McGrupp Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 seriously think about this... what do you want? do you want them back? or do you want something else thats new and pure and free of that pain and anguish, depression and anxiety? are you just afraid? afraid to let go? afraid to put yourself back out there? afraid youll get hurt again? why do you want someone...who doesn't want you?
harkkam Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Because finding that person that is just as pretty, smart and loving the person she used to be is not something I can just walk around and find. If I knew there was another girl like her in my future soon. I would give up on her. But I cant
GrayClouds Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 (edited) Because finding that person that is just as pretty, smart and loving the person she used to be is not something I can just walk around and find. Finding a special other is hard, that is why it is called love. When it is easy it is called prostitution. I suspect you rather have love. If I knew there was another girl like her in my future soon. I would give up on her. But I cant BS you simple choosing not to. OK if that is what you want but understand it is your choice. Edited July 6, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author McGrupp Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 shes not that special. and either are you. theres 3 billion women in the world. go experience a lot of them. and if you still arent over her then go back to your ex. but until youve been with numerous women, experienced all different relationships, dated and know yourself better and what you want from a relationship, how can you say she was the one? obviously she wasnt if your on here. lets says she does come back, calls you up, says she made a mistake! oh boy...except you havent changed. you havent became any better. in fact your still as needy, depressed, emotionally overraching or negligent. so...she wasnt that great. i mean she was...but she wasnt. you miss a relationship. you miss co-dependecy you miss someone giving a **** about all the little stupid things you do. guess what? no one cares. nobody gives a ****. get this through your head. your letting her take up real estate in your head that she doesnt even want. become more attractive to all women, and maybe shell come back. proabbly she wont, but at least youll meet someone else. **** i almost wasted an entire year on this girl. a year of my very short life. sad really.
earthfireuk Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Hey, well I'm 26, and have been dating for 12 years. Iv been in relationships with quite a few women. I have met thousands and thousands of women. With that in mind I can honestly say that in 26 years I have not met anyone as special as my ex. Seriously, I know on one hand its a defeatist attitude and I am sure there are plenty of women out there who posess the same qualities as her, but if I have met only one in 12 years. That kinda suggests im in for a pretty long wait the odds arn't on
bananaboat11 Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I'm broke. I want to be fixed. Only I can do that though.
harkkam Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I know I am hurting myself over a person that doesn't give a sh*t about me. Thats what makes it even more absurd because all I can think about is the beautiful woman I made love to in my home, or in the car. The words and things we said, the sweet things I did for her and her smile. I miss her the WOMAN she used to be, not the woman who is mean and HARSH and hurts me and rejects me. Part of the reason this happened is because I know I made mistakes in our relationship. I just want somehow to reconcile and show her I've changed but there is no hope of that. She herself has said it. I am a shy quiet person who doesnt talk to many people. So finding another woman like her for ME....not likely. Guess that leaves me alone for OOO say another year or two before I can just hold someone.
Author McGrupp Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 Hey, well I'm 26, and have been dating for 12 years. Iv been in relationships with quite a few women. I have met thousands and thousands of women. With that in mind I can honestly say that in 26 years I have not met anyone as special as my ex. Seriously, I know on one hand its a defeatist attitude and I am sure there are plenty of women out there who posess the same qualities as her, but if I have met only one in 12 years wait she was beautiful, sexy, caring, and had a cool life, etc? holy **** so did mine? was it the same girl? wtf... anyway what im saying is that if had a girl that had all those things, and you had a girl that had all those things and all the other dudes on LS had girls that had all of those things, then THERE MUST BE A LOT OF ****ING GIRLS WITH ALL THOSE THINGS. oh and youve been dating since you were 14? well im going to discount all those women from 14-21. those didnt count. so how many relationships have you been in since 21? 1-3? that doesnt sound like that much experience
harkkam Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Yeah but who has the energy to go out and put yourself out there again when you feel so low and hurt from being dropped like a hot potato. Especially shy people who dont talk to women that often.
worlybear Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 seriously think about this... what do you want? do you want them back? or do you want something else thats new and pure and free of that pain and anguish, depression and anxiety? are you just afraid? afraid to let go? afraid to put yourself back out there? afraid youll get hurt again? why do you want someone...who doesn't want you? Nah. I just want REVENGE.
Ilovecake Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Hey, well I'm 26, and have been dating for 12 years. Iv been in relationships with quite a few women. I have met thousands and thousands of women. With that in mind I can honestly say that in 26 years I have not met anyone as special as my ex. Seriously, I know on one hand its a defeatist attitude and I am sure there are plenty of women out there who posess the same qualities as her, but if I have met only one in 12 years. That kinda suggests im in for a pretty long wait the odds arn't on 26? Yeah it's over, you might as well just lie down and start dying because after 25 that's all you have to look forward to. Your best days are behind you buddy. I’m just feel privileged that I got to talk to THE GUY who slept with the best woman in the whole wide world and to think she reached best woman status in her 20s. As a woman I find what you are saying extremely offensive. I bet there are at least 20 people out there who think I'm way better than your ex girlfriend. Are you going to argue with 20 people? Boy oh boy are you young and man do you have a heap of things to learn. I want you to come back and read this thread when you're 36. You'll have a fabulous laugh at how young and naive you sounded. Man up and get your butt out there and meet some real quality people.
