, but seeing how it worked out for him made me change my mind on acting on any of it. I know. I'm gonna keep it up this time. Don't want her to hate me. She still wants to be friends and I can be one day provided i don't blow it in the meantime!! I need to show I;m strong and have moved on. sadly I haven't done that straight away; it's been half a month now. I'm gonna look worthless in her eyes. Need to buck up my ideas!
Ilovecake Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Chooch you are officially the "creepy stalker ex". Do you really want to be known as that guy?
Author chooch Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 Chooch you are officially the "creepy stalker ex". Do you really want to be known as that guy? exactly... i dunno if i can shirk the label now but i'm damned well gonna try!!
Ilovecake Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 exactly... i dunno if i can shirk the label now but i'm damned well gonna try!! You can, but you have to stick to total complete NC. That means don't jump at the opportunity to have contact with her, even if she initiates. Be the cool “I wonder what he's up to" mysterious guy instead. This is coming form an ex creepy stalker girl.
ResetReality Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 haha i know what you mean about the stunning part, just after me and my gf broke up next day we decided to go out as mates, when she opened the door, i thought wow, she is amazing, after that day, i realized that id be going through too much pain to ever be mates with her, so off i went on NC im a ghost to her and shes a ghost to me but i know if i saw even one picture of her id go back to square one my advice is DELETE everything that reminds you of her including her number! its hard but its the only way if she does want to contact you she knows where you are
Phateless Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 She's only talking to you now out of pity and compassion. She told you outright to stop texting her so much. That means its over. MOVE ON!
HopeLove Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Go for NC, is the only reasonable thing you can do. It might help you getting her back and if won't work eventually will help you moving on. Slowly you will be back to your life and will start to miss her less and less. Just bear in mind it takes time. Be strong!
jlr Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 It's hard. I know how you feel, man. One thing though: You have to do NC for YOU, not because you think it will bring her back to you. Most likely, it won't. Most likely, the relationship is probably over. I know that hurts to hear. But if there is ANY hope still left, it won't happen due to any tactical moves you do or don't make. If it's meant to be, it will happen. You need to do NC because it's what you need to do to heal from this. The pain will just keep happening over and over each time you talk to her or see her. I know this from experience. You're ripping the scab open over and over. Plus, if she's told you not to text her like that, why would you want to text or call someone who doesn't return it, or appreciate it? Believe me I was at the point you are once. In fact, I've been at that point off and on for quite some time. It doesn't work. For YOU, do NC. Don't worry about her or the relationship.
Author chooch Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 I have deleted all pics, blocked her on fb weeks ago (she was miffed so I explained I needed to do it to cope), deleted her number, burned all physical mementos so I will never be compelled to look at them. But I know her number off by heart (have for years) so just end up texting her... it's really useless. She does text back sometimes and initiates some texts as she genuinely seems to want to be friends. But I have explained a few weeks ago its too soon for that. I think it's so hard cos it was my first long term relationship and we were best mates beforehand. Doesn't excuse my actions but at least puts them in context. I have accepted it's over and crying over spilt milk won't fix anything. I need to move on and in time I think she will realize what she's missing. If not then I'll be stronger for it! Thanks again to everyone on here. Losing someone is such a headf*** - I know it's the same for almost everyone on here, so thank you for taking time to chide me!! I'm not a creepy stalker ex and sure as hell don't wanna be perceived as one!
listen_to_me_please Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) my ex said i was harassing her and i was calling her, texting her and emailing her. in my case here is what happen feb - found out she was cheating march - she was begging, i told her to die, kicked her out, called her whore, but she wouldn't quit, everyday kept calling me, everyday for a about a week then someone we start to talk and the tables start to turn and the more i realize she was not coming back and the more i realize she was just using me and liked the way things were and the more i realize she wanted me to alleviate her gilt and the more i realize she wanted things to end on a good note. (to late for that) One day she tells me she needs space, so I just fired her again and told her to eat **** and die. I went NC April - I call her on her birthday, i tell her happy birthday, i called her again that same day, about 3 times, telling her to break up with me in person, she never picked up. went back to NC, broke nc ONCE in 30 day period. May - The female calls my cousin and says I was harassing her, texting her, emailing her and calling her. I just took the phone and hung up on her, I was in the car when my cousin picked up and put it on speaker phone. [That I never UNDERSTOOD she called exactly 15 days after I called her and then lied?] I never heard from that female again, that was over 2 years ago and I still think about her. In fact, just a little while ago, I was sitting on my porch, and my head just started to hurt, and flash backs just came to my mind, so I left that area and I just started to wash the dishes and I remembered when we use to make love and how close we were, I couldn't even wash the dishes, I had to put them down. I don't know what that means in the grand scheme of things. I figured I would of forgot all about it by now, but nope, its almost like its stuck inside of me and I can't shake it In your case, your head is still screwed up. Good Luck to you. Edited July 7, 2010 by listen_to_me_please
spriggig Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 ... it's been half a month now. You're only two weeks after the breakup? Don't beat yourself up, everyone slips. You know the rules, you'll get better at sticking to them and it will get easier. I'm going to suggest something that is blasphemy in the NC circles. After you get through several weeks of successful NC, and assuming there seems to be no chance of reconciliation (important), consider making contact with her, not to get back together but to, in a controlled way, desensitize yourself future, inevitable random contact through HER choice (to put you the friendzone), or through chance encounters at a party, etc. Be honest with yourself about your reason for contacting her and don't do this, if you are trying to use NC to get her back, for obvious reasons. This idea comes from my successful (for my own healing) use of LC, which I'm forced to use instead of NC because of my son. And, noticing that so many people are blindsided by unexpected contact after many months or even years of NC and knocked into depression.
heavensmesenger Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Only read your post dude nobody elses... Be strong and you have to do NC especially if she says "Do not contact me" your leaving yourself open for a Restraining Order if you carry on! I know you want to see her/speak to her but give it a month and then get back in touch. Let her miss you and take the month to work on yourself. Good luck
Recommended Posts