Why does she want to be facebook friends

[lundhunden]

Hey guys, first time poster here, and im not gonna bore you with all the details.

 

Basically I was seeing this girl, both of us were completely in love with eachother. Her moreso than me.

 

What I found out during the relationship was, that she had many issues from her past, past boyfriends and generally being mistreated.

What we ended up with, was that she saw ghosts and seemingly have not overcome these issues.

She's scared i think, which made her ask for some time apart/breakup/time to think.

I still have some stuff at her place, but needed some time to calm myself down after what imo is a major wrong decision from her side.

As soon as the day she decided this, she said she had one foot in staying and one in going.

 

But while i was recovering she called me, we talked, and agreed to talk again when both she and I are home from vacation, in the end of Juli.

At the same time she verified that she thought it was because of her not having dealt with her issues, and that she knew I usually cut all contact with exes, and I do mean all, but she did not want me to defriend her on Facebook and that she at the same time knew she couldnt expect anything if she comes crawling back.

 

Since then, ive been doing no contact, but I cant help to look occasionally on her facebook profile. Theres even still a picture of us kissing i think.

But I have for my mental health untagged myself from the pictures, and still she hasnt erased them. Weird imo. I would.

 

I know I shouldnt think too much about all this facebook cr*p, but some things I am puzzled about are amongst others:

 

When she removed her rel.status comments came to 'did he not fullfill your sick list of demands' or 'was he not educated/rich' enough' many more small tokens of why she made a wrong decision. And I do know she is/was crazy for me, has talked about me much etc etc.

But she deleted these post. I dont blame her, but it has to get her thinking right?

Shes been telling me how sorry she is and how she misses me too uptill that phonecall when i went in nc.

 

I have no idea of how to react when she gets home from vacation, plus I just lost my mobile on Roskilde Festival, havent been able to call anyone for 6 days, so dont even know if she's written.. Urgh. The last thing sucks.

 

Man im rambling.. Im just stuck with her in my mind right now, not angry at all, not bitter. Just disapointed and dont know what to expect from whats she's said or her ambigous actions..

Btw, we have been away from eachother about 2 weeks now.

 

Any thoughts?

Edited July 6, 2010 by lundhunden

[hurt and devastated]

You really need to delete her. It's just something you're going to obsess over endlessly if you don't. My wife deleted her relationship status but kept up all of the pics of our wedding and pics of us together, so I quit even thinking about looking at her page. It'll drive you nuts trying to see who she became friends with after the split, and looking at her pics with you will make it worse. You'll be doing yourself a huge favor by deleting/blocking her.

[whatadeer26]

I deleted my ex because I couldn't stand the though of her with someone else. I constantly look to see what her profile picture is though. I can't help it. I miss her and all, but deleting her was a great choice for me. I draw conclusions to much and I work myself up over every little thing on her page.

[lundhunden]

And I know I should.

I told her from the start thats what i usually do, therefore im puzzled as to why she didnt want me too..

But I think, to at least do the right thing and not delete her, at least not untill she gets back. Doing the other thing when she's in the states and im in Denmark - Its just not my thing to do, even though the other way is harder.

 

I guess im still wondering much about all she did/said about future/us/fb etc.

But I guess I need to follow the notion of if she's interested, she'll come herself.

Right?

[lundhunden]

Apparently i have been so much into this girl, that im taking this blow really bad.

My confidence is GONE. Im feeling like my friends are done with me wining. I feel like people are looking wrong at me no matter what I do. I feel like my looks are ****.

Finally found this incredibly hot girl where everything worked and then..Gone.

Like that..

F*ck

[whatadeer26]

Buddy, I thought and still think the same exact things from time to time. Why do you think she was responsible for your happiness? If you could get a Hot girl once why not again?

 

I loved having guys turn around and just stare at my ex. She was constantly hit on when I wasn't with her. It was an ego boost for me and I loved it. Work on yourself while you have this time. My ex was needy, in a way I liked it but she was very childish also where she wanted things her way, but wouldn't tell me.

 

Both of our hot ex's are gone. We need to heal and move on. Go out for a happy hour after work or go out with your friends to a place you've never been. Get out of your element you may have fun and meet good people.

 

She doesn't want you to delete her facebook because she wants to look at it. For your own good, delete it. I did and felt better. I still can't seem to remove the tag from the pictures of us though.