Ilovecake Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Especially shy people who dont talk to women that often. Shyness is not an uncontrollable circumstance that just happened to you, you create it now uncreated it and step outside of your comfort zone. You're shy because you have crappy self esteem problems. Start thinking you’re the best thing since sliced bread and deserve all the best life has to offer to you. Obviously you are not ready to meet anyone yet, there is nothing wrong with that. Yeah it would be easier to fall back into old, nasty patterns but you have been given the opportunity to better your life so why would you pass that up for more years of the same misery? You have absolutely no idea what’s out there for you. When you’re 70 sitting around covered in age spots and saggy skin and still pinning for the same girl you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass because you have absolutely nothing to talk about. You'll have no fun memories to look back at because you wasted your entire life on a fantasy instead of really living. There is no such thing as an uncontrollable circumstance, nothing just happens. You create every feeling and though and gesture you have, your life is the only thing you have 100% control over so concentrate on that instead of fantasizing about controlling someone else’s thought and actions.
hurt and devastated Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I know this is unhealthy, but if my wife told me right now that she wanted to work things out and to come back home, I would. I'm trying to work on myself and the things I know led up to this point. I'm not taking all the blame for what went wrong, but it takes two and I certainly played my part. I know it would be the wrong thing to do because there was cheating done on her part, and jealousy and anger would be bound to surface. So in short, I do want her back, because we have a beautiful family together, and things were great between us until some mistakes I made drove her away. Regardless, I'm working on fixing me for myself and the kids, and the chips will fall where they may concerning my marriage. Do I hope she'll change her mind someday? Of course, but I'm going to run with it's over for good.
earthfireuk Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 From your response you quite clearly took personal offence to that without actually understanding what I was saying. I was simply sharing my experience and explaining that since my time dating, I have only met one person who I felt was right for me. I was certainly not saying that I believe there are not wonderful, beautiful people out there in this big world we live in. I was also not writing off women in general by saying that I have only ever met one in my life so far which I believe is right for me (yes me, not your ex boyfriend or the 20 people who think you are way better than my ex girlfriend). It’s all about being individual. Different people seek different things in a partner. I have only met one who I truly believe is perfect for me so far. My age is irrelevant her age is also irrelevant. It’s not about age or " reaching the best woman status in there 20s". It's about two people who feel right for each other. If I feel I have met the most amazing person I have ever met in my life so far, then so be it. I guess that’s what makes it so special when you do. It’s the rarity of meeting someone who you have the most wonderful connection with. If it was that easily found then we wouldn’t cherish it so deeply. Also, I would like to apologise if I have caused offence to anyone else in my last post. As you can clearly see, it was purely a reflection of my own experience and not one of naivety or a belief that I feel that no woman is good enough. 26? Yeah it's over, you might as well just lie down and start dying because after 25 that's all you have to look forward to. Your best days are behind you buddy. I’m just feel privileged that I got to talk to THE GUY who slept with the best woman in the whole wide world and to think she reached best woman status in her 20s. As a woman I find what you are saying extremely offensive. I bet there are at least 20 people out there who think I'm way better than your ex girlfriend. Are you going to argue with 20 people? Boy oh boy are you young and man do you have a heap of things to learn. I want you to come back and read this thread when you're 36. You'll have a fabulous laugh at how young and naive you sounded. Man up and get your butt out there and meet some real quality people.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Give yourself time to grieve, it took me 6-7 months of crying every day and basically falling apart, I'd lost the love of my life because he felt neglected the last few years as I was so busy. Eventually I realised he wasn't coming back (he left me after 18 years), I went NC and bit by bit it got easier, around the same time (6 months post split) I started talking to someone who was in the same boat as me, he had been left after a long term relationship. Long story short I am in love again and never ever thought I would be, I HAVE found someone special again, I met him online as we are both quiet/shy.We were friends at first talking about our heartbreak and how we wanted our ex's back, bit by bit though we didn't want them back! Something we never thought we would feel. Don't let shyness hold you back...I for one, find it endearing in other people. There are even shy passions sites let yourself grieve first though, you need to go through it until you are ready to meet someone else. I now meet up with my ex each week too now, we have both moved on so it's easier now. I love my ex as a dear friend now and always will. A year this month that we split. Please believe me when I say things DO get better, I never thought I would come through it, look at some of my old posts, you'll see how depressed I was. All the best to you. Yeah but who has the energy to go out and put yourself out there again when you feel so low and hurt from being dropped like a hot potato. Especially shy people who dont talk to women that often.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 You nailed it! Took me 6-7 months post break up to realise no-one was gonna fix me and that I had to do something about it so I could move on. I'm broke. I want to be fixed. Only I can do that though.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Wanted him back for 7 months, when I meet up with him now (we meet up once a week) I don't look at him sexually, I don't fancy him now, just love him as a friend. Never thought I would reach the stage I wouldn't want him back. Meeting someone else has helped, but so did going NC, actually NC enabled me to move on and develop feelings for someone else, and so did thinking why would I want someone who no longer wants me? seriously think about this... what do you want? do you want them back? or do you want something else thats new and pure and free of that pain and anguish, depression and anxiety? are you just afraid? afraid to let go? afraid to put yourself back out there? afraid youll get hurt again? why do you want someone...who doesn't want you?
LoveTruthChaos Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) I want success for myself. I want to continue on my journey in this life. I want to fulfill all my hopes and dreams. I want to meet someone special. At the moment, I want to buy a house and kickstart my career. I want happiness for my Mum and my friends. I want happiness for myself. My ex is neither good enough, nor factors into ANY of these plans! Edited July 7, 2010 by LoveTruthChaos
cdt76 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Nah. I just want REVENGE. Amen brother! I want to see her suffer!
Author McGrupp Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 I want success for myself. I want to continue on my journey in this life. I want to fulfill all my hopes and dreams. I want to meet someone special. At the moment, I want to buy a house and kickstart my career. I want happiness for my Mum and my friends. I want happiness for myself. My ex is neither good enough, nor factors into ANY of these plans! awesome! this is what im talking about!
This Hurts Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 What I want above all, is to be able to be completely happy and satisfied by myself.
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