lso802 Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 We're both going to different schools. She's in the West coast and I on the East. Two things led to the break up, and I'm wondering what you guys would have done? First, she went out on a date with a guy her friends set her up with. She said she wasn't interested in him and kept turning down his advances. I was extremely upset and just didn't talk to her for a couple of days. Second, while I wasn't talking to my girl, there's been this girl I've looked at sometimes, since she sits right in front of me. Usually, I'm able to look at girls, think about mine and smile thinking none of them can compare. I know this girl is attracted to me. She came to sit next to me, tries to start conversations with me and even waits for me after class. Now I avoid all this by giving her one word responses, switching seats and not taking my regular route from class. I never asked for her contact info. Will likely never see her again. Although I avoided her, I know I was attracted and that fairly shook me up. I know her friends aren't going to stop setting her up, because they don't approve of our LDR. Also, I'm not sure if I'm going to be strong enough for that and naturally not even be attracted to girls like I used to be. Thanks for hearing me out. Would appreciate some input on this.
stace79 Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 First off, if my friends tried to set me up, I would politely tell them no thanks. If they continued to insist or push their opinions of my relationship, I would let them know that I'm committed to my LDR, and unless/until I decide it doesn't work for ME and end it, I am not open to other dates or being set up. If it was bad enough, I would also let my friends know that they are important to me, but if they continue to undermine and disrespect my decisions, that I won't be able to hang out with them as much. Second, I think that YOUR actions show your true commitment. It is inevitable that we will meet and/or see people we are attracted to throughout life. It is the fact that you acted to avoid developing the attraction further that show how committed you are to your LDR. It is sad that your commitment was so much stronger than your girlfriend's. I think you are completely justified in breaking up with her if she went on another date. That is just not acceptable.
Hop_prophet Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Her going on a date with another guy would be a dealbreaker for me. It shows that she is looking at other options and not truly committed to the relationship. In fact if you two agreed on an exclusive relationship then I would consider this a form of cheating. I think you are doing the right thing here.
MelanieLynMarie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Wow tough situation your in. I'm in an LDR too, just celebrated our first year today actually. I'm sort of in the same position your girlfriend was in. My friends don't really approve of our relationship and rather kind of push me towards other guys. I've not gave in though. Like you...I can't find anyone who compares to him.
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